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Title: Manual for choosing Gameaday
To: SR Staff
Author: Mr Snuggly
Version: 1.04
Brief
-----
As I will be taking on new tasks in the near future in order to wrangle a pay-rise from Tony, please find the attached instructions on choosing the daily Gameaday winners. This is a comprehensive document that will guide you through the process of choosing a winner during your shift.
Instructions for GAD Shift work
--------------------------------
09:00 – After the coffee has been made and a member of staff lower than yourself has been found to fetch and pour it, proceed to look through the last few entries in Fog Chat for conversations regarding Gameaday allocation.
09:30 – If no comments have been made about the length of time taken to choose winners, proceed to the next stage. If any complaints exist (particularly on a Monday) then leave this as long as possible, preferably until tomorrow, then choose a regular or Notable, no matter what they’ve written.
10:00 (or later) – Look at headings of last day’s posts to see if anyone has written anything interesting. If the heading says ‘console war’, ‘my console is better’, ‘hit you wiv my stick’ or any of the usual, then ignore the post. Don’t spend too long looking through these, but just enough time to convince the posters that you’ve checked all the posts for that day.
10:30 – Find staff member from earlier and wait for next cup of coffee. If the day is particularly stressful, send them out for doughnuts.
11:00 – With the posts you have already gathered, discount any which rubbish any games we sell or any dodgy hardware problems. From the remaining posts, check for immediate winners. These will be any posts which contain; Praise for SR, things that make you laugh out loud and cause Tony to look round the corner in a disgruntled manner, any post that appears to be by a newbie and has been copied from another site (which will automatically cause much posting and gnashing of teeth from regular posters and thereby keep up the post count).
12:00 – Lunch (if Tony is out, this will be until 14:00)
13:00 – Send lacky for coffee, evacuate bowels if needed.
13:30 – Now that several posts have been found that could be potential winners, check to see if the poster has written anything in the last 5 hours. If not, disregard their GAD winning post as they don’t deserve it unless they’re prepared to put in the hours.
14:00 – If nothing interesting has turned up then just choose something controversial by any Notable who has written the previous day, especially if it’s only one line long. Otherwise, roll a dice to decide which post will win GAD.
14:30 – If someone has mentioned that the winners list has not been updated, wait until the end of the day to post it, or remove the gameaday page and complain about temporary problems with the internet. Otherwise post the results and wait for the negative feedback.
15:00 – Pretend to continue looking for winners until 17:00 so that Tony does not suspect you of slacking off. Continue to get coffee for the rest of the day. If Tony is on holiday then leave early.
16:30 – Let the gameaday page go down again for 30 minutes to allow for suspense from users who have just logged in.
17:00 – Go home feeling smug for a job well done.
To: SR Staff
Author: Mr Snuggly
Version: 1.04
Brief
-----
As I will be taking on new tasks in the near future in order to wrangle a pay-rise from Tony, please find the attached instructions on choosing the daily Gameaday winners. This is a comprehensive document that will guide you through the process of choosing a winner during your shift.
Instructions for GAD Shift work
--------------------------------
09:00 – After the coffee has been made and a member of staff lower than yourself has been found to fetch and pour it, proceed to look through the last few entries in Fog Chat for conversations regarding Gameaday allocation.
09:30 – If no comments have been made about the length of time taken to choose winners, proceed to the next stage. If any complaints exist (particularly on a Monday) then leave this as long as possible, preferably until tomorrow, then choose a regular or Notable, no matter what they’ve written.
10:00 (or later) – Look at headings of last day’s posts to see if anyone has written anything interesting. If the heading says ‘console war’, ‘my console is better’, ‘hit you wiv my stick’ or any of the usual, then ignore the post. Don’t spend too long looking through these, but just enough time to convince the posters that you’ve checked all the posts for that day.
10:30 – Find staff member from earlier and wait for next cup of coffee. If the day is particularly stressful, send them out for doughnuts.
11:00 – With the posts you have already gathered, discount any which rubbish any games we sell or any dodgy hardware problems. From the remaining posts, check for immediate winners. These will be any posts which contain; Praise for SR, things that make you laugh out loud and cause Tony to look round the corner in a disgruntled manner, any post that appears to be by a newbie and has been copied from another site (which will automatically cause much posting and gnashing of teeth from regular posters and thereby keep up the post count).
12:00 – Lunch (if Tony is out, this will be until 14:00)
13:00 – Send lacky for coffee, evacuate bowels if needed.
13:30 – Now that several posts have been found that could be potential winners, check to see if the poster has written anything in the last 5 hours. If not, disregard their GAD winning post as they don’t deserve it unless they’re prepared to put in the hours.
14:00 – If nothing interesting has turned up then just choose something controversial by any Notable who has written the previous day, especially if it’s only one line long. Otherwise, roll a dice to decide which post will win GAD.
14:30 – If someone has mentioned that the winners list has not been updated, wait until the end of the day to post it, or remove the gameaday page and complain about temporary problems with the internet. Otherwise post the results and wait for the negative feedback.
15:00 – Pretend to continue looking for winners until 17:00 so that Tony does not suspect you of slacking off. Continue to get coffee for the rest of the day. If Tony is on holiday then leave early.
16:30 – Let the gameaday page go down again for 30 minutes to allow for suspense from users who have just logged in.
17:00 – Go home feeling smug for a job well done.
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Some very good ideas that you thought of and it was also very well set out.
The only trouble is, is that you grassed them up to Tony, providing he reads this :-D
The only trouble is, is that you grassed them up to Tony, providing he reads this :-D
I was wondering why it seemed to be such a, familiar number. Now I understand.
Strafex wrote:
> Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
>
> That's a Freeloader joke, non-Nintendo fans.
Indeed, and it was pretty good too, I thought.
> Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
>
> That's a Freeloader joke, non-Nintendo fans.
Indeed, and it was pretty good too, I thought.
Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
That's a Freeloader joke, non-Nintendo fans.
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
That's a Freeloader joke, non-Nintendo fans.
pb wrote:
> Sylphetic wrote:
> Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
>
> I swear it was 1.05... Hmm...
>
> No, 1.05 amends the doughnuts to iced doughnuts.
Oh... What about jammy donoughts? Where are they? And the ones that have little sprinkles on them? I want more!
> Sylphetic wrote:
> Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
>
> I swear it was 1.05... Hmm...
>
> No, 1.05 amends the doughnuts to iced doughnuts.
Oh... What about jammy donoughts? Where are they? And the ones that have little sprinkles on them? I want more!
Sylphetic wrote:
> Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
>
> I swear it was 1.05... Hmm...
No, 1.05 amends the doughnuts to iced doughnuts.
> Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
>
> I swear it was 1.05... Hmm...
No, 1.05 amends the doughnuts to iced doughnuts.
Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
I swear it was 1.05... Hmm...
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
I swear it was 1.05... Hmm...
Dringo wrote:
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
Erm?
> As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is
> the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
Erm?
As its version 1.04 i expect that only works on certain days, it is the new 1.06 one that includes all days.
You forgot a bit
8:58 - Check to see if Meka posted
8:59 - If above is true, go home feeling smug for a job well done.
8:58 - Check to see if Meka posted
8:59 - If above is true, go home feeling smug for a job well done.
Page: