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"Resident Evil XXX"

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This thread has been linked to the game 'Resident Evil'.
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:11
Regular
Posts: 787
N.B This and the thing on Old Skool was written by me. So no noobs copy this and put it in vice city thread for some reason.

NOM review

24 resis ago, Capcom studios were bombed by a strange masked character whom after the bombings exclaimed "That was veeyeewtiful!". The resident evil trademark was quickly bought up by Infogrames, who carefully wh*red all the elements of resident evil so that no-one could tell the difference.

Its the 1st of December 2004 and the release date of the 30th Resident Evil game.

The camera went back to static after many casual Resi and champ manager inhalers commented that a real time camera confused them. Infogrames changed to the classic control system after realising that putting the player in control actually makes it a game. A player commented, "I'm dissapointed with infogrames, it's not scary now you can see where you're going and move where you want to."

The structure of all the games are then same, and all future games after 4 took place in the surprisingly large mansion in which 1 1xtra and 0 were set in.

Through development shots Resi 30 looked more realistic than life. Shortly, the game inverted everything and twisted all reason until the game argued itself out of its own existence. Now it just looks really real.

Infogrames finally said that 30 will be the final Resi game. Heres to hoping.

Being the final game, Infogrames have revealed that all questions that were never answered in previous Resi games (all of them) will be answered.


Playtest:


It is surprising how odd the mansion truly is. The owner seems to give himself a hard time by making most doors locked, opened through the completion of some obscure and unrelated puzzles such as (the goddes of fairy scale, place enemy of fairy on other side of scale to open door.) DELISHIMO 10/10

As expected, voice acting is terrible, but adds to the atmosphere. FANTASTIC 10/10.

Music is same synthesized rubbish! SCRUMMY 11/10.

Overall play test score: 31/30


Oddly enough, when we played it, no questions were actually answered, and last minute, Infogrames just admitted to make another sequel. Just like capcom!

Infogrames has failed to dissapoint again, and we can't wait for the sequel! BETTER NOT TELL YOUR GRAN! HAHAHAHA.


In the back of the magasine: NEXT ISSUE, FREE STICKERS THAT WILL GET ON YOUR MUMS NERVES! DON'T TELL YOUR GRAN!!!!(apparently silicon knights are developing another of their crazy original games)
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:50
Regular
Posts: 11,875
You've still not managed to spell it correctly

I find this slightly amusing, but not much
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:48
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
If Sniper was here.
"ironing is when you flatten clothes with an iron"
That was genius.
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:48
Regular
"Not a Jew"
Posts: 7,532
Look, I'm not here to make enemies. I made a mistake, so what? Nobodys perfect. And when I said you spelt disapointed wrong I was being sarcastic.
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:46
Regular
"Must be Parkinson's"
Posts: 1,471
I wrote that when he started flaming me.
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:44
Regular
Posts: 11,875
Do you know what irony is?
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:43
Regular
"Must be Parkinson's"
Posts: 1,471
Stop ganging up on me. I just wrote this in five minutes waiting to go online, after writing that old skool thing.
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:42
Regular
Posts: 11,875
RoJ88 wrote:
>and disapointed is spelt wrong.

Oh the irony
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:42
Regular
"Must be Parkinson's"
Posts: 1,471
I'm sorry. I insulted your post? Which one?
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:41
Regular
"Not a Jew"
Posts: 7,532
torticollis wrote:
> Gah. No insultings. I can't stand that.
>
> Please just be constructive.

Why'd you insult mine then eh? Anyway, you are missing several apostrophes and disapointed is spelt wrong.
* Sighs while shaking head *
Wed 05/02/03 at 20:36
Regular
"Must be Parkinson's"
Posts: 1,471
Fair enough.

Will it help if we have a manly apology hug?

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