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"Angry gamers"

Games these days are becoming more and more advanced. Much more thought is being applied to the design of games: levels are lush; bosses are much more advanced; and gameplay has improved drastically. While this is all great, it also means that gamers’ brains are working more. Much more thought has to be used in puzzles; when you’re stuck people get frustrated, and some even shout abuse at the TV! This could be prevented easily, yet we seem to forget what we’re playing for. I play games to chill out. Well, yes, they’re fun too, and that is primarily the reason I play video games, but I also play to relax. After a somewhat tiring day at school, I like nothing more than playing video games at home. That’s why I’ve compiled a list of things gamers can do to prevent them from stressing out and landing a punch to the
wall…

1: Music

Music is your friend. The guy from the Beach Boys said it best. “Music can calm even the savage beast”. This is true, well, to a degree. A charging rhino isn’t exactly going to stop in its tracks because someone decided to play Smashing Pumpkins out loud. But then again, I’m talking on a much smaller scale. When you die for the tenth time on Timesplitters 2, don’t yell, shout abuse or lash out, hit pause and go and stick some music on. You’d be surprised how easy your anger buggers off somewhere. But this is good. You don’t want to be angry in front of your friends, no, you want to show them that although you lost again, you can keep your cool and then proceed to whip them at another game. Maturity, I believe. Or something.

2: Siblings

What? Oh come on, you’ve never hurt a sibling before? Who are you, Gandhi? Right, next time you lose, go seek them. Not, not for advice. Find he/she/it, and blame them for something irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how irrelevant, just make sure you have a reason to hit them. Then do. Feel any better? If the answer is Yes, well done, you’re cured. Unfortunately for your brother/sister, they have a couple of years of pain to look forward to. And if the answer is No, proceed to number 3.

3: Crying

This one’s for the pansies out there. “Oh no, fwuffy bunny beat me again!” You make me sick. But alas, this is a guide for everyone, so, er, I should continue I guess. Anyway, go grab the nearest box of Kleenex, sit Teddy back on his pillow on your bed and cry. Cry into the pillow if you must, but don’t be afraid to let the tears flow. Think Hoover Dam, but, er, some random people destroyed it. Yeah…


But if you’re more of a tough man, like the majority, then this’ll also make you feel equally sick. Luckily, there are more steps you can take. Onto number 4, then.

4: Cursing

Teachers, Parents, President’s (Eh Mr Bush…) all curse under their breath from time to time. It's a small, quiet release of anger through either swearing or other offensive words. Cursing under your breath is indeed one of the best methods of controlling your anger. Popular phrases such as, "Son of a…" or perhaps, "You Bas…" are commonly used to release anger in many situations. Therefore, it makes sense that people should use it when playing video games. Don't let your friends see the anger in your eyes, let it out with a silent mutter, one that only you can hear. You calm yet? No? Well, try number 5 in that case.

5: The Mind Game

This is, perhaps, one of the more mature of the anger-controlling techniques. Those of you who are able to control lucid dreaming should only use this, or possibly people who act with their mind, rather than their muscle. You have complete control of your emotions. Don't psyche yourself out though, no, you are able to control everything you feel. Well, unless you're stoned, because then you really don't have control, but meh. And that brings us to the last method, number 6.

6: Hippie, man

This really is the last resort. If anger is still pumping through your veins, then becoming a hippie just might calm you down. Anyone remember the song, "I want to be a hippie and I want to get high..."? Genius. And yes, it can be applied in this situation. Flower power and all that. Yes. But really, the only true way to live like a hippie is to smoke weed. But, er, make sure it's medically prescribed, because the law might start digging around if you don't look out.


So the next time you go to make holes in the wall, stop. Try one of the methods above and see if you chill out. And if veins still appear above your eye, then I suggest shock therapy. No WS, that doesn't involve sticking your finger into a plug socket….

Thanks for reading

Microchips

Let me guess 'Pop' :-P

You should always complete games. It's the only way to get ALL the possible enjoyment out of them.

i never complete most of my games anyway lol i still can't be bothered to complete FFX

Heh, not as bad as the typos of my own, but It's best if I leave them alone..

Sorry about the typing, i must have been swinging the keyboard above my head as i wrote that beast.

nice one microchips - very funny. I used to actually cry at games (when i was younger obviously) if i couldn't do them. I'd just grab a pillow and scream into. To this day, i get sulk if i can't do something in a game....it's all good fun though....or is it?

Microchips wrote:

> "I want to be a hippie and I want to get high..."?

If I remember correctly it was I Wanna Be A Hippy And I Wanna Get Stoned, Ganja, Marjuana... I wanna be a....... etc etc.

Then, I Wanna Get High, I Wanna Get High, I Wanna Get High, and I never knew why......

Cheers guys. :D

Muchas greatness this is.
I'm so damned glad you didn't post this yesterday....

Brilliant. Very good indeed, mate.