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It had been revealed by a shadowy figure at Nintendo that the release date for the Gamecube in Britain will be March 14th.
When asked about this date, and why the UK has had to wait so long for it after the rest of the world has already played the little thing, the Oriental figure wishing to ne known only as "Mr Miyagi" said, "Nothing to do with Xbox and Metal Gear Solid 2. Wax on Wax off"
Microsoft was sought for comment, and after a wait of almost 3 minutes, exec Steve Ballmer was released into the room whereapon he spent 2 minutes charging about like a Baboon with his ass-on-fire shouting "I LOVE THIS COMPANY! YEAH! I GOT 4 WORDS FOR YA! I LOVE THIS COMPANY YEAH!"
When pointed out that he actually used 5 words, Mr Gates was seen to smack his forehead with his hand and utter a soft "doh.."
Hideo Kojima was also asked about Nintendo's release date, where he smiled enigmatically and said "Raiden is not a stupid character, I spent years making this game. I lost my girlfriend and the use of my knees creating this game for you. Who the hell are you lot to criticise me? you make me sick and I hope you are all struck down by a mystery illness that renders you impotent and fiercely horny at the same time. Domo Arigato"
The only person available for comment on this release date was a little boy from Worcester called Brian, who had his head trapped in some railings.
Brian said "I don't care,please call the fire brigade"
So why have we in the UK had to wait some 4 months after the Japanese and North American release date?
Mr Miyagi explained:"You must become like water and flow around the stone".
Journalists pointed out this was utter crap, and Miyagi expounded on his theory: "Strength comes from within, not from here" *tapping his biceps*, "You learn to fight so that you do not have to."
At this point, Steve Ballmer tore off his face and was revealed to be none other than rival round-eye master John Kreese, who shouted "THERE SHALL BE NO FEAR IN MY DOJO!".
Ralph Maccio was unavailable for comment.
With Microsoft poised to launch a fresh attack on the console market, and with their marketing backing proving a sales winner already, Nintendo have resorted to name-calling and childish pranks to keep their profile high.
These include Shigsy hiring a stunt-plane to write "Gates is a poo-face" in the sky above Microsoft HQ and trying to impress by offering a range of colours for their non-existent console.
So March 14th approaches, Microsoft with their console, Konami with MGS2 and Nintendo with their Gamecube.
Who will win?
It would be wise to remember the words of a 20th century scholar in relation to this matter:
"Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free?"
It had been revealed by a shadowy figure at Nintendo that the release date for the Gamecube in Britain will be March 14th.
When asked about this date, and why the UK has had to wait so long for it after the rest of the world has already played the little thing, the Oriental figure wishing to ne known only as "Mr Miyagi" said, "Nothing to do with Xbox and Metal Gear Solid 2. Wax on Wax off"
Microsoft was sought for comment, and after a wait of almost 3 minutes, exec Steve Ballmer was released into the room whereapon he spent 2 minutes charging about like a Baboon with his ass-on-fire shouting "I LOVE THIS COMPANY! YEAH! I GOT 4 WORDS FOR YA! I LOVE THIS COMPANY YEAH!"
When pointed out that he actually used 5 words, Mr Gates was seen to smack his forehead with his hand and utter a soft "doh.."
Hideo Kojima was also asked about Nintendo's release date, where he smiled enigmatically and said "Raiden is not a stupid character, I spent years making this game. I lost my girlfriend and the use of my knees creating this game for you. Who the hell are you lot to criticise me? you make me sick and I hope you are all struck down by a mystery illness that renders you impotent and fiercely horny at the same time. Domo Arigato"
The only person available for comment on this release date was a little boy from Worcester called Brian, who had his head trapped in some railings.
Brian said "I don't care,please call the fire brigade"
So why have we in the UK had to wait some 4 months after the Japanese and North American release date?
Mr Miyagi explained:"You must become like water and flow around the stone".
Journalists pointed out this was utter crap, and Miyagi expounded on his theory: "Strength comes from within, not from here" *tapping his biceps*, "You learn to fight so that you do not have to."
At this point, Steve Ballmer tore off his face and was revealed to be none other than rival round-eye master John Kreese, who shouted "THERE SHALL BE NO FEAR IN MY DOJO!".
Ralph Maccio was unavailable for comment.
With Microsoft poised to launch a fresh attack on the console market, and with their marketing backing proving a sales winner already, Nintendo have resorted to name-calling and childish pranks to keep their profile high.
These include Shigsy hiring a stunt-plane to write "Gates is a poo-face" in the sky above Microsoft HQ and trying to impress by offering a range of colours for their non-existent console.
So March 14th approaches, Microsoft with their console, Konami with MGS2 and Nintendo with their Gamecube.
Who will win?
It would be wise to remember the words of a 20th century scholar in relation to this matter:
"Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free?"
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I'm not sure what's more amusing, the initial post, or all the stupid people that thought it was true!
Keep 'em coming Goaty!
Keep 'em coming Goaty!
misterhappy wrote:
But anyway..
*slaps head*
You
> possibly need to be a little less subtle (if that's actually possible) The
> influence of American culture is becoming more and more obvious. The once-famous
> British love of irony seems dead..
lol... to be fair, given that many of these forum memebers are between 10 and 12 (if you look in the favourite console and age topic) ... Abstract constructs probably arnt a major feature in their lives?
But anyway..
*slaps head*
You
> possibly need to be a little less subtle (if that's actually possible) The
> influence of American culture is becoming more and more obvious. The once-famous
> British love of irony seems dead..
lol... to be fair, given that many of these forum memebers are between 10 and 12 (if you look in the favourite console and age topic) ... Abstract constructs probably arnt a major feature in their lives?
½pint wrote:
> Is that true? Heh heh.
yes it is... just keep telling yourself that and taking the tablets and youll be fine...
slik ~_~
> Is that true? Heh heh.
yes it is... just keep telling yourself that and taking the tablets and youll be fine...
slik ~_~
Goatboy wrote:
> More people read this and miss the point.
Sigh. Don't bpther with clever jokes on these people. Very funny goatster!
> More people read this and miss the point.
Sigh. Don't bpther with clever jokes on these people. Very funny goatster!
Goatboy wrote:
> More people read this and miss the point.
But is that not the point?
> More people read this and miss the point.
But is that not the point?
More people read this and miss the point.
"I would have made one sexy chick!"
Why will no-one listen to me when I say the release date will be April 5th?!
Do I have that little a presence on the forums?!
Do I have that little a presence on the forums?!
Goatboy wrote:
> "Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free?"
Brodie Bruce will be remembered fondly. Apparently he's got a starring role in KS's next outing too.
But anyway..
*slaps head*
You possibly need to be a little less subtle (if that's actually possible) The influence of American culture is becoming more and more obvious. The once-famous British love of irony seems dead..
oh well, if you can't beat them you might as well join them..
Yeah March 14th... Woohoo!!
> "Why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free?"
Brodie Bruce will be remembered fondly. Apparently he's got a starring role in KS's next outing too.
But anyway..
*slaps head*
You possibly need to be a little less subtle (if that's actually possible) The influence of American culture is becoming more and more obvious. The once-famous British love of irony seems dead..
oh well, if you can't beat them you might as well join them..
Yeah March 14th... Woohoo!!
Is that true? Heh heh.
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