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The computing world was aghast today upon learning of the Gamecube being made entirely from straw. Those geeks with an already tenuous hold on reality slipped a further notch when revelations further included the genesis of the PS2 and the appearance of the PS3 at the “Obviously Lying Expo” held last week in some old person’s house in Droitwich.
Sony spokesperson Dave Ironbuns said to a bored and tired gaggle of journalists:
“Ok, the time has come to come clean. By which, I mean lie. You have heard of the evolution from the original Gaystation to the monolithic entity that is the PS2. Well, we lied.
There is no such thing as the emotion engine. We conned you and we totally got away with it. What you were told is the emotion engine is, in fact, the workings of the W.O.P.R.
You remember how Saddam Hussein got loads of PS2s to power a supercomputer?
Well that was true, but when he tried to launch global thermonuclear war, the W.O.P.R asked if he wouldn’t “prefer a nice game of chess”, before having a meltdown at playing tic-tac-toe.”
When questioned about this, Sony HQ produced their brains behind the PS2, Professor Falcon. He scared the journalists by buzz-bombing them with a radio-controlled Pterodactyl before shouting “Joshua” over and over.
An irate Steve Ballmer leaping about shouting, “I LOVE THIS COMPANY“ and ”OOK OOK” calmed down the scene.
Nintendo laughed like giddy children and Shigsy was seen to be waving like a girl at the news, until one lone voice reminded them of the “Made from Straw” fiasco. Upon hearing this, Shigsy painted his butt a nice fire engine red and shouted “No speakee English, go away. You very bad man”.
Journalists were confused and puzzled.
If learning of the PS2 true history, the crowds of nerdy journos were positively dulled by the announcement from Sony that it was, indeed, “Considering the PS3”. Loads of thick children danced about like pixies and proclaimed the death of the PS2, before they realised that this was called “evolution” and “a natural progression”.
Details remain sketchy about the PS3, but there have been some spoilers released.
These are currently known to be absolute falsehoods including:
It will be the size of a small country. Possibly Liechtenstein.
Launch titles include: Tekken 6, Ridge Racer 8 and Mukki Mukki Dancing (from Konami)
People have guessed at the appearance of the console, but Sony will only say “It bears resemblance to 80s tv icon Tommy Boyd”.
When questioned about this news, WWF star “The Rock” added little of interest.
Sony spokesperson Dave Ironbuns said to a bored and tired gaggle of journalists:
“Ok, the time has come to come clean. By which, I mean lie. You have heard of the evolution from the original Gaystation to the monolithic entity that is the PS2. Well, we lied.
There is no such thing as the emotion engine. We conned you and we totally got away with it. What you were told is the emotion engine is, in fact, the workings of the W.O.P.R.
You remember how Saddam Hussein got loads of PS2s to power a supercomputer?
Well that was true, but when he tried to launch global thermonuclear war, the W.O.P.R asked if he wouldn’t “prefer a nice game of chess”, before having a meltdown at playing tic-tac-toe.”
When questioned about this, Sony HQ produced their brains behind the PS2, Professor Falcon. He scared the journalists by buzz-bombing them with a radio-controlled Pterodactyl before shouting “Joshua” over and over.
An irate Steve Ballmer leaping about shouting, “I LOVE THIS COMPANY“ and ”OOK OOK” calmed down the scene.
Nintendo laughed like giddy children and Shigsy was seen to be waving like a girl at the news, until one lone voice reminded them of the “Made from Straw” fiasco. Upon hearing this, Shigsy painted his butt a nice fire engine red and shouted “No speakee English, go away. You very bad man”.
Journalists were confused and puzzled.
If learning of the PS2 true history, the crowds of nerdy journos were positively dulled by the announcement from Sony that it was, indeed, “Considering the PS3”. Loads of thick children danced about like pixies and proclaimed the death of the PS2, before they realised that this was called “evolution” and “a natural progression”.
Details remain sketchy about the PS3, but there have been some spoilers released.
These are currently known to be absolute falsehoods including:
It will be the size of a small country. Possibly Liechtenstein.
Launch titles include: Tekken 6, Ridge Racer 8 and Mukki Mukki Dancing (from Konami)
People have guessed at the appearance of the console, but Sony will only say “It bears resemblance to 80s tv icon Tommy Boyd”.
When questioned about this news, WWF star “The Rock” added little of interest.
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PS3? BAH!
Grand Theft Auto 7: Not Many Cars Left.
LOL, not many cars left, my cousin said thta they should do GTA Oxford or Birmingham!
But then again, why will the americans waist time on our citys, when they have big ones!
LOL, not many cars left, my cousin said thta they should do GTA Oxford or Birmingham!
But then again, why will the americans waist time on our citys, when they have big ones!
Meka Dragon wrote:
> misterhappy wrote:
> i don't know which is more funny, the original post or
> the fact that people
> actually start debating about the merits of
> X-cube-2
You won't be laughing when he starts World War 3, will you?
> Hey?
Will you?
No, I will be jailed for murder before that happens.
Murder him, kill myself. A good plan.
> misterhappy wrote:
> i don't know which is more funny, the original post or
> the fact that people
> actually start debating about the merits of
> X-cube-2
You won't be laughing when he starts World War 3, will you?
> Hey?
Will you?
No, I will be jailed for murder before that happens.
Murder him, kill myself. A good plan.
The PS3 will be the size of a small room, just small enough to avoid planning permission requirements, yet large enough for Sony engineers to need to survey your house first. It will cost in the region of one million US dollars at current levels of inflation and is designed to incorporate fully 3d technology. It will be black and there are plans to have a transparent one so everyone can laugh as you leap about in the room kicking ambling zombies that only you can see.
any ideas if the ps3 will be bigger then the xbox?
Bah, go back to your slow motion running on the spot, Meka :-D
misterhappy wrote:
> i don't know which is more funny, the original post or the fact that people
> actually start debating about the merits of X-cube-2
You won't be laughing when he starts World War 3, will you? Hey?
Will you?
> i don't know which is more funny, the original post or the fact that people
> actually start debating about the merits of X-cube-2
You won't be laughing when he starts World War 3, will you? Hey?
Will you?
i don't know which is more funny, the original post or the fact that people actually start debating about the merits of X-cube-2
sherman wrote:
> i once read somewhere the ps3 will be 1000 times more powerfull then the ps2.
Yeaaaaaah........ It will actually be 16 times the power.
> i once read somewhere the ps3 will be 1000 times more powerfull then the ps2.
Yeaaaaaah........ It will actually be 16 times the power.
sherman wrote:
> i once read somewhere the ps3 will be 1000 times more powerfull then the ps2.
Yes, but Mathew Broderick already has one, and he says the early games aren't using it's full power.
> i once read somewhere the ps3 will be 1000 times more powerfull then the ps2.
Yes, but Mathew Broderick already has one, and he says the early games aren't using it's full power.
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