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WARNING :: THIS POST MAY BE DEEMED OFFENSIVE. IT MAY ALSO CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS!
This *IS* Beyond Special Reserve 2! If you haven't read Beyond Special Reserve, I suggest you go quickkly do so now. I popped it. And be kind, it was my first Gameaday. :c)
----------------------------------------------------------
Right, I was thinking…(waits for the gasps!)…what you forum members do when other then posting on SR…what you do for a hobby, or maybe a living. So, here goes! These are jokes, okay?
----------------------------------------------------------
The Random Generator has been at it again…
That was last time, this is this time. So, you could be taken Beyond Special Reserve. Exciting, huh? Hur hur.
This time it’s going to be different. I’m going to select what, 10 people, to be taken in the journey. Then, I’ll have 4 not so important journeys beyond SR, for the people with ironic names.
----------------------------------------------------------
Hercules :: Now Herc was featured in the original Beyond Special Reserve, so sory if you get bored, but the Random Generator has found some more info about the kid. Known to some as Matt, Herc is a very funny guy. His smile makes me crack up laughing, which is erm, quite odd. The other day, I spoke to him. That also made me laugh. His words of wisdom were, “leetle poonk”, words to which the English know as ‘little punk’. That was the first piece of evidence I received. The second was when he showed me ‘his’ watch. “Pfft”, I said. That’s quite obviously stolen. Therefore, I am lead to believe that my Random Generator lied last time. Herc is no mucho-man, or no world-class footballer. No no no, he is actually…a Scouser! :c)
Doughnut Monster :: Buah, it’s Doughnut’s turn to go into the Random Generator. This is quite surprising. Scott is the lord of the rings (Shush, all you dirty minded people) with his cool, modern name. He’s bossy, throws his weight around, likes slapping people, heck, the list goes on! Two links already to the job in which my Random Generator will display. Anyway, just picture for a second…Scott wearing a helmet, some shades and riding on some motorcycle. In the words of my Random Generator…”Tonight DW, Scott is going to be…an American Cop!” Yes, he’s English; yes he has no interest in being a cop, but what the heck, that doesn’t matter. Doughnuts, bossiness, it all pieces together, no? Okay, I’ll shut up now. Heh.
BEARDS :: I find BEARDS really scary. Dunno about you, I just do. I don’t know if it’s that big hairy face of his (the beard, obviously) or simply something else. Anyway. BEARDS has made a huge impact since joining Special Reserve. Taking over the spot of ‘Most Popular Staffie’ (arguably), threating to ban yours truly (*cough* damn you…) and even posting saying whom the spammers are, and who he likes/dislikes. BEARDS is undoubtedly good at his job, whatever that is. I mean, c’mon, he scares the kids away. Surely that’s a plus. And he bans the spamming Newbies, again, that’s great. Beyond Special Reserve 2 is actually harder, including all the main staffies last time, leaving none this time. So, therefore, with BEARDS being one of the few staffies included in this post, I had better be nice. BEARDS is…(okay, I’m not gunna name a job) BEARDS is…probably going to ban me after reading this. *Coughs* Hehe. Nah, I’ll include a job/hobby. BEARDS is some really p’d off guy, hates his job, hates his colleagues (hur hur), you know, that kinda guy.
Tóm :: Hey, that little line above the o means a lot of difference. He’s no ordinary Tom, Thomas or Tommy; he’s Tóm! T…Ó…M! Anyway…I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise. I’d like to apologise for teasing you, when Herc and me have the webcam convos, and all that. Y’know, just because you can’t join in with the fun etc, it’s not nice me teasing you. And you’re right; we should get a room…for the webcam convos! Anyway, I’ll cut the crap. Tóm, you’re a cool guy and all, great to talk to, but your future has no purpose. Don’t fret, the good old Random Generator has got just the job, something you could easily make a living on. “The following contest is for the WWE Championship…making his way to the ring, from Dudley, England, weighing 500lbs (hehe), the WWE Champion…Tóm!” Indeed, that’s all true and stuff…Tóm, you’d make a great wrestler. Matt would love to see you rolling about with other men.
Bazzman :: Poor Bazzman…he’s been here 639 days and still had no Gameaday to his name. No, that’s all true, my sources NEVER lie. Heck, did you know that 90% of my sources are true? Did you also know that 75% of all surveys are lies? LIES I TELLS YA. *Coughs* Anyhoo, you gotta feel for the laddie. Or is it lady? Or even lady? Gah, I never know. But seriously, this is gunna cheer him up. You’ve got your Superman, Spiderman, Batman and even your Garycane (DON’T ASK!). What’s that whooshing by? Oh, why if it isn’t our newest superhero…BAZZMAN! With his flying powers, his super strength and even his eyes, which burn through metal, this superhero is out to save the world! He’ll beat the baddies, each and every one of them, single-handedly. Now, by the power of Garycane, I demand this guy goes and wins Gameaday! BAZZMAN…FROM ONE SUPERHERO TO ANOTHER…YOU CAN DO IT, FOR YOURSELF, AND IF NOT, FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!
Pumba :: Now I hate this kid, it goes without saying, but I still put him through the journey. At first, I got 0 results. I’m stuck. Oh dear. But wait a minute; I’ve got it! You’ve all tried the crisps ‘Pom-Bar’, no? Ah come on, you’ve at least heard of them. Surely. Bah. Well, I’ll wait five minutes so that you can quickly run down to your local Londis, Costcutter or Spar. They come in red and blue packets. *Waits*. Back? Good. Pretend to speak using a different accent to your current one. Pumba…Pomba…Pom Bar! Got it? I’ve just got it. You guessed it, Scouser accent again! And Lord, we’ve got enough Scousers on SR…so therefore Pumba is already a Regular on the forums, someone who has signed up with another account. HERCULES…GET BACK HERE! Yes, Hercules is that annoying Newbie known to some as Pumba!
Larrykins :: Larrykins…latest edition to the WWE Forum. We’re so kind there; we even threw her a party for her 18th. I hate her personally. Why? Because she teases us all with her fancy writing styles and her amazing staffie skills. She even uses Smilies, damn her. (Hehe, I love her really) But, she has a use. Besides working at SR, she does a lot of other stuff in her spare time, like gardening, fishing, cooking and cleaning. But, she does something far FAR worse! She…she…SHE’S A BLOKE. Not only have I caught her eating Yorkie bars (even though they now do them in pink, girly colours) whilst fishing, I caught her asking the guys at SR for…A POT NOODLE! She asked he workmates for ‘the slág of all snacks’. Truly shocking. Sorry Larry, but the truth is out there now. You can get rid of that wig, take off the make-up and reveal your true self.
Ineedsleep :: Buah, time to feel sorry for Ineedsleep, simply because heneedssleep. Anyway, I’ll start by looking at his name. It’s obvious that he needs sleep, no? Why would he need sleep? Unless he is working 24/7, getting paid a tin of beans and a turnip and being slave driven, he is not tired or anything, and his name is a bunch of lies. But, I believe that he is tired, and therefore is working 24/7, getting paid a…you get the drift. Now what job could possibly make you work 24…what job could make you do all that stuff for very little reward? GAME…possibly…maybe…no…hmmm; I give up. Well…courtesy of my Random Generator, I can officially reveal that Ineedsleep is…the newest Special Reserve recruit. Damn Tonty and his slave driving ways. *Shakes fist* :c)
Drunk Cow :: Drunk Cow (…also known as Jade Goody) is a very fitting name. Dunno why, just is. Basically, he’s an American, from Florida (says it all really), funny, typical teenage Yank (better say something nice or he’ll probably shoot me…like I said, typical Yank). He’s a popular lad, everybody on SR likes him (except Mandatare, who I’m sure loves him), you know, the kind of person that is generally nice to be around. Anyway, I was away camping once, drinking some milk (which was co-incidentally names Medina, Joe’s surname) like you do, before I spat it back out. “Eurgh, mum, this milk’s off, tastes of beer”. I sat there, thinking away. All that was going through my head was “drunk cow”. Now I know, from this day forward, that I have tasted gone off milk, all because of Drunk Cow. Damn him.
Kyz22 :: Last of the main ones then. Kyle, Kylie, Kyz, call him what you like. You know him, the dude that came runner-up in the most recent Notable Elections. Now, I got inside information on him. This is probably ALL incorrect, but hey, so is everything you’ve already reading this post (did I just say that?). Anyway… you all know Kat Slater, yeah? The infamous Slater family, Eastenders, you know? Bah. Well, just imagine Kat Slater, laying there with Anthony Trueman (I may be behind with the storylines here…), her hot naked body just sinking into the bed sheets. Just imagine it. Flowers around the candle-lit room, peaceful, and everything. Just as he is about fiddle with her moving parts, she shouts “GIS A KYZ”. Hur hur, he’s a Londoner, he just can’t spell ‘kiss’, that’s all.
----------------------------------------------------------
This is what my Random Generator picked up just erm…randomly!
----------------------------------------------------------
Muddatrucker :: Rumour has it that he is owned by BEARDS, our favourite staffie. Mudda’ sounds like ‘mother’ and ‘trucker’ sounds like…yeah, that word. *Cough* MUCKER *cough*
Michael 1 :: Are you telling me there’s more Michael’s? AND I THOUGHT THERE WAS A
GOD!
Update2.01 :: I’ll update you later with what my Random Generator said.
Hybrid Valves :: Okay, I haven’t put Hybrid through the Random Generator. Instead, I have decided to apologise. No way does he look like a transvestite. It was early in the morning, that’s my excuse. Accept my apology *wipes away tear*
----------------------------------------------------------
I’ve been DW, and this had been the Random Generator with Beyond Special Reserve 2!
----------------------------------------------------------
This *IS* Beyond Special Reserve 2! If you haven't read Beyond Special Reserve, I suggest you go quickkly do so now. I popped it. And be kind, it was my first Gameaday. :c)
----------------------------------------------------------
Right, I was thinking…(waits for the gasps!)…what you forum members do when other then posting on SR…what you do for a hobby, or maybe a living. So, here goes! These are jokes, okay?
----------------------------------------------------------
The Random Generator has been at it again…
That was last time, this is this time. So, you could be taken Beyond Special Reserve. Exciting, huh? Hur hur.
This time it’s going to be different. I’m going to select what, 10 people, to be taken in the journey. Then, I’ll have 4 not so important journeys beyond SR, for the people with ironic names.
----------------------------------------------------------
Hercules :: Now Herc was featured in the original Beyond Special Reserve, so sory if you get bored, but the Random Generator has found some more info about the kid. Known to some as Matt, Herc is a very funny guy. His smile makes me crack up laughing, which is erm, quite odd. The other day, I spoke to him. That also made me laugh. His words of wisdom were, “leetle poonk”, words to which the English know as ‘little punk’. That was the first piece of evidence I received. The second was when he showed me ‘his’ watch. “Pfft”, I said. That’s quite obviously stolen. Therefore, I am lead to believe that my Random Generator lied last time. Herc is no mucho-man, or no world-class footballer. No no no, he is actually…a Scouser! :c)
Doughnut Monster :: Buah, it’s Doughnut’s turn to go into the Random Generator. This is quite surprising. Scott is the lord of the rings (Shush, all you dirty minded people) with his cool, modern name. He’s bossy, throws his weight around, likes slapping people, heck, the list goes on! Two links already to the job in which my Random Generator will display. Anyway, just picture for a second…Scott wearing a helmet, some shades and riding on some motorcycle. In the words of my Random Generator…”Tonight DW, Scott is going to be…an American Cop!” Yes, he’s English; yes he has no interest in being a cop, but what the heck, that doesn’t matter. Doughnuts, bossiness, it all pieces together, no? Okay, I’ll shut up now. Heh.
BEARDS :: I find BEARDS really scary. Dunno about you, I just do. I don’t know if it’s that big hairy face of his (the beard, obviously) or simply something else. Anyway. BEARDS has made a huge impact since joining Special Reserve. Taking over the spot of ‘Most Popular Staffie’ (arguably), threating to ban yours truly (*cough* damn you…) and even posting saying whom the spammers are, and who he likes/dislikes. BEARDS is undoubtedly good at his job, whatever that is. I mean, c’mon, he scares the kids away. Surely that’s a plus. And he bans the spamming Newbies, again, that’s great. Beyond Special Reserve 2 is actually harder, including all the main staffies last time, leaving none this time. So, therefore, with BEARDS being one of the few staffies included in this post, I had better be nice. BEARDS is…(okay, I’m not gunna name a job) BEARDS is…probably going to ban me after reading this. *Coughs* Hehe. Nah, I’ll include a job/hobby. BEARDS is some really p’d off guy, hates his job, hates his colleagues (hur hur), you know, that kinda guy.
Tóm :: Hey, that little line above the o means a lot of difference. He’s no ordinary Tom, Thomas or Tommy; he’s Tóm! T…Ó…M! Anyway…I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise. I’d like to apologise for teasing you, when Herc and me have the webcam convos, and all that. Y’know, just because you can’t join in with the fun etc, it’s not nice me teasing you. And you’re right; we should get a room…for the webcam convos! Anyway, I’ll cut the crap. Tóm, you’re a cool guy and all, great to talk to, but your future has no purpose. Don’t fret, the good old Random Generator has got just the job, something you could easily make a living on. “The following contest is for the WWE Championship…making his way to the ring, from Dudley, England, weighing 500lbs (hehe), the WWE Champion…Tóm!” Indeed, that’s all true and stuff…Tóm, you’d make a great wrestler. Matt would love to see you rolling about with other men.
Bazzman :: Poor Bazzman…he’s been here 639 days and still had no Gameaday to his name. No, that’s all true, my sources NEVER lie. Heck, did you know that 90% of my sources are true? Did you also know that 75% of all surveys are lies? LIES I TELLS YA. *Coughs* Anyhoo, you gotta feel for the laddie. Or is it lady? Or even lady? Gah, I never know. But seriously, this is gunna cheer him up. You’ve got your Superman, Spiderman, Batman and even your Garycane (DON’T ASK!). What’s that whooshing by? Oh, why if it isn’t our newest superhero…BAZZMAN! With his flying powers, his super strength and even his eyes, which burn through metal, this superhero is out to save the world! He’ll beat the baddies, each and every one of them, single-handedly. Now, by the power of Garycane, I demand this guy goes and wins Gameaday! BAZZMAN…FROM ONE SUPERHERO TO ANOTHER…YOU CAN DO IT, FOR YOURSELF, AND IF NOT, FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND!
Pumba :: Now I hate this kid, it goes without saying, but I still put him through the journey. At first, I got 0 results. I’m stuck. Oh dear. But wait a minute; I’ve got it! You’ve all tried the crisps ‘Pom-Bar’, no? Ah come on, you’ve at least heard of them. Surely. Bah. Well, I’ll wait five minutes so that you can quickly run down to your local Londis, Costcutter or Spar. They come in red and blue packets. *Waits*. Back? Good. Pretend to speak using a different accent to your current one. Pumba…Pomba…Pom Bar! Got it? I’ve just got it. You guessed it, Scouser accent again! And Lord, we’ve got enough Scousers on SR…so therefore Pumba is already a Regular on the forums, someone who has signed up with another account. HERCULES…GET BACK HERE! Yes, Hercules is that annoying Newbie known to some as Pumba!
Larrykins :: Larrykins…latest edition to the WWE Forum. We’re so kind there; we even threw her a party for her 18th. I hate her personally. Why? Because she teases us all with her fancy writing styles and her amazing staffie skills. She even uses Smilies, damn her. (Hehe, I love her really) But, she has a use. Besides working at SR, she does a lot of other stuff in her spare time, like gardening, fishing, cooking and cleaning. But, she does something far FAR worse! She…she…SHE’S A BLOKE. Not only have I caught her eating Yorkie bars (even though they now do them in pink, girly colours) whilst fishing, I caught her asking the guys at SR for…A POT NOODLE! She asked he workmates for ‘the slág of all snacks’. Truly shocking. Sorry Larry, but the truth is out there now. You can get rid of that wig, take off the make-up and reveal your true self.
Ineedsleep :: Buah, time to feel sorry for Ineedsleep, simply because heneedssleep. Anyway, I’ll start by looking at his name. It’s obvious that he needs sleep, no? Why would he need sleep? Unless he is working 24/7, getting paid a tin of beans and a turnip and being slave driven, he is not tired or anything, and his name is a bunch of lies. But, I believe that he is tired, and therefore is working 24/7, getting paid a…you get the drift. Now what job could possibly make you work 24…what job could make you do all that stuff for very little reward? GAME…possibly…maybe…no…hmmm; I give up. Well…courtesy of my Random Generator, I can officially reveal that Ineedsleep is…the newest Special Reserve recruit. Damn Tonty and his slave driving ways. *Shakes fist* :c)
Drunk Cow :: Drunk Cow (…also known as Jade Goody) is a very fitting name. Dunno why, just is. Basically, he’s an American, from Florida (says it all really), funny, typical teenage Yank (better say something nice or he’ll probably shoot me…like I said, typical Yank). He’s a popular lad, everybody on SR likes him (except Mandatare, who I’m sure loves him), you know, the kind of person that is generally nice to be around. Anyway, I was away camping once, drinking some milk (which was co-incidentally names Medina, Joe’s surname) like you do, before I spat it back out. “Eurgh, mum, this milk’s off, tastes of beer”. I sat there, thinking away. All that was going through my head was “drunk cow”. Now I know, from this day forward, that I have tasted gone off milk, all because of Drunk Cow. Damn him.
Kyz22 :: Last of the main ones then. Kyle, Kylie, Kyz, call him what you like. You know him, the dude that came runner-up in the most recent Notable Elections. Now, I got inside information on him. This is probably ALL incorrect, but hey, so is everything you’ve already reading this post (did I just say that?). Anyway… you all know Kat Slater, yeah? The infamous Slater family, Eastenders, you know? Bah. Well, just imagine Kat Slater, laying there with Anthony Trueman (I may be behind with the storylines here…), her hot naked body just sinking into the bed sheets. Just imagine it. Flowers around the candle-lit room, peaceful, and everything. Just as he is about fiddle with her moving parts, she shouts “GIS A KYZ”. Hur hur, he’s a Londoner, he just can’t spell ‘kiss’, that’s all.
----------------------------------------------------------
This is what my Random Generator picked up just erm…randomly!
----------------------------------------------------------
Muddatrucker :: Rumour has it that he is owned by BEARDS, our favourite staffie. Mudda’ sounds like ‘mother’ and ‘trucker’ sounds like…yeah, that word. *Cough* MUCKER *cough*
Michael 1 :: Are you telling me there’s more Michael’s? AND I THOUGHT THERE WAS A
GOD!
Update2.01 :: I’ll update you later with what my Random Generator said.
Hybrid Valves :: Okay, I haven’t put Hybrid through the Random Generator. Instead, I have decided to apologise. No way does he look like a transvestite. It was early in the morning, that’s my excuse. Accept my apology *wipes away tear*
----------------------------------------------------------
I’ve been DW, and this had been the Random Generator with Beyond Special Reserve 2!
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Fanks Drunkeh. :c)
You gave away my real name:'(
But that was entertaining DW. I liked mine and BEARDS's and if you don't aswell....I'll shoot your hamster!:-o
But that was entertaining DW. I liked mine and BEARDS's and if you don't aswell....I'll shoot your hamster!:-o
Ineedsleep wrote:
> Just gets the odd fact slightly askew.
That is totally what happens!
> Just gets the odd fact slightly askew.
That is totally what happens!
* the odd fact *
DW wrote:
> Ta for the reply. Just remember, my Random Generator never lies*
Just gets to odd fact slightly askew. I understand.
> Ta for the reply. Just remember, my Random Generator never lies*
Just gets to odd fact slightly askew. I understand.
Hercules! wrote:
> Bah, damn you DW!
>
:cD
> But of course, you said it was a joke... so nerrr.
It was a joke...BUT...my Random Generator never lies.
>
> Im not a scouser, im from St.Helens, which isnt scouse-land.
> Therefore, I am not scouse.
Who are you trying to convince...me or yourself?
> Im a phoney, i'll admit. But im a good phoney.
> And no, im not a thief and dont have god damn fetishishsesblah.
Suuuure. So seeing Tóm rolling around with other men isn't your all time dream?
>
> Anyway, twas funny indeed.
>
> Well done DW...
Fanks.
> Bah, damn you DW!
>
:cD
> But of course, you said it was a joke... so nerrr.
It was a joke...BUT...my Random Generator never lies.
>
> Im not a scouser, im from St.Helens, which isnt scouse-land.
> Therefore, I am not scouse.
Who are you trying to convince...me or yourself?
> Im a phoney, i'll admit. But im a good phoney.
> And no, im not a thief and dont have god damn fetishishsesblah.
Suuuure. So seeing Tóm rolling around with other men isn't your all time dream?
>
> Anyway, twas funny indeed.
>
> Well done DW...
Fanks.
It's like the machine in Room 101. I pop their name in, pull the handle and see what results I get.
DW wrote:
> Azul :: Now, even after I spent two hours turning off my Random
> Generator, Azul still insists I do one for him. So…on goes the
> RG…*waits*.
So, what the hell is a Random Generator?
> Azul :: Now, even after I spent two hours turning off my Random
> Generator, Azul still insists I do one for him. So…on goes the
> RG…*waits*.
So, what the hell is a Random Generator?
Bah, damn you DW!
But of course, you said it was a joke... so nerrr.
Im not a scouser, im from St.Helens, which isnt scouse-land. Therefore, I am not scouse.
Im a phoney, i'll admit. But im a good phoney.
And no, im not a thief and dont have god damn fetishishsesblah.
Anyway, twas funny indeed.
Well done DW...
But of course, you said it was a joke... so nerrr.
Im not a scouser, im from St.Helens, which isnt scouse-land. Therefore, I am not scouse.
Im a phoney, i'll admit. But im a good phoney.
And no, im not a thief and dont have god damn fetishishsesblah.
Anyway, twas funny indeed.
Well done DW...
Wahey, brilliant post DW, since I am in it.
Good stuff really, though.
:-D
Good stuff really, though.
:-D
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