Viewing Thread:
"Do games influence behaviour?"

No.
Or, if you're stupid, yes.

Rockstar were recently interrogated by The Daily Mail before they launched their weekly "Ban This Sick Filth" campaign. Having contacted Chris Morris for an interview but being roundly told to "jam their nosebeak up their chute and mong off", they settled for hassling the company responsible for Grand Theft Auto 3 and the upcoming "State of Emergency"
What follows is the outline for the article, to be under the 12-point banner headline:
"IS THIS THE SICKEST GAME IN THE WORLD EVER?"

---

Games today are far removed from the halycon days of Connect 4 and Hangman.
These days, young people or "children" derive entertainment from mindless murder and mayhem on what are known as "video games consoles".
To you or I, close-minded adults that believe the age of consent for homosexuals should be 42 and that England still rules the world, video games are a waste of time.
Time better spent worshipping the Royal Family (12 page report on Prince William's new sunglasses by Nigel Dempster in next Sunday's "Mail on Sunday")

Grand Theft Auto is a prime example of the degenerate "entertainment" that "kids" seek these days. Surely, having played this game once, it is only a matter of minutes until some poor little child (obviously white and middle-classed, otherwise it wouldn't be a tragedy) will emulate the behaviour on screen.
We spoke to Rockstar about our concerns, and once the laughter had died down, they agreed to speak to us.

"It's a game" said Mr Bloke from Rockstar, "You would have to be terminally stupid to think it was real-life simulation."
Well we at the Daily Mail think that your children need protecting from the menaces of today's social ills.
So do not let your children play this vile game, as it will lead to them trying to board subway trains, cross roads and shoot Triad gang-members with rocket-launchers.

Rockstar said "Look, it's a cert 18 and that's for a reason. Now go away please, we're trying to read a book and evolve."
Reading a book, or WORSHIPPING THE DEVIL?
It is a simple path from playing video-games to dancing naked in the worship of the Dark Lord, and The Daily Mail is here to protect you.

Keep your children in at all times, do not let them play videogames. Instead, let them watch the news with genocide and racial murder on a scale not seen since the 100 years war. Or entertain them with soap operas like "Eastenders" (a tale of simple cockney folk), a programme that has had plotlines concerning rape, incest, domestic violence and fratricide all before the watershed.

We believe all video games are evil.
Tomorrow, "Why women are evil and probably witches"

Report by U.P.Tight

I wouldnt worry about it, Ben. I've been worshipping the devil since long before I was gaming.

hey just to let you know due to playing video games for about 12 years i'm now worshipping the devil so if you all wanna come to my house tomorrow then we can have a big old festival praising the big red guy.

*oops shouldn't have said that now the daily mail going to read that and tomorrow going have a big headline COMPUTER GAMES MAKE KIDS WORSHIP THE DEVIL* (though i still believe Mario is the spawn of satan)

Slightly off at a tangent, but this made me laugh so much I nearly swallowed my own eyeballs.

During the Brasseye paedophile scandal, the Sun (bastion of journalistic integrity that it is) had an article on one page about how sick Brasseye and Morris were. On the other page, was an article, including a very large picture, about Charlotte Church. The point of the article was that Charlotte had gone to an awards ceremony, wearing a dress which showed a lot of cleavage. The headline read “Charlotte’s looking ‘chest’ swell”.
She was 15 at the time.

Oh how I laughed

The quality of its writing is good?

We are talking about a newspaper that once dedicated page 3 to a story about Jerry Hall... wait for it... going shopping at the supermarket. The drama! The earth-shattering relevance! Jerry Hall goes shopping. Wow. The mind-blowing implications of such a story make the possibility of nuclear war between India and Pakistan seem entirely irrelevant in the greater scheme of things.

back in the summer i wrote a long article on the mails coverage of the brass eye incidident. The daily mail appeals to women inparticular andgives rubbish arguments which adults often believe. Brass eye was hailed as a brilliant satire only weeks before by the paper in question but was the sickest tv show ever later. It is so fickle it annoys me but i still read it as the quality of the writing is surprisingly good even if the subject is useless

The Daily Mail:
Where England is a green and pleasant land, Greece is a "3rd world fly-blown country" and Chris Morris is the anti-christ.

And Baz Bamigboye is clueless but never rude to celebrities.

monkey_man wrote:
> I've spent ages looking for the missing frame that
> contains the punchline.

That is so so true.

The Daily Mail is the most annoying paper on the face of the planet. And what is worst is that adults actually believe it. The amount of times my parents have read articles on computers are the toys of satan and gotten all het up about me sing the computer is incredible.

One of my ambitions is to work at the Daily Mail and subvert them, turning them into a paragon of the gutter press. I also want to be a script writer for Eastenders so I can kill off one of the characters by having him realise that he is actually on a soap and that he cannot leave Walford and that there are cameras everywhere. Then he gets assassinated by the director. Then Alistair bloody McGowan used the idea in a sketch..

Since I played Street Fighter II Special Edition on the Megadrive, almost nine years ago, I became this wild Street Fighting hero, by the name of Ryu. I was in my room, kicking and punching in the air, with the music theme in the background. Was I crazy or what! A little bit of a fan, I guess you could say. But then again, I was only ten.

Joking aside, I do actually hate the daily Mail. That is why I buy it every day. They LOVE the Royal Family and what Goaty said is so close to the truth it's not even funny. They even started an appeal to ban all things Greek when those idiot planspotters got themselves locked away. It's the beatchiest newspaper as well. They have a column called 'wicked whispers', and it's supposed to be an insight into the world of celebrity, but it's more a celebration of stupidity.
Fred Bassett is fun though. I've spent ages looking for the missing frame that contains the punchline.

I think this one tops both of the shock news threads..

My story is a very sad one. I played too many old games, where facial expressions did not change. I grew up on games where characters constantly smiled even when dying in hot boiling lava. The tragic result was MrHappy, a person who would smile even when being sadistically tortured.

I blame Mario. That satanic little plumber has a lot to answer for.