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"A day in the life of Insane Bartender"

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Tue 04/03/03 at 16:38
Regular
Posts: 787
Insane Bartender wakes up one sunny morning to be greeted by daddy Bill Gates. He’s made breakfast for his special friend IB. Insane realises it is the same old [email protected], but Bill’s been feeding him the same [email protected] for years and he doesn’t want to offend him.

Next he gets out of bed and checks that the e-mails he sent to himself last night are in the inbox. Excited by the fact he manage to e-mail himself successfully he opens them up only to discover to his horror the message is now in American, at this point he has a tantrum and calls daddy Bill to sort out his computer. Bill say’s he needs to upgrade to Windows XP and that he would buy the software for little IB as long as he realised that it would take all his pocket money for the next year. IB say’s “thanks daddy you are so good to me”

Later that day when IB gets back from kinda garden (sorry that’s American) he tells daddy Bill that kids have been picking on him calling him “geek” Bill try's to comfort his son and say’s that he too got called names at school, but look where he is now, just because you are a geek doesn’t mean your not interesting, just different.

Later that day Bill decides to take little IB to Mcdonalds to cheer him up on the way there they pop into the local PC World store to get IB’s copy of Window XP. IB is so excited about getting Windows XP, until daddy Bill tells him it is gonna cost all his Birthday and Christmas presents to upgrade his PC to run XP (Bargin).

Having got all the equipment, IB and Bill go to Mcdonalds. In the car park Bill reverses into someone and jars IB’s neck, one of the staff ask IB if he is ok he replies “I will be alright I am used to crashes” my dad is head of Microsoft.

Back home after a busy day and IB is allowed to stay up till 8pm tonight because it is a Friday night, so he fires up his GC and plays on Mario 2052, but the time carry’s on well past 8pm and Bill comes up the stairs “IB I hope you are not playing with that plumber in your bed” I have told you about that you know those games are for older children from 7 to 12 years old.

Now you can stay up half an hour longer and play on your MS train simulator that’s much more interesting and educational, then carry on reading that book.

Later that night IB has a nightmare that he was a PC nerd that knew to many big words and that his dad was Bill Gates and the closest he got to women was under his pillow.

Until daddy Bill woke him and the truth of the reality dawned.
Wed 05/03/03 at 12:46
"For the horde!!!!"
Posts: 3,656
Top score wrote:
> idlewild wrote:
>
> Best post I have seen since I have been here. If you don't get one
> it
> is a tradgedy.
>
> Well done mate someone that is appreciative of the more creative
> amongst us.

my sides are splitting at the stupidity of that reply.
Wed 05/03/03 at 12:07
Regular
Posts: 463
idlewild wrote:

Best post I have seen since I have been here. If you don't get one it
is a tradgedy.

Well done mate someone that is appreciative of the more creative amongst us.
Tue 04/03/03 at 21:53
Regular
"sdomehtongng"
Posts: 23,695
Top score wrote:
> Naughty Naughty IB has never bought an offical MS product does that
> mean that your software is unoffical then.

> What would daddy Bill say?

---

He would say, "Well done my son, you've bought a Mac."
Tue 04/03/03 at 21:19
Regular
"¬_¬"
Posts: 3,110
Kindergarten - German.

Idiot.
Tue 04/03/03 at 21:12
Regular
"Black pepper?"
Posts: 702
Great...
Tue 04/03/03 at 21:11
"For the horde!!!!"
Posts: 3,656
Top score wrote:
> I reckon I should get a GAD for this post.

congratulations Top score you have won Gimp A Day
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:56
Regular
"Festivus!"
Posts: 6,228
Top score wrote:
> I reckon I should get a GAD for this post.

Best post I have seen since I have been here. If you don't get one it is a tradgedy.
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:54
Regular
"Festivus!"
Posts: 6,228
A day in the life of top score -

9 P.M. -Wake up
9.05 Find PS2 sales figures
9.10 Get sexually excited
9.15 'Relieve' himself
9.20look at figures again
9.25 Get sexually excited
9.30 'Relieve' Himself

Continue for serveral hours.
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:51
Regular
"MildlyAmusing.co.uk"
Posts: 5,029
Top score wrote:
> Naughty Naughty IB has never bought an offical MS product does that
> mean that your software is unoffical then.
>
> What would daddy Bill say.

You don't pay attention to what he says, do you?

As I recall, win 98 came with his computer (I think(, and Win XP was bought for him as a present.

-IB fan #1
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:39
Regular
"QPR 1974"
Posts: 2,539
maddmun wrote:
> A day in the life of Top Score:
>

The preferred version

9.00 Wakes up, walk on to street, gets hit by a crappy white car, which is the vehicle counterpart of his life, guts, organs, urine sprayed all over the walkway, while bystanders laugh at his patheticness.

10.00 Top scores funeral, the vicar urinates on his open corpse, as he hasn't visited the toilet since sunday. Vicar quits job, as he as more potential being a prostitute.

11.00 ...

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