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"Best Chirstmas Present Ever!"

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Tue 25/12/01 at 07:47
Regular
Posts: 787
It was this morning when I woke up and bounded down the stairs into the living room.
Along with my two brothers, I tore away the wrappings off the various presents, various things ranging from Board games to wrist weights.

I was only when all the other presents had been opened that we saw the last one.
One big present, and it was to all 3 of us.

The ultimate gaming gift, so it turned out.

A “Playstation 2” you might think.
In which case you’d be wrong.

A Gamecube? Nope, even better than that (infact it’ll compliment the Gamecube quite nicely when I finally get one).

The box that this gift came in was even too big for an Xbox!!
It wasn’t a game or a joypad or anything like that…
It was something that even Special Reserve doesn’t sell.

We opened the box and found in it, a Gamesplayer.



You heard me right.
After all this time we’ve owned the N64, my 2 brothers and I, we were always stuck with 3 players. Being an odd number, it made teams game impossible and it wasn't as fun as with four players. We invited friends round to fill the gap, but they’re all casual mainstreamers, and aren’t good enough to put up a decent fight.
Now we’d been given a fourth player, a new sibling, a new dimension to the multiplayer fun.

I took the Gamesplayer out of the box and put him on the Sofa.
I pulled out the instruction manual and read it.

---

The Gamesplayer.
The RI unit. (Real Intelligence)
The essential multiplayer component

Trained in Playstation, N64, Dreamcast and Playstation 2.
Designed to learn Gamecube and Xbox.

Follow guidelines to keep your Gamesplayer in tip top condition.

---

I turned the page.

---

Instructions

Feed three times a day.
Train regularly to keep your Gamesplayer in good shape.

Your Gamesplayer is toilet trained as well as capable of surviving in it’s cage.

DO NOT under any circumstances let it get hold of a deep single player game.

Keep it away from Zelda and Final Fantasy or it will be inactive until it completes them.
Often a long time.

For any problems, call the helpline.

---



I put the book down, are the 3 of us (my brothers and myself) took our Gamesplayer upstairs and tested his N64 skills.

In Mario Kart and F-Zero he lapped us, he shot us in Perfect Dark and Goldeneye.
We managed to beat him on Smash Brothers, but only when all 3 of us ganged up on him.
This Gamesplayer was the real deal.

I think that Special Reserve should stock these Gamesplayers as they are essential to anyone serious about multiplayer gaming.
You could put them in N64 and Gamecube bundles with pads and games like Smash brothers.
That would REALLY pull the punters.

I certainly know what I’m getting Grix for his next birthday…





But remember kids, a Gamesplayer is for life, not just for Christmas.







(PS, all this is 100% true, and so is the fact that Your Honour is actually Wookiee Monster)

;-D

Merry Christmas.
Wed 26/12/01 at 17:11
Regular
Posts: 16,548
I might purchase one of these. My sister is annoying and a new sibling might be just the ticket. Does it shout film quotes? ;-)
Wed 26/12/01 at 13:36
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Strafex wrote:

"It was a joke..."

I grinned all the way through the topic. It was only when I scrolled down and read the conclusion of the aftermath that I laughed. :0)

Taking themselves FAR too seriously, I would say. :0)

Merry Christmas everyone.
Tue 25/12/01 at 21:40
Regular
Posts: 9,848
It was a joke...

A Gamesplayer was a person. A human bred to play games.

Didn't you see where it said "a new sibling" and how I refered to it as a him?

The instructions also said toilet trained and to be kept in a cage...
I meant to put "feed 3 times a day" but I must've forgotten that bit.
And if Artificial intelligence (AI) is programmed intelligence, then real intelligence must be...



And as you should all know, Your Honour is NOT Wookiee Monster...
YH is Wookiee (who is probably now under a different name an still a newbie).

Sorry for any confusion!!

;-D
Tue 25/12/01 at 17:07
Regular
"DS..."
Posts: 3,307
where can you get one of these devices then?
slik ~_~
Tue 25/12/01 at 12:27
Regular
"Not your monkey"
Posts: 2,104
lol
Is it just me who thinks he is talking out of his, errrm, lower orifice?
:D
Tue 25/12/01 at 09:40
Posts: 0
Someone needs a blow up doll!





Hehe, just kidding have a Merry Christmas.
Tue 25/12/01 at 09:33
Regular
Posts: 3,611
Strafex wrote:

Hehe, keep away from Zelda and FF :)

(PS, all this is 100% true, and so is the fact that
> Your Honour is actually Wookiee Monster)

What a nasty way of getting replies Dan ^^^ :-D

Merry Christmas-Why thank you.

p.s Nice post
Tue 25/12/01 at 08:29
Regular
"Back For Good"
Posts: 3,673
Wasn't there a similar thing for the NES, I remember Digitiser talking about it.

Don't know whats under my tree, no ones up yet :-D
Merry Christmas
Tue 25/12/01 at 08:28
Regular
"DS..."
Posts: 3,307
hmm, is this real? respond if it is!
slik ~_~
Tue 25/12/01 at 08:16
Regular
"DS..."
Posts: 3,307
oh is there a web site address on the box? sorry just wondering, merry christmas!
slik ~_~

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