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Dark Mark: Hello I am Dark Mark Lamar and welcome to Nevermind the GADcocks, Its like Buzzcocks only with game-related quiz questions.
>Intro music plays
Dark Mark: Introducing our teams, on the A team *Chuckles*, we have Drunk Cow and Rosalind. On team B we have Maverick, Melancholy and Jeff the cleaner.
Jeff the cleaner: Actually Mark, I am just cleaning, since you didn’t pay for the studio we have to clean around you.
Dark Mark: Damn low budget, well onto our quick fire questions round. The first question is, “Who is the fat Italian plum…”
>Buzz
Drunk Cow: Mario, Mario!
Dark Mark: Sorry, the question was, “Who is the fat Italian plumbers favourite watch manufacturer?” The answer obviously being Rolex!
Drunk Cow: Damn stupid English and their Monarchy, ooh we’re so good we have a queen and a palace…
Dark Mark: Shut up! Next question, “Which developer created the ever-popular title ‘The Sims’”?
Melancholy: Its Maxis dammit, Maxis. Because I have that cheat where you can see them all naked
> Maverick kicks him under the table
Melancholy: Yeah, Maxis
Dark Mark: It is indeed Maxis. When the Sims first came out I enjoyed it a lot. I say Enjoyed I meant tolerated. I say tolerated, what I actually did when it was released was rub butter in my eyes and put my head in an oven before dressing in pink spandex and jumping in front of cars on the M1 yelling, “I get knocked down, but I get up again, never gonna keep me down!”
Rosalind: Are you ok Mark, want me to get you a glass of water…
Dark Mark: I’m fine woman! The next round is the charades round; one team member has to act a scene from a game and if the other guesses correctly they get a point. First up is team A.
> Rosalind leaps up, rips her blouse off and begins jumping around in just her bra. After wobbling her boobs around everywhere for about 5 minutes, Drunk Cow seems to know the answer.
Drunk Cow: Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball!
Dark Mark: Well done team A, now it is team B’s turn.
> Melancholy leaps to his feet and begins rolling himself frantically around on the floor. Maverick is puzzled and scratches his head puzzled. Melancholy begins miming he is stuck in a round structure and it becomes all too obvious.
Maverick: Its Super Monkey Ball. Right?
Dark Mark: That’s correct yes. Team A have 2 points and team B are on 1 point.
When Super Monkey Ball first came out I quite enjoyed it. I say enjoyed it, I tolerated it. I say tolerated, When it hit she shelves I rubbed by self head-to-toe in fish paste and threw myself into a part of the ocean well known for inhabiting hungry tiger sharks with big teeth.
> Audience laugh painfully
Dark Mark: For our final round we have the identity parade. Group A, you have to pick out which of the characters is the original Donkey Kong.
Is it 1, Donkey Kong
> A huge ape is stood in the studio glaring angrily at Rosalind
Is it 2, Plonker Kong
> Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses is stood in the studio smoking a pipe and grinning
Is it 3, Austin Powers
> A shagadellic, groovy looking funkster is jiving about the studio
Or is it 4, Jeff the cleaner
Jeff the cleaner: Actually I aren’t in the line-up, I am just sweeping over here.
Dark Mark: Oh, sorry. Team A, who do you choose?
Drunk Cow: I recon it is Del Boy…I mean David Jason… I mean
Dark Mark: We know who you mean!
Rosalind: I think it’s 1, Donkey Kong, but Drunk Cow seems so insistent…
Drunk Cow: Damn right I am
Dark Mark: Is that your final answer…sorry I had a Tarrant moment there!
Drunk Cow and Rosalind: Yes
Dark Mark: Will the real Donkey Kong please step forward
> The huge ape lumbers forward and crushes a sound guy on his way.
Drunk Cow: Damn, so near and yes so far
Rosalind: I told you it wa…
Dark Mark: Now team B, you have to select who you think is Bill Gates from this line of colourful characters!
Is it 1, man we found in a wheelbarrow outside the studio
> A tramp glares at the camera whilst eating a sandwich
Is it 2, fat star wars fan
> A beer-bellied geek with a Chewbacca T-shirt and a light sabre waves to the crowd.
Or is it 3, Bill Gates
> A bottle-rimmed glasses wearing, scrawny little fellow waves meekly at the crowd.
Maverick: Well they are all geeks somehow, except the homeless guy, he looks like my uncle
Homeless guy: M-Maverick?
Maverick: Not now uncle! I think it is number 2, he Is a geek all right!
Melancholy: 2 and 3 are both utter geeks with no lives. Haha look at you, pathetic.
> The fat star wars guy bursts into tears
Melancholy: I knew I’d break one of them, its number 3 for sure!
Maverick: Yeah, whatever
Dark Mark: Will the real Bill Gates make himself known
> Number 3 steps forward, drops some computer components on the floor and begins muttering technical jargon about Pentium 5.
Dark Mark: It appears we have a tie with both teams on two points. There is just one way to settle this, Russian Roulette…
> A shocked gasp goes up from the crowd.
Dark Mark: The rules are simple; we have a handgun with 6 chambers but only put 5 bullets in it. The winner is the last one alive.
Rosalind: I knew I shouldn’t have come on this show…
Melancholy: But we don’t have six people
Dark Mark: Yes we do
Melancholy: Erm, NO, we don’t.
Dark Mark: Rosalind, Drunk Cow, Melancholy, Maverick, Myself and Jeff the cleaner
Jeff the cleaner: What?
Dark Mark: Come here Jeff, want to make yourself £5?
Jeff the cleaner: Well gee sure I do
> Dark Mark shoots Jeff in the face and rests a crisp fiver onto his chest
Dark Mark: OK team A are first
> Dark Mark points the gun barrel at Drunk Cow and with a loud crack Drunk Cow slumps to the floor. Another loud crack and Rosalind slides under the table.
Dark Mark: Team B, it is your turn!
Melancholy: Goodbye cruel world…
> Dark Mark pulls the trigger and Melancholy thuds to the ground
Maverick: This means I win, right?
Dark Mark: Nope
> Dark Mark pulls the trigger again and Maverick falls backwards off his chair and lies motionlessly on the floor.
Dark Mark: I am the winner, and the prize money is all mine
Producer: Erm, we don’t have a prize
Dark Mark: What, no prize? What sort of game show is this?
Producer: A really low budget one…
> Dark Mark hurls the handgun at the producer and walks out of the studio in a huff.
Dark Mark: Stupid low budget studio…trained monkeys the lot of ‘em…channel 5 could do better…
> The camera zooms follows a fly around the studio and zooms in as it lands on the table. The tape begins to burn up and the shot flickers and turns to static.
The End
>Intro music plays
Dark Mark: Introducing our teams, on the A team *Chuckles*, we have Drunk Cow and Rosalind. On team B we have Maverick, Melancholy and Jeff the cleaner.
Jeff the cleaner: Actually Mark, I am just cleaning, since you didn’t pay for the studio we have to clean around you.
Dark Mark: Damn low budget, well onto our quick fire questions round. The first question is, “Who is the fat Italian plum…”
>Buzz
Drunk Cow: Mario, Mario!
Dark Mark: Sorry, the question was, “Who is the fat Italian plumbers favourite watch manufacturer?” The answer obviously being Rolex!
Drunk Cow: Damn stupid English and their Monarchy, ooh we’re so good we have a queen and a palace…
Dark Mark: Shut up! Next question, “Which developer created the ever-popular title ‘The Sims’”?
Melancholy: Its Maxis dammit, Maxis. Because I have that cheat where you can see them all naked
> Maverick kicks him under the table
Melancholy: Yeah, Maxis
Dark Mark: It is indeed Maxis. When the Sims first came out I enjoyed it a lot. I say Enjoyed I meant tolerated. I say tolerated, what I actually did when it was released was rub butter in my eyes and put my head in an oven before dressing in pink spandex and jumping in front of cars on the M1 yelling, “I get knocked down, but I get up again, never gonna keep me down!”
Rosalind: Are you ok Mark, want me to get you a glass of water…
Dark Mark: I’m fine woman! The next round is the charades round; one team member has to act a scene from a game and if the other guesses correctly they get a point. First up is team A.
> Rosalind leaps up, rips her blouse off and begins jumping around in just her bra. After wobbling her boobs around everywhere for about 5 minutes, Drunk Cow seems to know the answer.
Drunk Cow: Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball!
Dark Mark: Well done team A, now it is team B’s turn.
> Melancholy leaps to his feet and begins rolling himself frantically around on the floor. Maverick is puzzled and scratches his head puzzled. Melancholy begins miming he is stuck in a round structure and it becomes all too obvious.
Maverick: Its Super Monkey Ball. Right?
Dark Mark: That’s correct yes. Team A have 2 points and team B are on 1 point.
When Super Monkey Ball first came out I quite enjoyed it. I say enjoyed it, I tolerated it. I say tolerated, When it hit she shelves I rubbed by self head-to-toe in fish paste and threw myself into a part of the ocean well known for inhabiting hungry tiger sharks with big teeth.
> Audience laugh painfully
Dark Mark: For our final round we have the identity parade. Group A, you have to pick out which of the characters is the original Donkey Kong.
Is it 1, Donkey Kong
> A huge ape is stood in the studio glaring angrily at Rosalind
Is it 2, Plonker Kong
> Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses is stood in the studio smoking a pipe and grinning
Is it 3, Austin Powers
> A shagadellic, groovy looking funkster is jiving about the studio
Or is it 4, Jeff the cleaner
Jeff the cleaner: Actually I aren’t in the line-up, I am just sweeping over here.
Dark Mark: Oh, sorry. Team A, who do you choose?
Drunk Cow: I recon it is Del Boy…I mean David Jason… I mean
Dark Mark: We know who you mean!
Rosalind: I think it’s 1, Donkey Kong, but Drunk Cow seems so insistent…
Drunk Cow: Damn right I am
Dark Mark: Is that your final answer…sorry I had a Tarrant moment there!
Drunk Cow and Rosalind: Yes
Dark Mark: Will the real Donkey Kong please step forward
> The huge ape lumbers forward and crushes a sound guy on his way.
Drunk Cow: Damn, so near and yes so far
Rosalind: I told you it wa…
Dark Mark: Now team B, you have to select who you think is Bill Gates from this line of colourful characters!
Is it 1, man we found in a wheelbarrow outside the studio
> A tramp glares at the camera whilst eating a sandwich
Is it 2, fat star wars fan
> A beer-bellied geek with a Chewbacca T-shirt and a light sabre waves to the crowd.
Or is it 3, Bill Gates
> A bottle-rimmed glasses wearing, scrawny little fellow waves meekly at the crowd.
Maverick: Well they are all geeks somehow, except the homeless guy, he looks like my uncle
Homeless guy: M-Maverick?
Maverick: Not now uncle! I think it is number 2, he Is a geek all right!
Melancholy: 2 and 3 are both utter geeks with no lives. Haha look at you, pathetic.
> The fat star wars guy bursts into tears
Melancholy: I knew I’d break one of them, its number 3 for sure!
Maverick: Yeah, whatever
Dark Mark: Will the real Bill Gates make himself known
> Number 3 steps forward, drops some computer components on the floor and begins muttering technical jargon about Pentium 5.
Dark Mark: It appears we have a tie with both teams on two points. There is just one way to settle this, Russian Roulette…
> A shocked gasp goes up from the crowd.
Dark Mark: The rules are simple; we have a handgun with 6 chambers but only put 5 bullets in it. The winner is the last one alive.
Rosalind: I knew I shouldn’t have come on this show…
Melancholy: But we don’t have six people
Dark Mark: Yes we do
Melancholy: Erm, NO, we don’t.
Dark Mark: Rosalind, Drunk Cow, Melancholy, Maverick, Myself and Jeff the cleaner
Jeff the cleaner: What?
Dark Mark: Come here Jeff, want to make yourself £5?
Jeff the cleaner: Well gee sure I do
> Dark Mark shoots Jeff in the face and rests a crisp fiver onto his chest
Dark Mark: OK team A are first
> Dark Mark points the gun barrel at Drunk Cow and with a loud crack Drunk Cow slumps to the floor. Another loud crack and Rosalind slides under the table.
Dark Mark: Team B, it is your turn!
Melancholy: Goodbye cruel world…
> Dark Mark pulls the trigger and Melancholy thuds to the ground
Maverick: This means I win, right?
Dark Mark: Nope
> Dark Mark pulls the trigger again and Maverick falls backwards off his chair and lies motionlessly on the floor.
Dark Mark: I am the winner, and the prize money is all mine
Producer: Erm, we don’t have a prize
Dark Mark: What, no prize? What sort of game show is this?
Producer: A really low budget one…
> Dark Mark hurls the handgun at the producer and walks out of the studio in a huff.
Dark Mark: Stupid low budget studio…trained monkeys the lot of ‘em…channel 5 could do better…
> The camera zooms follows a fly around the studio and zooms in as it lands on the table. The tape begins to burn up and the shot flickers and turns to static.
The End
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I thought it had a few good moments in it kyz22. I liked the way you added Jeff the cleaner into it. Nice touch! Well Done!
Kyz22 wrote:
> Whitestripes wrote:
> No offence, but I thought that was about as funny as playing 'Guess
> Who' by yourself.
>
> Something you frequently engage in, no doubt.
No, because it's rubbish, like this spoof.*
*All spoofs are crap, I'm not singling you out.
> Whitestripes wrote:
> No offence, but I thought that was about as funny as playing 'Guess
> Who' by yourself.
>
> Something you frequently engage in, no doubt.
No, because it's rubbish, like this spoof.*
*All spoofs are crap, I'm not singling you out.
Dark Mark™ wrote:
> L337ist, you idiot.
It had grammatical and spelling errors, and sounds wooden when read. Great way to introduce a spoof which, according to other people posting in here having read the whole thing, wasn't that great.
> L337ist, you idiot.
It had grammatical and spelling errors, and sounds wooden when read. Great way to introduce a spoof which, according to other people posting in here having read the whole thing, wasn't that great.
Its only because, for a n00b, you are very elitist (Heh). You possibly do not have a sense of humour either, and that may be something you should consider looking into in future.
Unfortunately, I am not aware of any shops that sell them, so you may have to do it yourself.
Unfortunately, I am not aware of any shops that sell them, so you may have to do it yourself.
Not your best Kyle, it has to be said. Sorry!
Good post kyz22!!
Memorandum wrote:
> Its only because, for a n00b, you are very elitist (Heh).
"For a noob"? So because my name is red my funny glands aren't fully matured?
> Its only because, for a n00b, you are very elitist (Heh).
"For a noob"? So because my name is red my funny glands aren't fully matured?
Your name is brown, not red.
It sure is.
No, I was merely stating that most n00bs aren't usually this forward, and tend to keep their heads down, out of trouble, except for the stupid "i 8 u cos ur gay" ones.
It is actually quite refreshing to see a n00b that is willing to do this, however perhaps you were a bit strong about the weakness of the spoof, it definitely wasn't his best, but it was indeed still ver good. In fact I am sure most members of this site would be unable to write a spoof to the standard of that one, including yourself.
It is actually quite refreshing to see a n00b that is willing to do this, however perhaps you were a bit strong about the weakness of the spoof, it definitely wasn't his best, but it was indeed still ver good. In fact I am sure most members of this site would be unable to write a spoof to the standard of that one, including yourself.
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