The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
This is the story of Christmas-Special Reserve style. Hopefully this will remind all of you of the real meaning of Christmas, and also give you a few laughs.
This is how the birth of Jesus Stryke came about: His mother Mystique was pledged to be married to Grix Thraves, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Grix was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he was planning to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared before him in a dream and said, “Grix, son of Snuggly, do not be afraid to take Mystique home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus Stryke, because he will save his people from their sins and spam.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Jesus Stryke.”
When Grix woke up, he firstly went to the toilet because he was desperate, and then he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mystique home as his wife. To give birth to their son, they had to travel to Bethlehem. They tried many inns, but all were busy, apart from one, but Mystique didn’t like the colour of the walls. In the end, they had to give birth in a stable. The child was born, and he was named Jesus Stryke.
________________________
Meanwhile, 3 kings named RastaBillySkank, Sheepy and Wookiee Monster heard that the King of the Jews had been born. This was during the time of King YH, and the 3 Kings came to him and asked, “Where is the King of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”
King YH was disturbed to hear this, and he told the 3 Kings to make a careful search for the child, and when they found him, make sure it was reported to him, so he could go and worship him too. However, King YH had other intentions in mind…
The 3 Kings went on their merry way, following the bright star in front of them.
“Hey, Sheepy, how are those piles of yours?” Wookiee asked.
“Well, they’re a bit better. I feel more comfortable sitting down now.” He replied, not even a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
When they found Jesus Stryke, they were overjoyed, and so they bowed down to worship him. They gave him gifts-a game, a DVD and a bottle “Pile’s Pile Soothing-Piles better than the rest,” (Sheepy’s.) Having been warned in a dream not to go back to YH, they returned to their own countries.
When he learned the 3 Kings had outsmarted him, King YH was so annoyed he broke his neck beating up 3 of his newbie servants, and died.
________________________
3 shepherds, named Aliboy, GasMask and Meka_Dragon sat on the grass, while their Sheep continually dumped on the ground next to them.
“I’m bored of this life.” Meka said sadly, “nothing original ever happens over there. Our Sheep, well, they’re just updates of the previous ones. Damn EA, never bringing out completely new sheep.”
Just as he said this, a bright light flashed before them, and an Angel appeared. “Follow the star, and you shall find the King of the Jews.”
They were very excited about this, and they left their Sheep, who were beginning to get stuck in their own excretion. They travelled to Bethlehem were they found Jesus Stryke, and they praised him. When they came back to their sheep, they found many complete new ones, and not just pointless sequels.
_____________________
Mystique and Grix looked down on Jesus Stryke with pride. They knew that their was something special about him, and that in the future he would perform many miracles, such as turn water into wine and win the same GAD Prize 2 days in a row.
_____________________
So, even if you do not believe in this story (but you should do really, considering Christmas Day is supposed to be celebrating it) try and remember what happened on the very first Christmas, whether it just be for the excreting sheep.
And yes, I know the story wasn’t exactly word-perfect, but I think the gist of it is there. So, a Merry Christmas to you all, and I expect to see you all at Church, 10am sharp, before you’ve opened your presents.
Thanks for reading, Ant.
This is how the birth of Jesus Stryke came about: His mother Mystique was pledged to be married to Grix Thraves, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Grix was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he was planning to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared before him in a dream and said, “Grix, son of Snuggly, do not be afraid to take Mystique home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus Stryke, because he will save his people from their sins and spam.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Jesus Stryke.”
When Grix woke up, he firstly went to the toilet because he was desperate, and then he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mystique home as his wife. To give birth to their son, they had to travel to Bethlehem. They tried many inns, but all were busy, apart from one, but Mystique didn’t like the colour of the walls. In the end, they had to give birth in a stable. The child was born, and he was named Jesus Stryke.
________________________
Meanwhile, 3 kings named RastaBillySkank, Sheepy and Wookiee Monster heard that the King of the Jews had been born. This was during the time of King YH, and the 3 Kings came to him and asked, “Where is the King of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”
King YH was disturbed to hear this, and he told the 3 Kings to make a careful search for the child, and when they found him, make sure it was reported to him, so he could go and worship him too. However, King YH had other intentions in mind…
The 3 Kings went on their merry way, following the bright star in front of them.
“Hey, Sheepy, how are those piles of yours?” Wookiee asked.
“Well, they’re a bit better. I feel more comfortable sitting down now.” He replied, not even a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
When they found Jesus Stryke, they were overjoyed, and so they bowed down to worship him. They gave him gifts-a game, a DVD and a bottle “Pile’s Pile Soothing-Piles better than the rest,” (Sheepy’s.) Having been warned in a dream not to go back to YH, they returned to their own countries.
When he learned the 3 Kings had outsmarted him, King YH was so annoyed he broke his neck beating up 3 of his newbie servants, and died.
________________________
3 shepherds, named Aliboy, GasMask and Meka_Dragon sat on the grass, while their Sheep continually dumped on the ground next to them.
“I’m bored of this life.” Meka said sadly, “nothing original ever happens over there. Our Sheep, well, they’re just updates of the previous ones. Damn EA, never bringing out completely new sheep.”
Just as he said this, a bright light flashed before them, and an Angel appeared. “Follow the star, and you shall find the King of the Jews.”
They were very excited about this, and they left their Sheep, who were beginning to get stuck in their own excretion. They travelled to Bethlehem were they found Jesus Stryke, and they praised him. When they came back to their sheep, they found many complete new ones, and not just pointless sequels.
_____________________
Mystique and Grix looked down on Jesus Stryke with pride. They knew that their was something special about him, and that in the future he would perform many miracles, such as turn water into wine and win the same GAD Prize 2 days in a row.
_____________________
So, even if you do not believe in this story (but you should do really, considering Christmas Day is supposed to be celebrating it) try and remember what happened on the very first Christmas, whether it just be for the excreting sheep.
And yes, I know the story wasn’t exactly word-perfect, but I think the gist of it is there. So, a Merry Christmas to you all, and I expect to see you all at Church, 10am sharp, before you’ve opened your presents.
Thanks for reading, Ant.
Page:
Ant wrote:
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> The strange thing is, I never asked
> for people to think it was
> 'amazing.' I just
> wrote it in 10 minutes,
> and then put it on here. I
> didn't ask for "Lol, how
> great!
> Brilliant stuff!"
Yeah but
> you seemed pretty pessed off when I
> went :|
Only because I was a little disappointed and annoyed that it was
> just":|"
But now you've explained, I feel much better. {:)
And
> if you want to see my real efforts, check out a couple of my stories in the
> Story forum. You don't have to, by the way. {:)
:)
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> The strange thing is, I never asked
> for people to think it was
> 'amazing.' I just
> wrote it in 10 minutes,
> and then put it on here. I
> didn't ask for "Lol, how
> great!
> Brilliant stuff!"
Yeah but
> you seemed pretty pessed off when I
> went :|
Only because I was a little disappointed and annoyed that it was
> just":|"
But now you've explained, I feel much better. {:)
And
> if you want to see my real efforts, check out a couple of my stories in the
> Story forum. You don't have to, by the way. {:)
:)
Ant wrote:
The strange thing is, I never asked for people to think it was 'amazing.' I just wrote it in 10 minutes, and then put it on here. I didn't ask for "Lol, how great! Brilliant stuff!"
But the thing is that people do actually just do that. I'm sorry to say it but I bet most people come in the room then just see your name and say 'Wow' or things alike. It's all because of status. I personally don't care if you were God, I wouldn't turn around and worship you because you wrote a story. But if it was something that deserved praise then I'd say so.
The strange thing is, I never asked for people to think it was 'amazing.' I just wrote it in 10 minutes, and then put it on here. I didn't ask for "Lol, how great! Brilliant stuff!"
But the thing is that people do actually just do that. I'm sorry to say it but I bet most people come in the room then just see your name and say 'Wow' or things alike. It's all because of status. I personally don't care if you were God, I wouldn't turn around and worship you because you wrote a story. But if it was something that deserved praise then I'd say so.
Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> The strange thing is, I never asked for people to think it was
> 'amazing.' I just
> wrote it in 10 minutes, and then put it on here. I
> didn't ask for "Lol, how
> great! Brilliant stuff!"
Yeah but
> you seemed pretty pessed off when I went :|
Only because I was a little disappointed and annoyed that it was just":|"
But now you've explained, I feel much better. {:)
And if you want to see my real efforts, check out a couple of my stories in the Story forum. You don't have to, by the way. {:)
> Ant wrote:
> The strange thing is, I never asked for people to think it was
> 'amazing.' I just
> wrote it in 10 minutes, and then put it on here. I
> didn't ask for "Lol, how
> great! Brilliant stuff!"
Yeah but
> you seemed pretty pessed off when I went :|
Only because I was a little disappointed and annoyed that it was just":|"
But now you've explained, I feel much better. {:)
And if you want to see my real efforts, check out a couple of my stories in the Story forum. You don't have to, by the way. {:)
Ant wrote:
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Seriously - I didn't find it amusing. Piles? C'mon, I
> don't think that's the
> true meaning of Christmas at all.
I didn't find
> it amusing, accept it - give
> me the decency of accepting that I read the
> whole lot and apologise for making
> me read the whole lot - how boring was
> it really!!!
Fine, if you didn't like, tell me why.
Rather than just going
> ":|"
I already have - And you can do the same for mine.
OH and MERRY CHRISTMAS :)
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Seriously - I didn't find it amusing. Piles? C'mon, I
> don't think that's the
> true meaning of Christmas at all.
I didn't find
> it amusing, accept it - give
> me the decency of accepting that I read the
> whole lot and apologise for making
> me read the whole lot - how boring was
> it really!!!
Fine, if you didn't like, tell me why.
Rather than just going
> ":|"
I already have - And you can do the same for mine.
OH and MERRY CHRISTMAS :)
The strange thing is, I never asked for people to think it was 'amazing.' I just wrote it in 10 minutes, and then put it on here. I didn't ask for "Lol, how great! Brilliant stuff!"
Ant wrote:
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> The whole
> lot.
My
> ar*e.
What, do you seriously expect everyone to find it a
> 5 star story? I
> thought it was boring so there - I read the whole lot, now
> if you cannot accept
> some criticism then get off your high horse, help an
> old lady across the road
> and shut up.
Nope, you've got it all wrong. It
> wasn't even meant to be that funny. And I usually ask for criticism in my
> stories.
And also, is ":|" really good criticism?? Nope, it's from
> a person who can't be bothered.
I didn't need to give good criticism, because I wasn't that disappointed with your story, it's not utterly EA, it's just not that amazing in MY view - doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same as me - I am sure there are people who loved it and want to offer you a job in storywriting, but I don't appreciate you saying I couldn't be bothered.
I can be bothered. Minimalistic criticism. Appreciate it.
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> The whole
> lot.
My
> ar*e.
What, do you seriously expect everyone to find it a
> 5 star story? I
> thought it was boring so there - I read the whole lot, now
> if you cannot accept
> some criticism then get off your high horse, help an
> old lady across the road
> and shut up.
Nope, you've got it all wrong. It
> wasn't even meant to be that funny. And I usually ask for criticism in my
> stories.
And also, is ":|" really good criticism?? Nope, it's from
> a person who can't be bothered.
I didn't need to give good criticism, because I wasn't that disappointed with your story, it's not utterly EA, it's just not that amazing in MY view - doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same as me - I am sure there are people who loved it and want to offer you a job in storywriting, but I don't appreciate you saying I couldn't be bothered.
I can be bothered. Minimalistic criticism. Appreciate it.
Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Seriously - I didn't find it amusing. Piles? C'mon, I don't think that's the
> true meaning of Christmas at all.
I didn't find it amusing, accept it - give
> me the decency of accepting that I read the whole lot and apologise for making
> me read the whole lot - how boring was it really!!!
Fine, if you didn't like, tell me why.
Rather than just going ":|"
> Seriously - I didn't find it amusing. Piles? C'mon, I don't think that's the
> true meaning of Christmas at all.
I didn't find it amusing, accept it - give
> me the decency of accepting that I read the whole lot and apologise for making
> me read the whole lot - how boring was it really!!!
Fine, if you didn't like, tell me why.
Rather than just going ":|"
Seriously - I didn't find it amusing. Piles? C'mon, I don't think that's the true meaning of Christmas at all.
I didn't find it amusing, accept it - give me the decency of accepting that I read the whole lot and apologise for making me read the whole lot - how boring was it really!!!
Jam Tart
I didn't find it amusing, accept it - give me the decency of accepting that I read the whole lot and apologise for making me read the whole lot - how boring was it really!!!
Jam Tart
Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> The whole lot.
My
> ar*e.
What, do you seriously expect everyone to find it a 5 star story? I
> thought it was boring so there - I read the whole lot, now if you cannot accept
> some criticism then get off your high horse, help an old lady across the road
> and shut up.
Nope, you've got it all wrong. It wasn't even meant to be that funny. And I usually ask for criticism in my stories.
And also, is ":|" really good criticism?? Nope, it's from a person who can't be bothered.
> Ant wrote:
> Uncle Crumpet wrote:
> The whole lot.
My
> ar*e.
What, do you seriously expect everyone to find it a 5 star story? I
> thought it was boring so there - I read the whole lot, now if you cannot accept
> some criticism then get off your high horse, help an old lady across the road
> and shut up.
Nope, you've got it all wrong. It wasn't even meant to be that funny. And I usually ask for criticism in my stories.
And also, is ":|" really good criticism?? Nope, it's from a person who can't be bothered.
Page: