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This is the story of Christmas-Special Reserve style. Hopefully this will remind all of you of the real meaning of Christmas, and also give you a few laughs.
This is how the birth of Jesus Stryke came about: His mother Mystique was pledged to be married to Grix Thraves, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Grix was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he was planning to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared before him in a dream and said, “Grix, son of Snuggly, do not be afraid to take Mystique home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus Stryke, because he will save his people from their sins and spam.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Jesus Stryke.”
When Grix woke up, he firstly went to the toilet because he was desperate, and then he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mystique home as his wife. To give birth to their son, they had to travel to Bethlehem. They tried many inns, but all were busy, apart from one, but Mystique didn’t like the colour of the walls. In the end, they had to give birth in a stable. The child was born, and he was named Jesus Stryke.
________________________
Meanwhile, 3 kings named RastaBillySkank, Sheepy and Wookiee Monster heard that the King of the Jews had been born. This was during the time of King YH, and the 3 Kings came to him and asked, “Where is the King of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”
King YH was disturbed to hear this, and he told the 3 Kings to make a careful search for the child, and when they found him, make sure it was reported to him, so he could go and worship him too. However, King YH had other intentions in mind…
The 3 Kings went on their merry way, following the bright star in front of them.
“Hey, Sheepy, how are those piles of yours?” Wookiee asked.
“Well, they’re a bit better. I feel more comfortable sitting down now.” He replied, not even a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
When they found Jesus Stryke, they were overjoyed, and so they bowed down to worship him. They gave him gifts-a game, a DVD and a bottle “Pile’s Pile Soothing-Piles better than the rest,” (Sheepy’s.) Having been warned in a dream not to go back to YH, they returned to their own countries.
When he learned the 3 Kings had outsmarted him, King YH was so annoyed he broke his neck beating up 3 of his newbie servants, and died.
________________________
3 shepherds, named Aliboy, GasMask and Meka_Dragon sat on the grass, while their Sheep continually dumped on the ground next to them.
“I’m bored of this life.” Meka said sadly, “nothing original ever happens over there. Our Sheep, well, they’re just updates of the previous ones. Damn EA, never bringing out completely new sheep.”
Just as he said this, a bright light flashed before them, and an Angel appeared. “Follow the star, and you shall find the King of the Jews.”
They were very excited about this, and they left their Sheep, who were beginning to get stuck in their own excretion. They travelled to Bethlehem were they found Jesus Stryke, and they praised him. When they came back to their sheep, they found many complete new ones, and not just pointless sequels.
_____________________
Mystique and Grix looked down on Jesus Stryke with pride. They knew that their was something special about him, and that in the future he would perform many miracles, such as turn water into wine and win the same GAD Prize 2 days in a row.
_____________________
So, even if you do not believe in this story (but you should do really, considering Christmas Day is supposed to be celebrating it) try and remember what happened on the very first Christmas, whether it just be for the excreting sheep.
And yes, I know the story wasn’t exactly word-perfect, but I think the gist of it is there. So, a Merry Christmas to you all, and I expect to see you all at Church, 10am sharp, before you’ve opened your presents.
Thanks for reading, Ant.
This is how the birth of Jesus Stryke came about: His mother Mystique was pledged to be married to Grix Thraves, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Grix was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he was planning to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared before him in a dream and said, “Grix, son of Snuggly, do not be afraid to take Mystique home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus Stryke, because he will save his people from their sins and spam.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Jesus Stryke.”
When Grix woke up, he firstly went to the toilet because he was desperate, and then he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mystique home as his wife. To give birth to their son, they had to travel to Bethlehem. They tried many inns, but all were busy, apart from one, but Mystique didn’t like the colour of the walls. In the end, they had to give birth in a stable. The child was born, and he was named Jesus Stryke.
________________________
Meanwhile, 3 kings named RastaBillySkank, Sheepy and Wookiee Monster heard that the King of the Jews had been born. This was during the time of King YH, and the 3 Kings came to him and asked, “Where is the King of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.”
King YH was disturbed to hear this, and he told the 3 Kings to make a careful search for the child, and when they found him, make sure it was reported to him, so he could go and worship him too. However, King YH had other intentions in mind…
The 3 Kings went on their merry way, following the bright star in front of them.
“Hey, Sheepy, how are those piles of yours?” Wookiee asked.
“Well, they’re a bit better. I feel more comfortable sitting down now.” He replied, not even a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
When they found Jesus Stryke, they were overjoyed, and so they bowed down to worship him. They gave him gifts-a game, a DVD and a bottle “Pile’s Pile Soothing-Piles better than the rest,” (Sheepy’s.) Having been warned in a dream not to go back to YH, they returned to their own countries.
When he learned the 3 Kings had outsmarted him, King YH was so annoyed he broke his neck beating up 3 of his newbie servants, and died.
________________________
3 shepherds, named Aliboy, GasMask and Meka_Dragon sat on the grass, while their Sheep continually dumped on the ground next to them.
“I’m bored of this life.” Meka said sadly, “nothing original ever happens over there. Our Sheep, well, they’re just updates of the previous ones. Damn EA, never bringing out completely new sheep.”
Just as he said this, a bright light flashed before them, and an Angel appeared. “Follow the star, and you shall find the King of the Jews.”
They were very excited about this, and they left their Sheep, who were beginning to get stuck in their own excretion. They travelled to Bethlehem were they found Jesus Stryke, and they praised him. When they came back to their sheep, they found many complete new ones, and not just pointless sequels.
_____________________
Mystique and Grix looked down on Jesus Stryke with pride. They knew that their was something special about him, and that in the future he would perform many miracles, such as turn water into wine and win the same GAD Prize 2 days in a row.
_____________________
So, even if you do not believe in this story (but you should do really, considering Christmas Day is supposed to be celebrating it) try and remember what happened on the very first Christmas, whether it just be for the excreting sheep.
And yes, I know the story wasn’t exactly word-perfect, but I think the gist of it is there. So, a Merry Christmas to you all, and I expect to see you all at Church, 10am sharp, before you’ve opened your presents.
Thanks for reading, Ant.
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Joe Dark wrote:
> Ant, I'm going to Church tomorrow at 10am but I'm gonna open all my presents
> first :)
Actually, it's same here now, as we won't have enough time afterwards, since we're supposed to be going over to our friends at around mid-day.
> Ant, I'm going to Church tomorrow at 10am but I'm gonna open all my presents
> first :)
Actually, it's same here now, as we won't have enough time afterwards, since we're supposed to be going over to our friends at around mid-day.
Ant, I'm going to Church tomorrow at 10am but I'm gonna open all my presents first :)
lol!
nice quick little story there Ant...
Poor YH...
nice quick little story there Ant...
Poor YH...
Nice short story, so I read it for once.
Good idea, put accross well.
Amusing all the same :)
Well Done Ant
( reists joke to say that God got Mary up the duff :) )
Good idea, put accross well.
Amusing all the same :)
Well Done Ant
( reists joke to say that God got Mary up the duff :) )
Actually, I found that quite good. Not as funny as the Ant Classics, but droll. And I'm a saviour, so all bow down to me. For, yea, it was written that everyone shalt send me two LotR tickets, and it shall be done.
Lord Semajal wrote:
> Ant gonna get abuse from the religions people here.
Good story though
>
Jesus Stryke
>LOL
Thanks, but by the way, I'm one of the only Christians on here. So if I am gonna get abuse, I should be giving it to myself. {:)
> Ant gonna get abuse from the religions people here.
Good story though
>
Jesus Stryke
>LOL
Thanks, but by the way, I'm one of the only Christians on here. So if I am gonna get abuse, I should be giving it to myself. {:)
Ant gonna get abuse from the religions people here.
Good story though
Jesus Stryke
LOL
Good story though
Jesus Stryke
LOL
Grix Thraves wrote:
> Hmmm, this is good, but it's nothing compared to the Fog Stories
> Trailer!
www.swordspines.com
>Go download it! :0D
Yeah, yeah, I'm off. {:)
> Hmmm, this is good, but it's nothing compared to the Fog Stories
> Trailer!
www.swordspines.com
>Go download it! :0D
Yeah, yeah, I'm off. {:)
Hmmm, this is good, but it's nothing compared to the Fog Stories Trailer!
www.swordspines.com
Go download it! :0D
www.swordspines.com
Go download it! :0D
Uncle Crumpet wrote:
:)
Well, at least it's not a ":|"
{:)
:)
Well, at least it's not a ":|"
{:)
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