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I was in my office, specially provided by Special Reserve, always offering quality products at low, low prices, when knocking came at my door. I opened it to find a young woman at the door. It was evident from the mascara that had run down her face, that she had been crying. I asked her what was wrong, and as she came and sat down in my office she began to relate a story to me.
To cut a long story short, she was in fact Mystique, the forums protector from spam. With her mighty Stik she had defended the forums countless times. But there was a crisis at hand. Her Stik had been stolen, and the forums were being besieged by evil spam. I could not resist helping a damsel in distress. I vowed to get her Stik back, and save the forums from certain spamdom (whatever that means). The only lead I had was one Thunder Pants, who had been causing trouble on the forums.
I immediately began the search for him, and after using all my contacts, found out the area he was hiding in. As I approached the bridge I saw a figure standing on the stone railings.
“Don’t do it!” I yelled to the figure, assuming he wasn’t there for the nice view.
“Take it easy Sibs” replied a familiar voice, “ I wasn’t gonna kill the scumbag.” As the figure turned to face me I recognised it as Tiltawhirl. He was holding a quivering form by the scruff of the neck, whom he proceeded to throw to the ground.
“He was giving me abuse. Damn stupid Newbie!”
“Thunder Pants I presume” I said. “As far as I hear, you should be lying low. You’re not making many friends with the forum goers.”
“You ain’t got nothing on me! Just try and get me banned! I dare ya!” Thunder Pants spat.
“Don’t tempt me!” I yelled back. “Now tell me what you know about the Stik!” Thunder Pants looked around suspiciously.
“TELL HIM!” Tiltawhirl yelled, furious with rage.
“Boys! I need help!” Thunder Pants yelled to the shadows. I turned around as countless newbies emerged from the shadows. They slowly walked towards us, with a cocky confidence about them. We were more experienced, but Tiltawhirl and I alone could not defeat them all. As they closed on us, a black form silhouetted the moonlight, and jumped from the rooftop to meet us.
“Need any help Sibs?” came Ev][L~Darks voice.
“Always gotta make such a big entrance…” Tiltawhirl mumbled. But we were glad for the help. The three of us managed to fend off the newbies, but we couldn’t hold them forever. As one went down to our punches, another replaced them. We needed a way out.
“Anyone got a Game Boy?” I asked. Ev][L~Dark produced his brand new Game Boy Advance. I slammed in the mobile adapter and quickly called Strafex for help.
Within minutes he had arrived in his go-kart. He shot shells at the newbies, tripping them up, and we ran through the gap. The newbies tried to give chase to us, but they kept slipping on the strategically placed banana peels.
It was evident that we couldn’t take the Stik back easily. We would have to find the newbie hideout, and get the Stik back quickly, before any more harm came to the forums. I sent for Cooky and AfroJoe, and soon our team was complete. We were ready to put down the uprising once and for all, and restore the balance of the forums.
But we needed a way in. Something or someone to lead us to the whereabouts of the mighty Stik. Without it we could never be victorious. Luckily, we had connections to some troublesome newbies, who had recently shunned their old spamming ways, and become intelligent posters. These gave us the whereabouts of Thunder Pants’ stronghold.
We tooled up, ready for action. AfroJoe stored up two weeks of supplies in his mighty hair, while Tiltawhirl packed his Oxford Deluxe English Dictionary to knock some sense into those illiterate monkeys. Ev][L~Dark practised fighting moves on the latest version of Virtual Fighter for DreamCast, Strafex perfected his evil stare, and Cooky prepared the tactics. I sat watching. This mighty team, united by one thing, a love for Nintendo, was about to enter combat for a righteous cause.
We stormed into the ‘abandoned’ warehouse. Immediately yells came from all around. We knew we were in for the fight of our lives. Newbies came from all around us, and Cooky barked orders.
“Squad, get into alpha formation!”
We formed up and advanced through the hordes, beating off attacks from all sides.
“Cease!” came a strangely commanding voice from the top of a pile of crates. “I will deal with these.” It was Thunder Pants. He was holding the mighty Stik.
“Drop the Stik, you illiterate monkey!” Tiltawhirl shouted at Thunder Pants.
“Ha ha ha. You can’t stop me so long as I have the Stik!” The glass above Thunder Pants shattered as a figure dropped onto the crates next to Thunder Pants.
“No, but I can!” It was Mystique!
All hell broke loose. As Mystique duelled with Thunder Pants we tried to defend ourselves.
“Squad, evasive manoeuvres!” Cooky commanded. We obeyed, dodging all over the warehouse to avoid being pinned down. Strafex became cornered. He glared at them, sending several newbies running with fear, but there were too many. Tiltawhirl dove into the fray, pounding his heavy dictionary onto the heads of newbies. Meanwhile, Ev][L~Dark was tiring. Pulling off fighting moves was so much easier on a Dreamcast than in reality. I noticed a remote control for a crane device. Pushing away from my current confrontation I grabbed the hook with one hand and pushed the green button with the other. It jerked forwards, and I piled through hordes of newbies, before reaching Ev][L~Darks position and kicking his assailants over, into a pile of discarded boxes. AfroJoe was having no trouble fending off newbies. He pulled item after item from his hair, and threw it at the oncoming mass. A pile of unconscious newbies lay before him. Meanwhile, Cooky was safe behind his position with a set of blueprints.
Mystique was still locked in a deadly duel with Thunder Pants, but she was growing weak. Her mighty Stik had batted down on her too many times. Cooky noticed this, and began searching for a way up, but could find none. He then noticed a forklift truck, and managed to run to it without getting lynched. He put his foot down and sped towards the tall stack of crates at 5 mph. He piled through them, toppling the pile, and sending both Mystique and Thunder Pants flying. When they landed Thunder Pants found himself surrounded by the six friends.
“Come any closer and I’ll hit you with… huh? The Stik? NO!”
Mystique was now holding the Stik, picked up from the mass of wooden crates and other debris. We heard sirens in the distance. The cavalry had arrived. Tony walked in, and cuffed Thunder Pants.
“Thunder Pants, I’m sorry to have to do this but you’re banned. Forever.”
We had won. The newbie maniac Thunder Pants was stopped, and the Stik returned. Back at my office, Mystique walked in.
“I wanted to thank you for helping me get my Stik back.”
I figured that we had saved the day, and the hero should get the girl. I leant over to Mystique.
*Mystique smashes Sibs wiv Stik*
NO NEWBIES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY
STIK is a registered trademark of Mystique Inc. all rights reserved.
To cut a long story short, she was in fact Mystique, the forums protector from spam. With her mighty Stik she had defended the forums countless times. But there was a crisis at hand. Her Stik had been stolen, and the forums were being besieged by evil spam. I could not resist helping a damsel in distress. I vowed to get her Stik back, and save the forums from certain spamdom (whatever that means). The only lead I had was one Thunder Pants, who had been causing trouble on the forums.
I immediately began the search for him, and after using all my contacts, found out the area he was hiding in. As I approached the bridge I saw a figure standing on the stone railings.
“Don’t do it!” I yelled to the figure, assuming he wasn’t there for the nice view.
“Take it easy Sibs” replied a familiar voice, “ I wasn’t gonna kill the scumbag.” As the figure turned to face me I recognised it as Tiltawhirl. He was holding a quivering form by the scruff of the neck, whom he proceeded to throw to the ground.
“He was giving me abuse. Damn stupid Newbie!”
“Thunder Pants I presume” I said. “As far as I hear, you should be lying low. You’re not making many friends with the forum goers.”
“You ain’t got nothing on me! Just try and get me banned! I dare ya!” Thunder Pants spat.
“Don’t tempt me!” I yelled back. “Now tell me what you know about the Stik!” Thunder Pants looked around suspiciously.
“TELL HIM!” Tiltawhirl yelled, furious with rage.
“Boys! I need help!” Thunder Pants yelled to the shadows. I turned around as countless newbies emerged from the shadows. They slowly walked towards us, with a cocky confidence about them. We were more experienced, but Tiltawhirl and I alone could not defeat them all. As they closed on us, a black form silhouetted the moonlight, and jumped from the rooftop to meet us.
“Need any help Sibs?” came Ev][L~Darks voice.
“Always gotta make such a big entrance…” Tiltawhirl mumbled. But we were glad for the help. The three of us managed to fend off the newbies, but we couldn’t hold them forever. As one went down to our punches, another replaced them. We needed a way out.
“Anyone got a Game Boy?” I asked. Ev][L~Dark produced his brand new Game Boy Advance. I slammed in the mobile adapter and quickly called Strafex for help.
Within minutes he had arrived in his go-kart. He shot shells at the newbies, tripping them up, and we ran through the gap. The newbies tried to give chase to us, but they kept slipping on the strategically placed banana peels.
It was evident that we couldn’t take the Stik back easily. We would have to find the newbie hideout, and get the Stik back quickly, before any more harm came to the forums. I sent for Cooky and AfroJoe, and soon our team was complete. We were ready to put down the uprising once and for all, and restore the balance of the forums.
But we needed a way in. Something or someone to lead us to the whereabouts of the mighty Stik. Without it we could never be victorious. Luckily, we had connections to some troublesome newbies, who had recently shunned their old spamming ways, and become intelligent posters. These gave us the whereabouts of Thunder Pants’ stronghold.
We tooled up, ready for action. AfroJoe stored up two weeks of supplies in his mighty hair, while Tiltawhirl packed his Oxford Deluxe English Dictionary to knock some sense into those illiterate monkeys. Ev][L~Dark practised fighting moves on the latest version of Virtual Fighter for DreamCast, Strafex perfected his evil stare, and Cooky prepared the tactics. I sat watching. This mighty team, united by one thing, a love for Nintendo, was about to enter combat for a righteous cause.
We stormed into the ‘abandoned’ warehouse. Immediately yells came from all around. We knew we were in for the fight of our lives. Newbies came from all around us, and Cooky barked orders.
“Squad, get into alpha formation!”
We formed up and advanced through the hordes, beating off attacks from all sides.
“Cease!” came a strangely commanding voice from the top of a pile of crates. “I will deal with these.” It was Thunder Pants. He was holding the mighty Stik.
“Drop the Stik, you illiterate monkey!” Tiltawhirl shouted at Thunder Pants.
“Ha ha ha. You can’t stop me so long as I have the Stik!” The glass above Thunder Pants shattered as a figure dropped onto the crates next to Thunder Pants.
“No, but I can!” It was Mystique!
All hell broke loose. As Mystique duelled with Thunder Pants we tried to defend ourselves.
“Squad, evasive manoeuvres!” Cooky commanded. We obeyed, dodging all over the warehouse to avoid being pinned down. Strafex became cornered. He glared at them, sending several newbies running with fear, but there were too many. Tiltawhirl dove into the fray, pounding his heavy dictionary onto the heads of newbies. Meanwhile, Ev][L~Dark was tiring. Pulling off fighting moves was so much easier on a Dreamcast than in reality. I noticed a remote control for a crane device. Pushing away from my current confrontation I grabbed the hook with one hand and pushed the green button with the other. It jerked forwards, and I piled through hordes of newbies, before reaching Ev][L~Darks position and kicking his assailants over, into a pile of discarded boxes. AfroJoe was having no trouble fending off newbies. He pulled item after item from his hair, and threw it at the oncoming mass. A pile of unconscious newbies lay before him. Meanwhile, Cooky was safe behind his position with a set of blueprints.
Mystique was still locked in a deadly duel with Thunder Pants, but she was growing weak. Her mighty Stik had batted down on her too many times. Cooky noticed this, and began searching for a way up, but could find none. He then noticed a forklift truck, and managed to run to it without getting lynched. He put his foot down and sped towards the tall stack of crates at 5 mph. He piled through them, toppling the pile, and sending both Mystique and Thunder Pants flying. When they landed Thunder Pants found himself surrounded by the six friends.
“Come any closer and I’ll hit you with… huh? The Stik? NO!”
Mystique was now holding the Stik, picked up from the mass of wooden crates and other debris. We heard sirens in the distance. The cavalry had arrived. Tony walked in, and cuffed Thunder Pants.
“Thunder Pants, I’m sorry to have to do this but you’re banned. Forever.”
We had won. The newbie maniac Thunder Pants was stopped, and the Stik returned. Back at my office, Mystique walked in.
“I wanted to thank you for helping me get my Stik back.”
I figured that we had saved the day, and the hero should get the girl. I leant over to Mystique.
*Mystique smashes Sibs wiv Stik*
NO NEWBIES WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS STORY
STIK is a registered trademark of Mystique Inc. all rights reserved.
Page:
Mystique wrote:
Coming Soon Mystique Action figures*
I'm sure they'll be popular!
Coming Soon Mystique Action figures*
I'm sure they'll be popular!
Hmm... you should see a doctor about that... maybe you've got a virus... An INTERNET virus... ha ha ha ha
(okay, okay, that was a lame joke, but stop coughing... I don't want you're germs)
Anyway, hardly any have replied... only about 4 or 5 out of 20 something replies...
(okay, okay, that was a lame joke, but stop coughing... I don't want you're germs)
Anyway, hardly any have replied... only about 4 or 5 out of 20 something replies...
heh... I was sure I'd get flooded with Newbies insulting me and attempting to be intelligent and stuff, but I thought that the decent newbies would know it was a joke...
Hardly any newbies replied though... probably couldn't be bothered to read all that!!!
anyway, thanks for reading if you did! and Merry Boxing Day!!!
Hardly any newbies replied though... probably couldn't be bothered to read all that!!!
anyway, thanks for reading if you did! and Merry Boxing Day!!!
o(^_^)o wrote:
lol! No newbies replied yet! Are they scared?
No. Bring it on Regular punk!
Now look what happened as soon as you said that.....
This is a warning to all newbies.
lol! No newbies replied yet! Are they scared?
No. Bring it on Regular punk!
Now look what happened as soon as you said that.....
This is a warning to all newbies.
LOL!
that was pretty good.
i kicked ass.
but 1 thing.. the "smash wiv stik" was created by Goatboy Inc. estd in 1973 all rights reserved.
i stole it and made it my own
:0P
Mystique Inc. estd 1983.all rights reserved,
Coming Soon Mystique Action figures*
i have an idea for a story .. my brutal and deadly global domination.**
*batteries and acessories not included.
** all spelling mistakes were intended:P
that was pretty good.
i kicked ass.
but 1 thing.. the "smash wiv stik" was created by Goatboy Inc. estd in 1973 all rights reserved.
i stole it and made it my own
:0P
Mystique Inc. estd 1983.all rights reserved,
Coming Soon Mystique Action figures*
i have an idea for a story .. my brutal and deadly global domination.**
*batteries and acessories not included.
** all spelling mistakes were intended:P
Lol... you're certainly one for the stories sibs! Glad I was never a newbie ;) (well, find someone who can remember me being one eh!!!)...
In fact, I've been here for all time and space...
well, actually, the newbie/reg system didn't exist when I joined... but hey!
Sonic
In fact, I've been here for all time and space...
well, actually, the newbie/reg system didn't exist when I joined... but hey!
Sonic
yeah, the prequel to this should be out in a few days... so look out for it...
The prequel should be coming pretty soon after Xmas (I got a lot of story projects going at the moment!) so check it out when you see it!
Anyway, I was thinking of a sequel, but I'm going to do a prequel first (everything seems to be getting prequels now! Metroid, Perfect Dark, the Star Wars trilogy!)
The prequel is going to be about how Mystiques Stik got stolen by the evil Thunder Pants! So look out for it soon...
The prequel is going to be about how Mystiques Stik got stolen by the evil Thunder Pants! So look out for it soon...
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