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"Dear Diary..."

Here are a number of Diary entries that were collected by the National Institute of Nintendo TemporalitYs, or NINTY, and published on their holographic database in the year 2314. The full diaries can be found at the NINTY museum in Tokyo, Japan, as well as many others. According to the holographic database, these are just a taste of our history:


Personal Log, Stardate 24351.9: As I fly my ship through the vast emptiness of space, I often wonder what life would have been like if I hadn't been given this suit by the Chozo. Would I still be destined to fight Space Pirates on strange planets, or would I have led a normal life, dating guys or worrying about my figure? The truth is, every day that goes by seems to get harder and harder to cope with. The Chozo didn't really think about what they were doing when they designed it. Sure, I can take my helmet off, but I am restricted to not being able to touch anything with my real hands, nor am I able to experience normal bodily functions, which kind of puts pressure on the bladder. Will I ever lead a normal life? As I continue my journey through space, I can only hope.

June 21st 1981: Dear Diary, life as a carpenter is starting to become a drag. My father wanted me to participate in the family business, but "Mario's Pizza Parlour" just never seems to be going anywhere. I had an idea last weekend for a career change. My brother, Luigi, who happens to be useless with his hands, gave me a call telling me his waterworks were blocked. When I arrived at his house he showed me a large sausage-shaped piece of faeces that 'just wouldn't flush down' floating in his lavatory. It took me a while to figure out how the system worked, but with the aid of an old plunger, I managed to unblock the pipes and flush the offensive material away. As far as I'm concerned, that's a job well done. So maybe I'll see if I can get some business in the plumbing sector.

February 28th 2003: Now the world is safe again, I can get back to my plans to destroy that blue hedgehog! Over the past few months I have been working on a new device capable of destroying Station Square before anyone knows what's hit them. With Sonic out of the way, I can get back to my original plans to enslave the people and animals of the world as my robot drones to do whatever I wish! HA HA HA HAA! All I need to complete my device is a Chaos Emerald. However, my past attempts at collecting Chaos Emeralds have resulted in failure. I must endeavour to formulate a plan that is guaranteed to work. Hmm...

Date not specified, sometime in the late 20th Century: Tomorrow is my first day in training for S.T.A.R.S. I have applied specifically to be a medic, so as to be able to help people to the very best of my abilities. I have had interests in the qualities of traditional medicinal herbs for quite a while now and would love to be able to put my research into practical use. I wonder what the future will hold for me, what kind of missions I will be a part of. I just hope it isn't anything scary.

The Third Age: I awoke early this morning to find my father preparing his sword and shield, though I am not sure why for the land of Hyrule has been a place of peace and harmony ever since I can remember. My father told me to stay at home until he returns and he went outside, in the middle of the worst storm we've had in ages. I couldn't stay though. For through the night I had a strange dream. A dream about the beautiful Princess Zelda from the castle. She was distressed and calling for help, which is odd for the majority of my dreams are of good times with the Princess. I can only hope that she notices me one day. Anyway, I am going to find my father and find out what is going on. I wonder if it does have anything to do with my dream? Nah...that would be silly.

Captain's Log, stardate 25341.7: After recovering all the parts of my ship from that mysterious planet, I have departed for my home planet, where I will finally be able to breathe the sweet smelling air without fear of oxygen poisoning. For now, my thoughts should be of my family back at home, but I can not help thinking about the Pikmin that helped me to fix my ship. Without them, I wouldn't be able to return home and I would have surely perished. I owe them a great deal, and I hope they realise how grateful I am. I wonder if I shall ever see them again?

That's the Whitestripes I know...good to see you're back as your old self again. :)

Yeah. I decided to read it - I thought it was crap.

Whitestripes wrote:
> I didn't say the post was boring, I said I got bored.

I know...but still... :)

AfroJoe wrote:
> Ooh, no need for the swearing.
>
> One thing results from that - BAN. :-)

I won't swear again but that Cyclone guy was really annoying me.

Why did you change your tagline,I always used to laugh at ' AfroJoe has a sock called Bob '

I didn't say the post was boring, I said I got bored.

Whitestripes wrote:

> Oh, and about your post, I got bored and didn't read it.

I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said about my topics :D

Well technically it is true, but they way you said it was wrong.

Nevermind, all will be explained when I can be bothered to write my metroid post.


Oh, and about your post, I got bored and didn't read it.

Kurt, it's not cool to insult others...unless you're talking about Bill Gates or Gareth Gates, his popstar cousin (note: may not be true)

I'm sure Samus Aran says to the gamer through the means of onscreen text that she can't get out of her suit because it is fused to her...unless something 'frees' her at the end...ofcourse I've been stuck on the same bit for months (probably obvious what I've got to do...) so I don't know how it ends...yet.

Edgy wrote:
yet there's no biological functionality to allow her
> to clear her bodily waste...which I thought was humourous...especially
> in Metroid Fusion where the suit is literally fused to her body.


Both of those statements are false.

But, I don't blame you.