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OK, so this isn’t exactly Grix material, but then again, I ain’t exactly Grix!
A day in the life of one fat plumber.
Once upon a time, in a land not too far away (but far enough to discourage you from travelling there), there lived a fat plumber by the name of Mario. Mario lived a merry life. There was Luigi his thinner, taller, pussier brother (who had a tendency to scream like a girl when ghosts appeared). Then there was Princess Peach, the Princess who had a fascination with pink and also enjoyed baking the odd cake. Next, there was... hang on a sec, this could go on for ages! Let’s get to the other side of the spectrum – Bowser. Bowser was a reptile (I think), and not a very pleasant one at that. Much to Mario’s annoyance, Bowser often kidnapped Princess Peach for a bit of a laugh. Naturally, being the hero of the story, Mario would have no choice but to rescue the pesky Princess and defeat the evil Bowser once more. However, one day, things didn’t go quite according to plan...
“It’s-a-me, Mario!”
“Shut up ya fat git and unblock me pipes on the double. I’ve got dishes to clean!”
Mario never did like Queen Moudlyapple, but being one of his most regular customers, he wasn’t going to complain about the way she talked to him. Besides, the September 11th attacks had meant pasta prices had gone through the roof, so he needed all the money he could get.
So, set about his work he did, while Luigi was forced to entertain Yoshi, by giving him his daily walks around the local park. Luigi always dreaded this chore, due to Yoshi’s excessive amounts of eternal energy and eagerness to explore.
Anyway, off the two set, Yoshi leading the way, first smelling, then eating most things in site, with Luigi being dragged behind.
This is how it stayed for the next seventeen minutes – Yoshi dragging, Luigi being dragged, until in all in a moment, Yoshi stopped. Luigi picked himself up from the ground, clearly bewildered by the dramatic change in motion, and stared at Yoshi, seventeen metres ahead.
Yoshi had his head held high, with his nose pointing upwards, viciously sniffing. The lime green dinosaur continued to do this for the next seventeen seconds, then suddenly, he came to life and bolted directly towards Luigi. Naturally, Luigi’s first reaction was to scream. To scream like the girl he used to be. Finally, when he came to his senses, he dived out of the reptile’s way just in time to escape certain death. In all the excitement (and screaming), Luigi dropped the lead he had been clutching for the past seventeen minutes (and seventeen seconds).
Cursing his stupidity, Luigi picked himself up off the ground for the second time that day and gazed on as Yoshi charged into the distance. Just when Luigi thought all was lost, Yoshi vanished. It wasn’t that he had gone out of Luigi’s range of view. It wasn’t that he had turned a corner. He just vanished.
Luigi was dumbstruck. So much had happened so quickly, that it was all too much for him. Just as Luigi decided to go break the news to Mario, it happened. The musician cued the dramatic music, and Bowser laughed his wicked laugh. Luigi instantly knew what had happened to Yoshi, and he knew there was only one fat plumber for the job.
“Lui, Lui, Lui…CALM DOWN! I’ll just finish up here, I’ll pack my...hat, and then I’ll go pay ol’ Bowser a visit and get Yoshi back. OK??”
“O…ok, but make sure pack an extra pair of pants…just incase.”
“Incase what?”
“Well, you know...”
“Luigi.”
“Yeah?”
“Same no more.”
“O...ok.”
As the leafless trees violently swayed from side-to-side in the fiery wind, Mario pulled down on the tip on his hat and dug his worn boots deeper into the dry, dusty ground. The road to Bowser’s castle was as pleasant as could be expected – not very, and Mario knew it all too well. He always wondered why Bowser bothered with the grisly aesthetics. It was certain to have cost him a few bob for the likes of the “ThunderBlunder2000” and as for the “FireStarter17”, man, those things are like gold dust. Mario knew it was all fake and it didn’t affect him in the slightest.
After half a day of trekking, Mario finally arrived in Bowser’s domain. Being a fat plumber, Mario always cursed the long hike and was relieved when it was over. After savagely devouring a mini ‘Past-a-go’, Mario was up and ready to go. Mario knew it was time for the easy part – the confrontation with Bowser.
It was the usual story – Bowser taunted Mario as he entered the castle through the main entrance, before practically telling Mario where he was. So, off Mario went, trotting up the, seemingly, endless stairs, before entering a large, cavern-like room with bombs circling the outside. Mario strolled to centre of the room, before a huge impact vibrated the whole floor. Mario spun to catch a glimpse of the ever-ugly Bowser. He seemed a little larger than normal, and was breathing a bit heavier too. Perhaps old age was starting to catch up with him. Momentarily, Mario felt sympathetic towards him. After all, Mario himself was knocking on a bit and he too was starting to feel the affects.
Anyhow, Bowser was the bad guy, and as good guy, it was Mario’s duty to put a temporary end to his evil intentions. As Bowser deeply inhaled, preparing to fill the room with life-threatening flame, Mario performed his savoured triple jump, straight over the dragon’s head. Despite his age, Mario landed with the same precision and elegance as he would of done a decade back. The end was in sight and the pair knew it. Mario reached out and grabbed the thick, scaly tail with both gloved hands and began to swing. To drag a weight seventeen times that of his own was quite incredulous, and not even Mario knew how he managed it. Perhaps it was the high energy content of the ‘Past-a-go’, or maybe it was due to the fact that he was in a videogame.
Whatever the case, Mario swung and swung, as Bowser roared and roared. Finally, Mario let go, and the dragon flew through the air, before being disintegrated after contact with a deadly black bomb. Mario jumped for joy and just as he went to kick Bowser for the fun of it, it happened. The bullet blasted out of the seventeen inch-long barrel and struck Mario in the back. Mario’s vision clouded and began to darken. He managed to turn his neck and get a vague glimpse of the green culprit before losing consciousness.
Is this the end of Mario? Will we learn who the culprit is? Will Yoshi be rescued? Find out, when (and if) I can be bothered to write the conclusion!
Thanks for reading this boring drivel, kingklik.
A day in the life of one fat plumber.
Once upon a time, in a land not too far away (but far enough to discourage you from travelling there), there lived a fat plumber by the name of Mario. Mario lived a merry life. There was Luigi his thinner, taller, pussier brother (who had a tendency to scream like a girl when ghosts appeared). Then there was Princess Peach, the Princess who had a fascination with pink and also enjoyed baking the odd cake. Next, there was... hang on a sec, this could go on for ages! Let’s get to the other side of the spectrum – Bowser. Bowser was a reptile (I think), and not a very pleasant one at that. Much to Mario’s annoyance, Bowser often kidnapped Princess Peach for a bit of a laugh. Naturally, being the hero of the story, Mario would have no choice but to rescue the pesky Princess and defeat the evil Bowser once more. However, one day, things didn’t go quite according to plan...
“It’s-a-me, Mario!”
“Shut up ya fat git and unblock me pipes on the double. I’ve got dishes to clean!”
Mario never did like Queen Moudlyapple, but being one of his most regular customers, he wasn’t going to complain about the way she talked to him. Besides, the September 11th attacks had meant pasta prices had gone through the roof, so he needed all the money he could get.
So, set about his work he did, while Luigi was forced to entertain Yoshi, by giving him his daily walks around the local park. Luigi always dreaded this chore, due to Yoshi’s excessive amounts of eternal energy and eagerness to explore.
Anyway, off the two set, Yoshi leading the way, first smelling, then eating most things in site, with Luigi being dragged behind.
This is how it stayed for the next seventeen minutes – Yoshi dragging, Luigi being dragged, until in all in a moment, Yoshi stopped. Luigi picked himself up from the ground, clearly bewildered by the dramatic change in motion, and stared at Yoshi, seventeen metres ahead.
Yoshi had his head held high, with his nose pointing upwards, viciously sniffing. The lime green dinosaur continued to do this for the next seventeen seconds, then suddenly, he came to life and bolted directly towards Luigi. Naturally, Luigi’s first reaction was to scream. To scream like the girl he used to be. Finally, when he came to his senses, he dived out of the reptile’s way just in time to escape certain death. In all the excitement (and screaming), Luigi dropped the lead he had been clutching for the past seventeen minutes (and seventeen seconds).
Cursing his stupidity, Luigi picked himself up off the ground for the second time that day and gazed on as Yoshi charged into the distance. Just when Luigi thought all was lost, Yoshi vanished. It wasn’t that he had gone out of Luigi’s range of view. It wasn’t that he had turned a corner. He just vanished.
Luigi was dumbstruck. So much had happened so quickly, that it was all too much for him. Just as Luigi decided to go break the news to Mario, it happened. The musician cued the dramatic music, and Bowser laughed his wicked laugh. Luigi instantly knew what had happened to Yoshi, and he knew there was only one fat plumber for the job.
“Lui, Lui, Lui…CALM DOWN! I’ll just finish up here, I’ll pack my...hat, and then I’ll go pay ol’ Bowser a visit and get Yoshi back. OK??”
“O…ok, but make sure pack an extra pair of pants…just incase.”
“Incase what?”
“Well, you know...”
“Luigi.”
“Yeah?”
“Same no more.”
“O...ok.”
As the leafless trees violently swayed from side-to-side in the fiery wind, Mario pulled down on the tip on his hat and dug his worn boots deeper into the dry, dusty ground. The road to Bowser’s castle was as pleasant as could be expected – not very, and Mario knew it all too well. He always wondered why Bowser bothered with the grisly aesthetics. It was certain to have cost him a few bob for the likes of the “ThunderBlunder2000” and as for the “FireStarter17”, man, those things are like gold dust. Mario knew it was all fake and it didn’t affect him in the slightest.
After half a day of trekking, Mario finally arrived in Bowser’s domain. Being a fat plumber, Mario always cursed the long hike and was relieved when it was over. After savagely devouring a mini ‘Past-a-go’, Mario was up and ready to go. Mario knew it was time for the easy part – the confrontation with Bowser.
It was the usual story – Bowser taunted Mario as he entered the castle through the main entrance, before practically telling Mario where he was. So, off Mario went, trotting up the, seemingly, endless stairs, before entering a large, cavern-like room with bombs circling the outside. Mario strolled to centre of the room, before a huge impact vibrated the whole floor. Mario spun to catch a glimpse of the ever-ugly Bowser. He seemed a little larger than normal, and was breathing a bit heavier too. Perhaps old age was starting to catch up with him. Momentarily, Mario felt sympathetic towards him. After all, Mario himself was knocking on a bit and he too was starting to feel the affects.
Anyhow, Bowser was the bad guy, and as good guy, it was Mario’s duty to put a temporary end to his evil intentions. As Bowser deeply inhaled, preparing to fill the room with life-threatening flame, Mario performed his savoured triple jump, straight over the dragon’s head. Despite his age, Mario landed with the same precision and elegance as he would of done a decade back. The end was in sight and the pair knew it. Mario reached out and grabbed the thick, scaly tail with both gloved hands and began to swing. To drag a weight seventeen times that of his own was quite incredulous, and not even Mario knew how he managed it. Perhaps it was the high energy content of the ‘Past-a-go’, or maybe it was due to the fact that he was in a videogame.
Whatever the case, Mario swung and swung, as Bowser roared and roared. Finally, Mario let go, and the dragon flew through the air, before being disintegrated after contact with a deadly black bomb. Mario jumped for joy and just as he went to kick Bowser for the fun of it, it happened. The bullet blasted out of the seventeen inch-long barrel and struck Mario in the back. Mario’s vision clouded and began to darken. He managed to turn his neck and get a vague glimpse of the green culprit before losing consciousness.
Is this the end of Mario? Will we learn who the culprit is? Will Yoshi be rescued? Find out, when (and if) I can be bothered to write the conclusion!
Thanks for reading this boring drivel, kingklik.
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You notables...
Grix Thraves wrote:
Actually, that wasn't too bad at all.
> Well laid
Hur hur hur...
Actually, that wasn't too bad at all.
> Well laid
Hur hur hur...
LOL, I was JOKING. I've never played Luigi's Mansion, haven't got a clue how good it is and don't know the ending.
By the way Scamps, wot ya think of the story?
By the way Scamps, wot ya think of the story?
Do you honestly think it is reveiled at the end of that Luigi used to be a girl? LOL
Trust me, everyone who's imported a Gamecube and a copy of Luigi's Mansion will know exactly what I mean. Damn, just gone and spoilt the end ing...oops!
LOL! Brilliant kingklik :D But what do you mean "Screams like the girl he used to be..."? :D :D
"That Luigi thing... err... that was a joke though. :0)"
If only you knew...
If only you knew...
Really though, it was structured just well enough to keep your attention for each bit.
That Luigi thing... err... that was a joke though. :0)
That Luigi thing... err... that was a joke though. :0)
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