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I got my final piece of coursework back from the teacher today, all marked etc and I got an A* - despite taking the pish totally with it. The task was to write about an important decision we have had to make in our lives and I already had the highest possible grades for other pieces of coursework so decided to be a bit funny with this one. I thought you might enjoy reading it, a lot of my mates read it and found it very funny, hope you enjoy it too.
Think about a difficult decision I have had to make, explain what the decision was and what happened as a result of it.
A difficult decision I had to make occurred at 11:42 on the morning on Sunday the 8th of September, the troubling scenario was what to write for my English homework, which had been set three days previously. The first thought that came into my mind was how late I could leave this coursework and the possible excuses I could make for why my homework wasn’t completed. I decided pretending that my homework had been completed but destroyed was the only possible way to get around the task and escape the boredom it would bring. I considered the classic excuses for my homework not being present but upon realising that I didn’t have a pet dog that could have conveniently eaten it or a baby sibling that could have slyly thrown-up on my English book. I determined that I would have to create an excuse that was not only original but plausible too, this proved excruciatingly difficult and all that I could come up with was that I had been burgled and the robbers had been very interested in literature and took my exercise book along with the VCR and the stereo. I knew this was pathetically stupid and not even a set four student would believe me, I had to make a better excuse.
My mind wandered lightly and I found myself in HMV in Leeds purchasing CDs, I told myself that this wasn’t the way to finding a perfect excuse for not having my homework done, so an hour and a half later my conscience forced me to go home and continue thinking. The trip to Leeds must have proved useful because I had a new and improved justification, I would tell everyone I spent my weekends teaching Eskimos in Iceland to fish and that one of them went crazy and stole my book. I knew this was my best excuse yet however after carefully reviewing the scenario in my head again and again I knew that there was no way anyone would disprove my story and that it was also mildly entertaining but I concluded that Eskimos probably knew how to fish already and wouldn’t need my assistance.
After many more hours of careful deliberation and realising that skipping my English lesson would get me nowhere except WRAPS I thought that watching television would solve my dilemma. Six back-to-back episodes of Knightrider later I felt refreshed and ready to make up new and wonderful lies that would fool anyone!
Moments later I realised I didn’t have a chance of making up an excuse clever enough for this situation and turned to the World Wide Web for a solution, Google provided me with a series of websites about how to counterfeit money, which I book marked to return to later. Lycos was even less useful for helping me create my theory; it became so irritating that I had no other solution but to punch the computer screen. I regretted this deeply because of the grazes on my knuckles and the fact my computer stopped working. I went about ringing a repairman who told me that he doesn’t work weekends, after shouting and swearing at him it dawned on me that he had the perfect excuse! I would simply tell my English teacher that I don’t work weekends, and therefore it was impossible for me to do my homework.
I was happy for the majority of half an hour with this solution but when I realised I also had Thursday night and Friday night in which I could have done the homework, I decided this task couldn’t be achieved be myself but I could receive help from one of the world’s greatest liars. The security at Broadmoor prison were polite in telling me that Jeffery Archer is only allowed monthly visits and I knew I couldn’t wait that long for an excuse! On my walk home I thought I might as well have a look in the video shop to see if they had any films that would build up my lying skills. I returned home gleeful and I knew that this film would make all the difference. After viewing the film several times I knew that I had wasted my £3.50. How was I to know Pinocchio was fictional!
By 7:30pm on Sunday evening I knew I has wasted my entire day and achieved nothing, finding an excuse for not handing in my English homework was possibly the hardest I had ever had to make, and then, the metaphorical light bulb above my head turned on. I would write my English homework about the dilemma of trying to find a way out of it.
I never really did decide on an excuse which would get me out of doing my homework but what resulted in trying to find an excuse was learning that there is no perfect excuse, discovering that Pinocchio is an excellent film and finding out that lying may seem like the easy way out of things but it is much more difficult to find a convincing lie that to do whatever it is that you are trying to avoid. The end product of my 11 and a half hour quest to avoid my homework is possibly the most original piece of English work ever written by anyone, ever.
Think about a difficult decision I have had to make, explain what the decision was and what happened as a result of it.
A difficult decision I had to make occurred at 11:42 on the morning on Sunday the 8th of September, the troubling scenario was what to write for my English homework, which had been set three days previously. The first thought that came into my mind was how late I could leave this coursework and the possible excuses I could make for why my homework wasn’t completed. I decided pretending that my homework had been completed but destroyed was the only possible way to get around the task and escape the boredom it would bring. I considered the classic excuses for my homework not being present but upon realising that I didn’t have a pet dog that could have conveniently eaten it or a baby sibling that could have slyly thrown-up on my English book. I determined that I would have to create an excuse that was not only original but plausible too, this proved excruciatingly difficult and all that I could come up with was that I had been burgled and the robbers had been very interested in literature and took my exercise book along with the VCR and the stereo. I knew this was pathetically stupid and not even a set four student would believe me, I had to make a better excuse.
My mind wandered lightly and I found myself in HMV in Leeds purchasing CDs, I told myself that this wasn’t the way to finding a perfect excuse for not having my homework done, so an hour and a half later my conscience forced me to go home and continue thinking. The trip to Leeds must have proved useful because I had a new and improved justification, I would tell everyone I spent my weekends teaching Eskimos in Iceland to fish and that one of them went crazy and stole my book. I knew this was my best excuse yet however after carefully reviewing the scenario in my head again and again I knew that there was no way anyone would disprove my story and that it was also mildly entertaining but I concluded that Eskimos probably knew how to fish already and wouldn’t need my assistance.
After many more hours of careful deliberation and realising that skipping my English lesson would get me nowhere except WRAPS I thought that watching television would solve my dilemma. Six back-to-back episodes of Knightrider later I felt refreshed and ready to make up new and wonderful lies that would fool anyone!
Moments later I realised I didn’t have a chance of making up an excuse clever enough for this situation and turned to the World Wide Web for a solution, Google provided me with a series of websites about how to counterfeit money, which I book marked to return to later. Lycos was even less useful for helping me create my theory; it became so irritating that I had no other solution but to punch the computer screen. I regretted this deeply because of the grazes on my knuckles and the fact my computer stopped working. I went about ringing a repairman who told me that he doesn’t work weekends, after shouting and swearing at him it dawned on me that he had the perfect excuse! I would simply tell my English teacher that I don’t work weekends, and therefore it was impossible for me to do my homework.
I was happy for the majority of half an hour with this solution but when I realised I also had Thursday night and Friday night in which I could have done the homework, I decided this task couldn’t be achieved be myself but I could receive help from one of the world’s greatest liars. The security at Broadmoor prison were polite in telling me that Jeffery Archer is only allowed monthly visits and I knew I couldn’t wait that long for an excuse! On my walk home I thought I might as well have a look in the video shop to see if they had any films that would build up my lying skills. I returned home gleeful and I knew that this film would make all the difference. After viewing the film several times I knew that I had wasted my £3.50. How was I to know Pinocchio was fictional!
By 7:30pm on Sunday evening I knew I has wasted my entire day and achieved nothing, finding an excuse for not handing in my English homework was possibly the hardest I had ever had to make, and then, the metaphorical light bulb above my head turned on. I would write my English homework about the dilemma of trying to find a way out of it.
I never really did decide on an excuse which would get me out of doing my homework but what resulted in trying to find an excuse was learning that there is no perfect excuse, discovering that Pinocchio is an excellent film and finding out that lying may seem like the easy way out of things but it is much more difficult to find a convincing lie that to do whatever it is that you are trying to avoid. The end product of my 11 and a half hour quest to avoid my homework is possibly the most original piece of English work ever written by anyone, ever.
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Yes, sorry. That should "That got an A*?"
And what the hell do you mean "where is El Womanly"?
And what the hell do you mean "where is El Womanly"?
I am just wondering if you have a partner who uses the forums . . . i.e. El Womanly
It's the way you tell 'em...
:-\
That was a coursework?
That's he kind of thing I have 1 hour to answer in my GCSE after comparing three poems.
Seriously, though.
That's he kind of thing I have 1 hour to answer in my GCSE after comparing three poems.
Seriously, though.
I must admit, that would be worthy of a 2 if you get a lenient marker in Standard grade. Normally, it'd be worth a 3. No writing techniques used, bad grammar, no way would you get a 1. Ever.
gerrid wrote:
> That was a coursework?
> That's he kind of thing I have 1 hour to answer in my GCSE after
> comparing three poems.
> Seriously, though.
It was a 'short' creative writing thing I think, had to be less than 2000 words or something. I wrote it in about an hour or so and didnt make it lengthy as I already have a coursework average of an A/A* and therefore didn't need to get a good grade as I already can submit the courseworks I have already done. I did the piece anyway and tried to make it funny. My English teacher has a sense of humour, that may be why I got a good grade, looking back there is some bad grammar and punctuation in it but hey, who cares!
> That was a coursework?
> That's he kind of thing I have 1 hour to answer in my GCSE after
> comparing three poems.
> Seriously, though.
It was a 'short' creative writing thing I think, had to be less than 2000 words or something. I wrote it in about an hour or so and didnt make it lengthy as I already have a coursework average of an A/A* and therefore didn't need to get a good grade as I already can submit the courseworks I have already done. I did the piece anyway and tried to make it funny. My English teacher has a sense of humour, that may be why I got a good grade, looking back there is some bad grammar and punctuation in it but hey, who cares!
I thought it was kind of funny, as for grade wise, I wish I had your teacher when I was in school, if I'd handed that in at my school I would have been lucky to come out with a C!
'Twas funny though. I enjoyed reading it.
'Twas funny though. I enjoyed reading it.
Kyz22 wrote:
>looking back there is some bad grammar and punctuation in it but hey, who cares!
Did your school get told off for like, 'bending the rules' when OFSTED visited?!?
Just hope your courework folder isn't one of the ones that are sent off for external moderation! If they see that piece and see that it got an A* then the whole year group will have the work recalled and externally moderated...
I had my English and Geography folders sent off in year 11. They marked mine up in the end!
I had my IT folder sent off last year for AS though, they kinda halved the marks!
I'm not trying to have a go btw!
>looking back there is some bad grammar and punctuation in it but hey, who cares!
Did your school get told off for like, 'bending the rules' when OFSTED visited?!?
Just hope your courework folder isn't one of the ones that are sent off for external moderation! If they see that piece and see that it got an A* then the whole year group will have the work recalled and externally moderated...
I had my English and Geography folders sent off in year 11. They marked mine up in the end!
I had my IT folder sent off last year for AS though, they kinda halved the marks!
I'm not trying to have a go btw!
Phi11ip - This is sh!te in comparrison to my other courseworks, I just posted it because it was funny, thats all. I could have posted my 16 page Merchant of Venice coursework which also gained an A*, however I don't think it would have the same comedy value and would be a wee bit long to read.
I am not submitting this as one of my pieces of coursework and I had to re-do part of my media coursework as calling Delia Smith a 'Callous B!tch' wouldn't have gone down well with the examiners. My coursework is one of the ones being sent for moderations as I am one of the higher ranking candidates (I think they select some of the highest, average and poor grades to be sent off) - Anywho, no offence taken Phi11ip :-)
I am not submitting this as one of my pieces of coursework and I had to re-do part of my media coursework as calling Delia Smith a 'Callous B!tch' wouldn't have gone down well with the examiners. My coursework is one of the ones being sent for moderations as I am one of the higher ranking candidates (I think they select some of the highest, average and poor grades to be sent off) - Anywho, no offence taken Phi11ip :-)
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