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I got my final piece of coursework back from the teacher today, all marked etc and I got an A* - despite taking the pish totally with it. The task was to write about an important decision we have had to make in our lives and I already had the highest possible grades for other pieces of coursework so decided to be a bit funny with this one. I thought you might enjoy reading it, a lot of my mates read it and found it very funny, hope you enjoy it too.
Think about a difficult decision I have had to make, explain what the decision was and what happened as a result of it.
A difficult decision I had to make occurred at 11:42 on the morning on Sunday the 8th of September, the troubling scenario was what to write for my English homework, which had been set three days previously. The first thought that came into my mind was how late I could leave this coursework and the possible excuses I could make for why my homework wasn’t completed. I decided pretending that my homework had been completed but destroyed was the only possible way to get around the task and escape the boredom it would bring. I considered the classic excuses for my homework not being present but upon realising that I didn’t have a pet dog that could have conveniently eaten it or a baby sibling that could have slyly thrown-up on my English book. I determined that I would have to create an excuse that was not only original but plausible too, this proved excruciatingly difficult and all that I could come up with was that I had been burgled and the robbers had been very interested in literature and took my exercise book along with the VCR and the stereo. I knew this was pathetically stupid and not even a set four student would believe me, I had to make a better excuse.
My mind wandered lightly and I found myself in HMV in Leeds purchasing CDs, I told myself that this wasn’t the way to finding a perfect excuse for not having my homework done, so an hour and a half later my conscience forced me to go home and continue thinking. The trip to Leeds must have proved useful because I had a new and improved justification, I would tell everyone I spent my weekends teaching Eskimos in Iceland to fish and that one of them went crazy and stole my book. I knew this was my best excuse yet however after carefully reviewing the scenario in my head again and again I knew that there was no way anyone would disprove my story and that it was also mildly entertaining but I concluded that Eskimos probably knew how to fish already and wouldn’t need my assistance.
After many more hours of careful deliberation and realising that skipping my English lesson would get me nowhere except WRAPS I thought that watching television would solve my dilemma. Six back-to-back episodes of Knightrider later I felt refreshed and ready to make up new and wonderful lies that would fool anyone!
Moments later I realised I didn’t have a chance of making up an excuse clever enough for this situation and turned to the World Wide Web for a solution, Google provided me with a series of websites about how to counterfeit money, which I book marked to return to later. Lycos was even less useful for helping me create my theory; it became so irritating that I had no other solution but to punch the computer screen. I regretted this deeply because of the grazes on my knuckles and the fact my computer stopped working. I went about ringing a repairman who told me that he doesn’t work weekends, after shouting and swearing at him it dawned on me that he had the perfect excuse! I would simply tell my English teacher that I don’t work weekends, and therefore it was impossible for me to do my homework.
I was happy for the majority of half an hour with this solution but when I realised I also had Thursday night and Friday night in which I could have done the homework, I decided this task couldn’t be achieved be myself but I could receive help from one of the world’s greatest liars. The security at Broadmoor prison were polite in telling me that Jeffery Archer is only allowed monthly visits and I knew I couldn’t wait that long for an excuse! On my walk home I thought I might as well have a look in the video shop to see if they had any films that would build up my lying skills. I returned home gleeful and I knew that this film would make all the difference. After viewing the film several times I knew that I had wasted my £3.50. How was I to know Pinocchio was fictional!
By 7:30pm on Sunday evening I knew I has wasted my entire day and achieved nothing, finding an excuse for not handing in my English homework was possibly the hardest I had ever had to make, and then, the metaphorical light bulb above my head turned on. I would write my English homework about the dilemma of trying to find a way out of it.
I never really did decide on an excuse which would get me out of doing my homework but what resulted in trying to find an excuse was learning that there is no perfect excuse, discovering that Pinocchio is an excellent film and finding out that lying may seem like the easy way out of things but it is much more difficult to find a convincing lie that to do whatever it is that you are trying to avoid. The end product of my 11 and a half hour quest to avoid my homework is possibly the most original piece of English work ever written by anyone, ever.
Think about a difficult decision I have had to make, explain what the decision was and what happened as a result of it.
A difficult decision I had to make occurred at 11:42 on the morning on Sunday the 8th of September, the troubling scenario was what to write for my English homework, which had been set three days previously. The first thought that came into my mind was how late I could leave this coursework and the possible excuses I could make for why my homework wasn’t completed. I decided pretending that my homework had been completed but destroyed was the only possible way to get around the task and escape the boredom it would bring. I considered the classic excuses for my homework not being present but upon realising that I didn’t have a pet dog that could have conveniently eaten it or a baby sibling that could have slyly thrown-up on my English book. I determined that I would have to create an excuse that was not only original but plausible too, this proved excruciatingly difficult and all that I could come up with was that I had been burgled and the robbers had been very interested in literature and took my exercise book along with the VCR and the stereo. I knew this was pathetically stupid and not even a set four student would believe me, I had to make a better excuse.
My mind wandered lightly and I found myself in HMV in Leeds purchasing CDs, I told myself that this wasn’t the way to finding a perfect excuse for not having my homework done, so an hour and a half later my conscience forced me to go home and continue thinking. The trip to Leeds must have proved useful because I had a new and improved justification, I would tell everyone I spent my weekends teaching Eskimos in Iceland to fish and that one of them went crazy and stole my book. I knew this was my best excuse yet however after carefully reviewing the scenario in my head again and again I knew that there was no way anyone would disprove my story and that it was also mildly entertaining but I concluded that Eskimos probably knew how to fish already and wouldn’t need my assistance.
After many more hours of careful deliberation and realising that skipping my English lesson would get me nowhere except WRAPS I thought that watching television would solve my dilemma. Six back-to-back episodes of Knightrider later I felt refreshed and ready to make up new and wonderful lies that would fool anyone!
Moments later I realised I didn’t have a chance of making up an excuse clever enough for this situation and turned to the World Wide Web for a solution, Google provided me with a series of websites about how to counterfeit money, which I book marked to return to later. Lycos was even less useful for helping me create my theory; it became so irritating that I had no other solution but to punch the computer screen. I regretted this deeply because of the grazes on my knuckles and the fact my computer stopped working. I went about ringing a repairman who told me that he doesn’t work weekends, after shouting and swearing at him it dawned on me that he had the perfect excuse! I would simply tell my English teacher that I don’t work weekends, and therefore it was impossible for me to do my homework.
I was happy for the majority of half an hour with this solution but when I realised I also had Thursday night and Friday night in which I could have done the homework, I decided this task couldn’t be achieved be myself but I could receive help from one of the world’s greatest liars. The security at Broadmoor prison were polite in telling me that Jeffery Archer is only allowed monthly visits and I knew I couldn’t wait that long for an excuse! On my walk home I thought I might as well have a look in the video shop to see if they had any films that would build up my lying skills. I returned home gleeful and I knew that this film would make all the difference. After viewing the film several times I knew that I had wasted my £3.50. How was I to know Pinocchio was fictional!
By 7:30pm on Sunday evening I knew I has wasted my entire day and achieved nothing, finding an excuse for not handing in my English homework was possibly the hardest I had ever had to make, and then, the metaphorical light bulb above my head turned on. I would write my English homework about the dilemma of trying to find a way out of it.
I never really did decide on an excuse which would get me out of doing my homework but what resulted in trying to find an excuse was learning that there is no perfect excuse, discovering that Pinocchio is an excellent film and finding out that lying may seem like the easy way out of things but it is much more difficult to find a convincing lie that to do whatever it is that you are trying to avoid. The end product of my 11 and a half hour quest to avoid my homework is possibly the most original piece of English work ever written by anyone, ever.
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i just spend F****n ages on crswrk jus now :( I NEED CHOCOLATE
Nice, that rocks!
phi11ip wrote:
> He's all backwards, don't mind him...
LMFAO! Geddit? His name, backwards, is backwards! Ah, sheer brilliance! I'll be smilling for like five minutes after reading that.
> He's all backwards, don't mind him...
LMFAO! Geddit? His name, backwards, is backwards! Ah, sheer brilliance! I'll be smilling for like five minutes after reading that.
He's all backwards, don't mind him...
Sdrawkcab wrote:
> El Blokey, I hate you. I don't know you, but I hate you anyway.
Who in the hell are you?
> El Blokey, I hate you. I don't know you, but I hate you anyway.
Who in the hell are you?
If they did give you a higher mark then thats bad teaching, it will make you sit back thinking that stuff like this is top notch!
That's why they always give you ultra low marks in your mocks, it makes you work harder and improve your standard of work for the later exam.
When you're in the exam, no matter how funny or how good the content is, you won't get any grades at all if you can't spell properly and use proper grammar. There may be another kid in your school who wrote something like this and got an A* because it was funny. They will then get the impression that stuff like this gets good marks in exams...
Although humour gets you marks, spelling and grammar is the solid ground for things like this!
That's why they always give you ultra low marks in your mocks, it makes you work harder and improve your standard of work for the later exam.
When you're in the exam, no matter how funny or how good the content is, you won't get any grades at all if you can't spell properly and use proper grammar. There may be another kid in your school who wrote something like this and got an A* because it was funny. They will then get the impression that stuff like this gets good marks in exams...
Although humour gets you marks, spelling and grammar is the solid ground for things like this!
El Blokey wrote:
> You don't get an A* for having an original idea, you get it for having
> an original idea, and executing it well.
>
> Are you sure it got an A* or are you just lying?
Honestly it was an A* - I would scan it for you but the folder with all my work in is at school and has to remain there.
> You don't get an A* for having an original idea, you get it for having
> an original idea, and executing it well.
>
> Are you sure it got an A* or are you just lying?
Honestly it was an A* - I would scan it for you but the folder with all my work in is at school and has to remain there.
El Blokey, I hate you. I don't know you, but I hate you anyway.
You don't get an A* for having an original idea, you get it for having an original idea, and executing it well.
Are you sure it got an A* or are you just lying?
Are you sure it got an A* or are you just lying?
Phi11ip - seeing as it was 'original writing' - perhaps the fact it was very original gained me a lot of marks. Or perhaps my English teacher gave it an A* because he found it funny and knew I wouldn't be submitting it?
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