Viewing Thread:
"Invent a console!"

let's say that you are making a Games console.

What would it be called ?

What features would it have?

and what games would be released on it.

I call mine the 'TechnoDrone'. Using nanotechnology I will create a console so small that it is inserted under the skin, where biomolecular cells connect to vital nerves in the spine, which you use to control the console. Every day at precisely 12:00 the world will stand still, plug themselves into the nearest phone terminal via their cerebral cortex and play their daily dose of 'Monkey Wars' - a game where 5000 people at once are put in a virtual ring and forced to throw rotting monkey corspes at each other. During the game you will be submitted to subliminal messages that make you work more efficiently. The only thing that can stop me is the small band of freedom fighters consiting Arnold Schwarznegger, Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris. Somehow they have removed the consoles and live in the sewers beneath the city.

In a Special Reserve mag far far away..

PSXDreamCubeBox .. Reserve yours now for a £20 deposit 0870 725 9999 | PSXDreamCubeBox.com | in store
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Rakugasoft enter the console market with the most amazing one yet!

Officially the most powerful console ever the Rakugasoft PSXDreamCubeBox has some truly spectacular specs. It's more powerful then any home PC and has support from every software company in the world. With online broadband capability thanks to a mole which drills into the ground and sets up free cable without BT realising and DVD technology among others the PSXDreamCubeBox is every gamers' dream console!
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UK Release Date: April
Expected Price: TBA
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the console will be capable of playing every single game ever made - PC, Snes, Mega Drive, PS 1&2&3&4&5&6...&2000, N64, Gamecube, etc..
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Rakugasoft PSXDreamCubeBox Tech Specs:
Processor: 1MegaGigaHertz CPU
Graphics: Matrix Technology (Stolen from the Aliens in the film the Matrix - makes the graphics look 100% real)
Memory: Of a Human being. Will remember all your important dates such as birthdays (see below) and can be taught things such as Maths and Chemistry (see below).
Ports: Unlimited controllers. USB ports, serial ports and infrared controller ports.
Internet: Online play and surfing through broadband cable for free
DVD: Plays DVD movies and features "Protection from Parents Technology" (see below)
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AMAZING TECHNOLOGY!

- The Infrared port can allow the use of as many controllers as wanted as long as the games support them. The infrared port has a range of 20 metres.

- "Protection from Parents Technology" is a new technology that helps out gamers in hours of need. When your parents tell you to go out and socialise and stop playing games or tell you gaming is bad for you the console will start talking to them explaining the benefit of gaming. And if they still continue to nag it will tie them up until you are ready to let them go. The technology also protects you when watching things your parents might not approve of such as 18 certificate movies and pornography. The console lets of a flash as created by military flashbangs temporarily blinding anyone in the room and while blinded replaces the incriminating DVD with a nice DVD such as Shrek. It hides the incriminating DVD under it.

-“Burglary protection” This wonder console will save your console from the greedy mitts of burglars. It will knock them out cold with an infrared club (sold separately).

- “Fire Protection” In the event of a fire this trustworthy console will save everyone from a certain death. It will also try and put out the fire with the infrared fire extinguisher (sold separately)

-“Brain Memory”. This great console will remember your birthdays and give you added help in games such as giving you unlimited ammo for a day as a present. He will also study your subjects while you are out at school. Due to it’s good memory it will remember all it has taken in and help you with homework. The trusty portable PSXDreamCubeBox Boy Advanced will also help you in important exams like GCSEs. It’s pencil shape will fool even the smartest teachers and will send information into your brain by infrared advanced technology!
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What Special Reserve won't tell you...
-When it starts gathering dust it will go on a mass rampage and take out every opposing console in sight and in certain cases will destroy your home
-Sometimes will grow to clever and will start a rebellion between man and machine
-Sometimes it will nick your credit card while you are out and transfer your money to Rakugasoft
-Cable companies might get suspicious when people are getting free cable...
- You will start finding it diffult to tell the difference between games and reality and lots of people will go mad after playing Grand Theft Auto Future (with flying cars, murdering and drive by bombing)
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*Rakuga wakes up*

good consoles guys.

anyway i've got to dash se ya all monday.

Tiltawhirl wrote:
> Doughnut Monster wrote:
> let's say that you are making a Games
> console.

What would it be called?
Schlong beast 5000 +2

What features
> would it have?
6 million bits graphics thingy, toaster, generates it's own
> power from a hamster wheel, central heating, 20 controller ports, built in
> microwave,


and what games would be released on it.
Erotica Island,
> Panty Raiders, Ben Dover the game,

LOL Imagine a console like this. : ) brilliant

Doughnut Monster wrote:
> let's say that you are making a Games console.

What would it be called?
Schlong beast 5000 +2

What features would it have?
6 million bits graphics thingy, toaster, generates it's own power from a hamster wheel, central heating, 20 controller ports, built in microwave,


and what games would be released on it.
Erotica Island, Panty Raiders, Ben Dover the game,

Meka_Dragon wrote:
> I'd call it "Gwaar" it would be slightly better than anything already
> available in terms of chips and the like.

It would play DVD's, but not CD's.
> There would be a variety of games available for it, each at an incredibly
> affordable price. It would have a broadband modem, and there would be a proper
> network in place to serve it, which would be remarkably cheap, yet still break
> even.

The console would come with 14 speakers, to be placed around your room
> to get the most from the incredibly sound of it. These would be fully compatable
> with all TV's.

It would also be able to make tea, and heat pastry based
> snacks, so that they were warm enough to be enjoyable, but not too hot to burn
> you.

You would buy my machine. Wow now this would be agreat consoleI'd love it.

Built-in teacaddy nice touch Meka!

I'd call it "Gwaar" it would be slightly better than anything already available in terms of chips and the like.

It would play DVD's, but not CD's. There would be a variety of games available for it, each at an incredibly affordable price. It would have a broadband modem, and there would be a proper network in place to serve it, which would be remarkably cheap, yet still break even.

The console would come with 14 speakers, to be placed around your room to get the most from the incredibly sound of it. These would be fully compatable with all TV's.

It would also be able to make tea, and heat pastry based snacks, so that they were warm enough to be enjoyable, but not too hot to burn you.

You would buy my machine.

I'm also sorry for my spelling.

I@m soory in my design plan i forgot to add that it includes a virtual reality helmet and it make british stirling. Mmmmm..... a computer that can make legal tender

Dr nebster crippen wrote:
> The Nebster Machine.
Fastest gameplay ever. Glows in the Dark. Plays any game
> on any console. Chats to your parents so you don't have to speak to them. Gets
> you all the girls and it transforms in to a semi-automatic weapon when needed



Umm err! It would be good if there was one but it'd be unlikely for one to be made.

Good idea though