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"Dear Miyamoto San,"

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Thu 27/03/03 at 19:23
Regular
Posts: 787
Dear Miyamoto,

Having read of this so-called “Gadget Gamecube” I decided that since I couldn’t afford to buy one, I would take my existing cube and modify it into a Gadget ‘Cube. I attached a toaster to one side, and an oven to the other. It seems to give a funny smell when all are on at once. The plastic of the ‘Cube also seems to go a bit droopy, meaning it’s now more of a GameBlob™.
Have I done good?

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: No, my child, the GGC wasn’t real, and only a publicity stunt on a crazy persons part. It would require an advanced cooling system devised by Nintendo. You are lying about GameBlob too, we’ve had it trademarked for years, although I’m sure that’s what you meant too….
_____________________________ _____________________________

Dear Shigsy,

I’ve heard rumours that people have been claiming that games and their associate devices will last forever. HA!!

I sat on a monopoly board – It broke.
I sat on my GameCube – It broke.
I sat on my PC – It squished.
I sat on my TV – It cracked.

After these tragic occurrences, I’ve decided to stop sitting on things. I am in my 27th hour. My legs hurt. Had to scratch finger too. Itchy. Tasty.

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: the GameCube was designed to be as small as possible. I apologise now for any inconveniences its size has caused you. Nintendo of course does not encourage the eating of fingers in any way.
_____________________________ _____________________________

Dear Mr S. Miyamoto,

My GameCube was getting in the way of moving around my house. I decided to duct-tape it to the ceiling. Along with the TV. Caused a whole lotta trouble. I can’t reach to put games into my ‘Cube. I’m stuck playing Disney’s Magic Mirror. I can only touch the L, R & Z buttons on the control pad. It’s duct-taped with the front to the ceiling.

*2 Days Later*

Got my Mum to duct-tape me to the ceiling. Gameplaying problems gone. Didn’t need your help after all. I’m quite hungry though. Started chewing on earlobe. Ear now gone. More news at a later date.

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: …Again Nintendo does not encourage the eating of your own body parts in any way. For any worried readers out there, we will soon include this in our instruction manual, since it is becoming such a wide problem.
_____________________________ _____________________________

Dear Nintendo Game Maker Man,

Your Luigi’s Mansion game is too strong for the likes of me. It literally scared me bald. Why can’t you promote nicer games like that GTA whatchamacallit on the PS2, they don’t make big scary ghosts pop out at you from every corner now do they?

What have you got to say for yourself? …and they say Nintendo games are best for children!

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: Luigi’s Mansion was not designed nor intended to be scary, we apologise for this. Nintendo shall take into account in future your comments. I hope that you can stand by Nintendo and buy our products in future. We are shipping a Luigi’s Mansion SE to you as compensation, where there are no ghosts, fires, or anything that may be harmful.

Or not. Grow up Mr!!

_____________________________ _____________________________

Notice:

Shigeru Miyamoto has declined to answer any more letters in the near future, citing “stupidity” on the writer’s part as the reason.

Of course what he meant to say (or at least what his lawyers said) was that he couldn’t possibly answer so many queries, and has to spend his time working on a new top-secret game.

_____________________________ _____________________________
Thu 27/03/03 at 19:23
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
Dear Miyamoto,

Having read of this so-called “Gadget Gamecube” I decided that since I couldn’t afford to buy one, I would take my existing cube and modify it into a Gadget ‘Cube. I attached a toaster to one side, and an oven to the other. It seems to give a funny smell when all are on at once. The plastic of the ‘Cube also seems to go a bit droopy, meaning it’s now more of a GameBlob™.
Have I done good?

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: No, my child, the GGC wasn’t real, and only a publicity stunt on a crazy persons part. It would require an advanced cooling system devised by Nintendo. You are lying about GameBlob too, we’ve had it trademarked for years, although I’m sure that’s what you meant too….
_____________________________ _____________________________

Dear Shigsy,

I’ve heard rumours that people have been claiming that games and their associate devices will last forever. HA!!

I sat on a monopoly board – It broke.
I sat on my GameCube – It broke.
I sat on my PC – It squished.
I sat on my TV – It cracked.

After these tragic occurrences, I’ve decided to stop sitting on things. I am in my 27th hour. My legs hurt. Had to scratch finger too. Itchy. Tasty.

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: the GameCube was designed to be as small as possible. I apologise now for any inconveniences its size has caused you. Nintendo of course does not encourage the eating of fingers in any way.
_____________________________ _____________________________

Dear Mr S. Miyamoto,

My GameCube was getting in the way of moving around my house. I decided to duct-tape it to the ceiling. Along with the TV. Caused a whole lotta trouble. I can’t reach to put games into my ‘Cube. I’m stuck playing Disney’s Magic Mirror. I can only touch the L, R & Z buttons on the control pad. It’s duct-taped with the front to the ceiling.

*2 Days Later*

Got my Mum to duct-tape me to the ceiling. Gameplaying problems gone. Didn’t need your help after all. I’m quite hungry though. Started chewing on earlobe. Ear now gone. More news at a later date.

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: …Again Nintendo does not encourage the eating of your own body parts in any way. For any worried readers out there, we will soon include this in our instruction manual, since it is becoming such a wide problem.
_____________________________ _____________________________

Dear Nintendo Game Maker Man,

Your Luigi’s Mansion game is too strong for the likes of me. It literally scared me bald. Why can’t you promote nicer games like that GTA whatchamacallit on the PS2, they don’t make big scary ghosts pop out at you from every corner now do they?

What have you got to say for yourself? …and they say Nintendo games are best for children!

**************************** ****************************

Miyamoto says: Luigi’s Mansion was not designed nor intended to be scary, we apologise for this. Nintendo shall take into account in future your comments. I hope that you can stand by Nintendo and buy our products in future. We are shipping a Luigi’s Mansion SE to you as compensation, where there are no ghosts, fires, or anything that may be harmful.

Or not. Grow up Mr!!

_____________________________ _____________________________

Notice:

Shigeru Miyamoto has declined to answer any more letters in the near future, citing “stupidity” on the writer’s part as the reason.

Of course what he meant to say (or at least what his lawyers said) was that he couldn’t possibly answer so many queries, and has to spend his time working on a new top-secret game.

_____________________________ _____________________________
Thu 27/03/03 at 19:32
Regular
Posts: 11,038
Miyamoto said to me once that he would build me a GGC, just for me, even though he hasabsolutely no console desigining skillz...
Thu 27/03/03 at 19:37
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
He was speaking on behalf of Nintendo, silly boy.
Thu 27/03/03 at 19:48
Regular
"Brrrrr."
Posts: 1,864
Hmmmmmm...
Thu 27/03/03 at 20:33
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
Thanks for the constructive comments.
Thu 27/03/03 at 20:45
Regular
"Bicycle"
Posts: 4,899
Hehe... Nice post Memo. I'll start actually writing to people now... They kinda hate me now at a lot of places, as my friend [kindly posing as me] sent them about 20-50 letters a month asking them for free games. Dúmbass.
Thu 27/03/03 at 21:57
Regular
"^_^"
Posts: 3,863
LOL, Brillaint follow up to and originaly brilliant post!
Thu 27/03/03 at 22:07
Regular
"Comfortably Numb"
Posts: 5,591
Nice post. Twas funny.
Thu 27/03/03 at 22:11
Regular
"aka memo aaka gayby"
Posts: 11,948
????
Thu 27/03/03 at 22:12
Regular
"Comfortably Numb"
Posts: 5,591
As i thought...

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