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"I'm an angry mother - hear me roar!"

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Fri 04/04/03 at 16:48
Regular
Posts: 787
To whom it may concern.

My son is an avid games player. By games I do not mean any sort of intellectual game that stimulates the brain like, say, chess. The kind of games he plays are ‘video games’ which he plays on his jaw-droppingly expensive XCube 2 or whatever it is. He has a number of games, of which I hadn’t noticed until now. He seems to spend a lot of his money on these ‘games’, and has quite a collection. I decided to risk my eyesight and watch him play through a few of his profoundly overwhelming games. I saw him play through several games, and found that each game had something terribly wrong with it which could turn my son into a vile rogue.

Game Number One: Super Monkey Balls
The aim of this game, the first he showed me, is to put a little monkey into a ball and send him down a series of dangerous courses, whilst he collects bananas. He then played a golf game with the monkeys in balls, which shocked me beyond belief. More on that in a moment.
Firstly, putting the monkeys into balls. The one thing left out here, intentionally I believe, was the air holes on the ball. Therefore, the monkey would suffocate, and I wouldn’t have minded if you gave the monkeys some sort of oxygen tank, but no, the poor monkey is forced into a ball, where he will cease breathing, suffocate, and die. I own three cats, all of which I hold dear, and the thought of my son strapping these into a ball, pushing it along and seeing it eventually collapse and die has given me several bad dreams already. I would like to give the monster who invented this quite shocking game a good earful.
Secondly, the monkeys in balls are sent down dangerous courses. What did the monkeys do to the person playing the game? Why should they be forced into a little ball and down a dangerous slope, just because they are inferior mammals to us? As well as this, animal rights supporters everywhere should also know that the monkeys can be forced, by the person playing, to collect bananas. I know monkeys like bananas, but they won’t be able to get to them through the wall of the death-trap ball, and the monkeys will be forced to run them over - it’s cruel to the monkeys and it’s a waste of good bananas.
Finally, the golf game. As if the monkeys haven’t been put through enough, you then put them on a field and hit them with sticks, confusing them and causing them physical and mental harm. Have you no souls?
I don’t want my son turning into a cat-suffocating banana waster - do you?

Game Number Two: Grand Thief Auto 3
This game is crazy. The title says it all. ‘Grand Thief’. It’s making a common thief look grand, like royalty. I didn’t queue for ages in the rain to meet a thief, I queued for ages in the rain to meet a Queen. How can you possibly compare the two?
I should've known before I started watching this that it would be bad - thiefs aren’t exactly good are they? (Not to mention the suitability of their fodder for video games, which children will absorb and copy.) I started watching him play this game, which sees a fairly rogue-ish, lower class man walking around a large city.
Firstly, the city looks like a cartoon. If my son becomes an architect when he is older, he will be so brain-washed by this game that he will try to build a sort of cartoon building. No one will want to hire him, and he wil not get hired and then he will become homeless and broker. Are the videogame makers personally trying to harm my son? It certainly seems like it.
And now onto the content of this game. I know it says 18 on the front, but I didn’t think videogames needed ratings. I thought that they were games that stimulate the intellect. How wrong I was. The game has you walking around Library City (or so my son says) killing innocent people, which include gang members, prostitutes, and at the other end of the cycle, old ladies and homeless men. What a disgusting, revolting, sickening idea. Killing gangsters is bad enough. (Killing monkeys i.e. Super Monkey Balls is bad enough.) But old ladies and old homeless men? The most horrible thing is that my son attacked them for no reason other than because they are there. They weren’t threatening him within the game environment. This disgusts me. Further on, an ambulance arrives to save these people - so he kills the ambulance driver, and picks the old lady up himself, only when she is in the back, he stops, waits for her to get out and then punches her - I don’t want to go on, I am too embarassed. At this point I confiscated the game immediately.
It sickens me to see this sort of thing put into a game - a source of fun. Why is it allowed to exist?

Game Number Three: Pro Evolving Soccer
This game seems like a fairly harmless football game. What can possibly go wrong? Seems like such a silly question now.
My son has only owned this game a week, he got it for his birthday. Already, though, he can play the game very skilfully and execute some excellent set pieces. Exceelent, then, he’s good at it, he’s achieving it. Oh, wait. Instead of playing real football, he’s sat inside, rotting his eyes away playing this game. Real football makes a living, and a luxurious living at that. Pro Evolving Soccer, however, does not. Even more, he will play this game so much to the point he shall become invincible at it, and then he will think he is good at football, and he will be wrong, and all his dreams will be crushed. Do Connorme (who make it) really want my son’s heart to be ripped into two?
Also, the game allows you to foul people realistically. This is all good and well, you might think, as it is realistic. But what if my son gets angry, and starts fouling people, and he likes it? He’ll turn into a nasty boy who starts fights. And personally, I don’t want my sons reputation to go down. Evil game.

And at this point I unplugged my sons Gamebox or whatever it is, and have hidden it from him. He will no longer be allowed to play games, and if he goes round to his friends’ houses, I shall make sure to tell their parents not to let him see these vile creations.
I am grateful to have saved my son form turning into a cat suffocating, monkey torturing, banana wasting, old lady shooting bad footballer. I hope other parents out there will be inspired to remove their sons’ computer games from the home.

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs. Mary Furtwangler, Surrey.
Mon 07/04/03 at 20:44
Regular
Posts: 9,494
Ow.

The. Pain.

*cough*
Sun 06/04/03 at 21:18
Regular
"Brrrrr."
Posts: 1,864
FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> The tirst ti'm tnot that tupid
>
> Ha ha - you've got my disease.
> Very few people read your topic.
> Har har har, it hurts so much.

Yay! Pain!
Sun 06/04/03 at 21:16
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
The tirst ti'm tnot that tupid

Ha ha - you've got my disease.
Very few people read your topic.
Har har har, it hurts so much.
Sun 06/04/03 at 20:10
Regular
Posts: 9,494
Is that alliteration or a spelling mistake?

:-)
Sat 05/04/03 at 21:08
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
Mmm .... muchly me malso.
Sat 05/04/03 at 20:32
Regular
"Festivus!"
Posts: 6,228
I enjoyed it muchly
Sat 05/04/03 at 20:12
Regular
Posts: 9,494
So.. did you enjoy my post? Or did you spend all yuor enjoyment on the paedo pokemon?
Sat 05/04/03 at 20:09
Regular
"Festivus!"
Posts: 6,228
I decided to write a v. poor starfox review instead. Enjoy.
Sat 05/04/03 at 20:00
Regular
Posts: 9,494
Yes you are.

Go sit in the corner.
Sat 05/04/03 at 19:57
Regular
"Festivus!"
Posts: 6,228
I was going to write that topic... I must be that sick...

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