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"Fight To Survive..."

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Mon 19/11/01 at 21:40
Regular
Posts: 787
Ever wondered what it would be like to see a real fight between every beet ’em up title, a race with every racing title and a battle to survive with every first person shooter? Well then…you certainly have come to the right place.

This is my theory of the games in action:

Small note: If you want to get the best out of this post, then please may I suggest you read it with a wrestling/boxing commentator expression – Thanks everyone.

And in the blue corner, weighing in at a stunning 14 grams, the highest ranked version in the series, the gruesome undefeated racer of them all…Wiiiipeooouuuout Fuuushiiiooonnn!
And in the red corner, an unbelievable sight ladies and gentleman, weighing in at 2.2 lbs, a new racer in the series, one to avenge the death of his dearly departed, the one, the only, YES! Here it is, for you, tonight, the truly amazing, the utterly fascinating king of its league (hey, you think you got enough names?), the one, the only, Extreeeeeeeme Geeeeeee 3eeeeee.

Well ladies and gentleman…the race is about to begin. Which one of these magnificent racers will be zooming at the end of the final lap? Will it be…Wipeout Fusion (Yeeaahhh!), or Extreme G3? (Yeeaahh!) Ladies and gentleman, you have about five minutes left…please place your bets.

Well the tally votes are in, and, OH! It looks as though neither racer has the advantage here…both are voted equally. Well…we shall let fate decide for us then. Let the race begin!

The racers are at the starting grid, and oh? What’s this...HAHA, it seems that Wipeout has started a little before the buzzer. But don’t worry folks it won’t be long now.
Okay, and their off…
And its XG3 coming into traitorous turn number 4, wow! Wipeout Fusion takes it on the inside…what a race ladies and gentleman. They are completely out of their minds as they enter turn number 5. This is going to be messy! … … …It’s Wipeout! Incredible, a quick manoeuvre, tightly between the terrain and WipeOut takes the lead. But it is way too early to vote off XG3… … ...Amazing, they are now side-by-side – who will it be? XG3 or WipeOut Fusion? They are entering the final turn now…it’s the last stretch…oh, hang in their XG3, “I’ve got 10 riding on you myself”. And it’s. It’s…nnnnnooooohhh! Wipeout Fusion takes it by a millimetre. What a stunning upset folks. Oh well…

Our next event ladies and gentleman, needs no introduction, but…I’ll tell you anyway – it’s one that has been highly anticipated - Tiiiiime Splitteeeeeers and Quaaaaaake, two teams that have always been a favourite to the audience. And look, Captain Ash, leader for the Time Splitters team, just waved to me. “Ahoy Captain. Do me a favour…. kill Quake for me would you. 10,000 rounds of ammo goes to the winner you know. Wouldn’t that be nice”? Captain Ash replies, “Oh, get lost you bug”! What, what? What was that you say? Me say, “That’s it! Okay Quake, kick his butt for me please”.
Anyway…let’s get the show on the road. I want 16 major, one from each squadron.
Now that the teams are picked, let’s finally get on with it. PLEASE!
Right. First shot? Who is that…oh yeah …Captain Ash makes the first kill. Oh no…the Quake Devil has stolen the Time Splitters mascot. “Not to worry,” shouts Captain what’s-his-face, “I’ll get it”…suddenly the audience here a big BANG! ‘Captain Ugly’ stumbles over a mine. HAHAHAHAHA! Serves you right. Okay…now…who’s left…ah yes…The Rookie, The Devil, and…The Ghost? Whoever he is, can’t take it any more and shoots himself. Rookie plans an attack on the Devil…yes…he’s got him cornered now. He approaches the devil…going up for the kill…. but wait! What’s this? Sniper Wolf, one of Liquid Snake's most deadliest allies, settles within the heights of the arena, aims closely to Rookie’s head and shoots. “You missed” shouts the Rookie, (don’t ask me how) and turns around and takes out Sniper Wolf using a matrix-style attack manoeuvre.

So…who’s next on the list?

Ah yes, of course. How could I forget… … …

And now for out next event ladies and gentleman…this is the one you have all been waiting for. Here they are, in the green corner, (I haven’t the clue for why I chose green, lol) the tag team champions of the beet ‘em up genre, carrying with them the belt of the 'King Of Iron Fist'. You know who it is…YEP! Tekkkeennnnn Taaaggg Fiiiiighteeeeersssss!
But wait, what’s this…unfortunately, there has been a slight change of plan folks, and it looks like the 'Fatal Fury' gang won’t be making their appearance here this evening. News just broke out that they were jumped by Street Fighters, Ryu, Guile, Ken and Vega. But the fun is not over yet ladies and gentleman…because they are here with us tonight. In the yellow corner, we have the Streeeeeettt Fiiiighteeerrrsss. Looks like Tekken Tag will have some competition after all. HAHA

The fight is about to begin folks. As you can see, there are hot-dog stands and coke fountains near by…please stop off and return back in five minutes to place your bets... … …
Welcome back, evvvveryboddddyyyy. Okay…stuffed your face with hot-dogs and fries? Drank like a camel? Made your bets? What! You haven’t made you bets yet...HAHA well then in that case…MAAAKE YOUUUURRR BEEEEETTTTSSSS! Well...that got ‘em. Thank you.

Ryu throws out a stiff jab, and another, and another. Jin taking punishment, trying to get inside, he’s completely…no wait…. Jin fights back. "Yes, go on my son". It’s Jin with the left hand, and another one by Jin. He is giving him everything he’s got. Ryu’s face looks like a pizza. Freddy Krueger will have nightmares over THIS fight. 1, 2, ……7, 8, 9, 9 ½, 9 ¾, please Ryu get up…10. Your out! Oh well…another bet of mine down the drain.

Well ladies and gentleman. It has been one hell of day…total mayhem all over and… … ….Oh no! Ryu is heading towards me and boy does he look mad! He’s running, shouting that the fight was unfair, that he should have not gone up against the mighty Jin Kazama. He also shouts that Jin cheated and used the devil mode.
Well…what could I do, except…RRRUUUUUNNNNN!!!

Anyway ladies and gentleman, I really hope you enjoyed today’s matches.

I’m here all week…
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Mon 19/11/01 at 21:40
Regular
"Evil Ryu"
Posts: 386
Ever wondered what it would be like to see a real fight between every beet ’em up title, a race with every racing title and a battle to survive with every first person shooter? Well then…you certainly have come to the right place.

This is my theory of the games in action:

Small note: If you want to get the best out of this post, then please may I suggest you read it with a wrestling/boxing commentator expression – Thanks everyone.

And in the blue corner, weighing in at a stunning 14 grams, the highest ranked version in the series, the gruesome undefeated racer of them all…Wiiiipeooouuuout Fuuushiiiooonnn!
And in the red corner, an unbelievable sight ladies and gentleman, weighing in at 2.2 lbs, a new racer in the series, one to avenge the death of his dearly departed, the one, the only, YES! Here it is, for you, tonight, the truly amazing, the utterly fascinating king of its league (hey, you think you got enough names?), the one, the only, Extreeeeeeeme Geeeeeee 3eeeeee.

Well ladies and gentleman…the race is about to begin. Which one of these magnificent racers will be zooming at the end of the final lap? Will it be…Wipeout Fusion (Yeeaahhh!), or Extreme G3? (Yeeaahh!) Ladies and gentleman, you have about five minutes left…please place your bets.

Well the tally votes are in, and, OH! It looks as though neither racer has the advantage here…both are voted equally. Well…we shall let fate decide for us then. Let the race begin!

The racers are at the starting grid, and oh? What’s this...HAHA, it seems that Wipeout has started a little before the buzzer. But don’t worry folks it won’t be long now.
Okay, and their off…
And its XG3 coming into traitorous turn number 4, wow! Wipeout Fusion takes it on the inside…what a race ladies and gentleman. They are completely out of their minds as they enter turn number 5. This is going to be messy! … … …It’s Wipeout! Incredible, a quick manoeuvre, tightly between the terrain and WipeOut takes the lead. But it is way too early to vote off XG3… … ...Amazing, they are now side-by-side – who will it be? XG3 or WipeOut Fusion? They are entering the final turn now…it’s the last stretch…oh, hang in their XG3, “I’ve got 10 riding on you myself”. And it’s. It’s…nnnnnooooohhh! Wipeout Fusion takes it by a millimetre. What a stunning upset folks. Oh well…

Our next event ladies and gentleman, needs no introduction, but…I’ll tell you anyway – it’s one that has been highly anticipated - Tiiiiime Splitteeeeeers and Quaaaaaake, two teams that have always been a favourite to the audience. And look, Captain Ash, leader for the Time Splitters team, just waved to me. “Ahoy Captain. Do me a favour…. kill Quake for me would you. 10,000 rounds of ammo goes to the winner you know. Wouldn’t that be nice”? Captain Ash replies, “Oh, get lost you bug”! What, what? What was that you say? Me say, “That’s it! Okay Quake, kick his butt for me please”.
Anyway…let’s get the show on the road. I want 16 major, one from each squadron.
Now that the teams are picked, let’s finally get on with it. PLEASE!
Right. First shot? Who is that…oh yeah …Captain Ash makes the first kill. Oh no…the Quake Devil has stolen the Time Splitters mascot. “Not to worry,” shouts Captain what’s-his-face, “I’ll get it”…suddenly the audience here a big BANG! ‘Captain Ugly’ stumbles over a mine. HAHAHAHAHA! Serves you right. Okay…now…who’s left…ah yes…The Rookie, The Devil, and…The Ghost? Whoever he is, can’t take it any more and shoots himself. Rookie plans an attack on the Devil…yes…he’s got him cornered now. He approaches the devil…going up for the kill…. but wait! What’s this? Sniper Wolf, one of Liquid Snake's most deadliest allies, settles within the heights of the arena, aims closely to Rookie’s head and shoots. “You missed” shouts the Rookie, (don’t ask me how) and turns around and takes out Sniper Wolf using a matrix-style attack manoeuvre.

So…who’s next on the list?

Ah yes, of course. How could I forget… … …

And now for out next event ladies and gentleman…this is the one you have all been waiting for. Here they are, in the green corner, (I haven’t the clue for why I chose green, lol) the tag team champions of the beet ‘em up genre, carrying with them the belt of the 'King Of Iron Fist'. You know who it is…YEP! Tekkkeennnnn Taaaggg Fiiiiighteeeeersssss!
But wait, what’s this…unfortunately, there has been a slight change of plan folks, and it looks like the 'Fatal Fury' gang won’t be making their appearance here this evening. News just broke out that they were jumped by Street Fighters, Ryu, Guile, Ken and Vega. But the fun is not over yet ladies and gentleman…because they are here with us tonight. In the yellow corner, we have the Streeeeeettt Fiiiighteeerrrsss. Looks like Tekken Tag will have some competition after all. HAHA

The fight is about to begin folks. As you can see, there are hot-dog stands and coke fountains near by…please stop off and return back in five minutes to place your bets... … …
Welcome back, evvvveryboddddyyyy. Okay…stuffed your face with hot-dogs and fries? Drank like a camel? Made your bets? What! You haven’t made you bets yet...HAHA well then in that case…MAAAKE YOUUUURRR BEEEEETTTTSSSS! Well...that got ‘em. Thank you.

Ryu throws out a stiff jab, and another, and another. Jin taking punishment, trying to get inside, he’s completely…no wait…. Jin fights back. "Yes, go on my son". It’s Jin with the left hand, and another one by Jin. He is giving him everything he’s got. Ryu’s face looks like a pizza. Freddy Krueger will have nightmares over THIS fight. 1, 2, ……7, 8, 9, 9 ½, 9 ¾, please Ryu get up…10. Your out! Oh well…another bet of mine down the drain.

Well ladies and gentleman. It has been one hell of day…total mayhem all over and… … ….Oh no! Ryu is heading towards me and boy does he look mad! He’s running, shouting that the fight was unfair, that he should have not gone up against the mighty Jin Kazama. He also shouts that Jin cheated and used the devil mode.
Well…what could I do, except…RRRUUUUUNNNNN!!!

Anyway ladies and gentleman, I really hope you enjoyed today’s matches.

I’m here all week…

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