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"Hello. Today, we catch up with Mark Reece, as we interview him about his astonishing book, "From shelf stacker to president- one Albino's tale of Beans and tampons."
"Mark, so, what started off the legacy that is Mark Reece?"
"My Parents! ROTFFLMFAO!"
"Yes, but what did you originally work as in Sainsbury's?"
"It all started with a simple idea. I needed money. I got drunk, and on my many adventures of weird happenings in Wales, I broke our Toilet seat. My rear had just become accustomed to that seat, too! So I had to get a job to pay for it. Sainsbury's seemed like the ideal place."
"Toilet seats you say?"
"Yeah, anyway, as I was saying, Sainsbury's was ideal. I was given the task of replenishing the shelves of the groceries. Now, while this sounded crap, it led to some of the funniest things. Some days, Tins of beans would roll down the aisle, whilst I would run after it, 'pretending' that II couldn't catch up with it. You'd be surprised how many people help you with a baked bean crisis."
"ooh"
"Heh, sounds like an orgasm. And one time I walked around the whole day with a big fat pink sticky label on my shoe. Carl said I looked "Well 'ard."
"Yes, I would feel quite the strong one with a pink label on my foot, too. Moving on. How did you get a promotion?"
"Well, it was around the time that caerphilly started to feature heavily in my life. Chips used to ramble on about it, each time I’d tell him that it was just "A bloody hill!" Never did I realise its potential, until a few years ago. I opened the first Sainsbury's to be located way up a hill. Business literally boomed. I was soon promoted to manager of that store."
"Wow, up a hill. So simple, yet so cunning"
"Cunning sounds like… hehehehe. ROFFLMFAO! Anyway, after expanding the store, we realised that the hill was just too small. So I chose a new location. After realising that I was, indeed, an astonishing albino-man, I promptly contacted the head office with a suggestion."
"Pray tell, what was it?"
"Worst. Interviewer. Ever. I suggested that I should become the new Sainsbury's advertising person. They thought it was a great idea, told Jamie Oliver to bagger off and made me head of marketing."
"Amazing!"
"Yeah. So was your mum! ROTFFLMFAO! So anyway, I had these Albino-powers. Like one time I saved the British people from Gas-man, who turned up the gas in people's houses, which increased their bills and forced them to fight evil bureaucratic British Gas employees. So I kicked him in, and saved the day. This made Sainsbury's famous! Everyone wanted to say thank-you by buying stuff from our chain! I became so successful that I was promoted to vice president."
"Super!"
"Oh dear God. So, this was about the time that I encountered my SR foes- Whitestripes, Top Score and the diabolical Bazzman. After any mishaps and crazy monkey-fuelled adventures, I finally came out on top. And then I met Ellen. She stood out from all the other sheep, mainly because she was a human! ROTFFLMFAO!"
"Mrs. Sainsbury's?"
"Yeah, I guess. So then I decided to go for President. I knew I could do it. I wandered onto the shop floor for a while, thinking about strategies, when a woman came up to ask me a question, "Where are the tampons please?" I pointed behind here and said, "There, tsk!"
"Tsk?"
"Yeah, tsk. Anyway, she left the store and recommended my cheeky, yet witty tsk remark. Soon it became famous, and before long, I became president. And then I saw a blimp…
"We'll have to stop you there. So Ladies, Gentlemen and the sheep population of Wales, this is proof that you can achieve anything with simple marketing ideas. Oh, and a little bit of Welsh magic"
"Mark, so, what started off the legacy that is Mark Reece?"
"My Parents! ROTFFLMFAO!"
"Yes, but what did you originally work as in Sainsbury's?"
"It all started with a simple idea. I needed money. I got drunk, and on my many adventures of weird happenings in Wales, I broke our Toilet seat. My rear had just become accustomed to that seat, too! So I had to get a job to pay for it. Sainsbury's seemed like the ideal place."
"Toilet seats you say?"
"Yeah, anyway, as I was saying, Sainsbury's was ideal. I was given the task of replenishing the shelves of the groceries. Now, while this sounded crap, it led to some of the funniest things. Some days, Tins of beans would roll down the aisle, whilst I would run after it, 'pretending' that II couldn't catch up with it. You'd be surprised how many people help you with a baked bean crisis."
"ooh"
"Heh, sounds like an orgasm. And one time I walked around the whole day with a big fat pink sticky label on my shoe. Carl said I looked "Well 'ard."
"Yes, I would feel quite the strong one with a pink label on my foot, too. Moving on. How did you get a promotion?"
"Well, it was around the time that caerphilly started to feature heavily in my life. Chips used to ramble on about it, each time I’d tell him that it was just "A bloody hill!" Never did I realise its potential, until a few years ago. I opened the first Sainsbury's to be located way up a hill. Business literally boomed. I was soon promoted to manager of that store."
"Wow, up a hill. So simple, yet so cunning"
"Cunning sounds like… hehehehe. ROFFLMFAO! Anyway, after expanding the store, we realised that the hill was just too small. So I chose a new location. After realising that I was, indeed, an astonishing albino-man, I promptly contacted the head office with a suggestion."
"Pray tell, what was it?"
"Worst. Interviewer. Ever. I suggested that I should become the new Sainsbury's advertising person. They thought it was a great idea, told Jamie Oliver to bagger off and made me head of marketing."
"Amazing!"
"Yeah. So was your mum! ROTFFLMFAO! So anyway, I had these Albino-powers. Like one time I saved the British people from Gas-man, who turned up the gas in people's houses, which increased their bills and forced them to fight evil bureaucratic British Gas employees. So I kicked him in, and saved the day. This made Sainsbury's famous! Everyone wanted to say thank-you by buying stuff from our chain! I became so successful that I was promoted to vice president."
"Super!"
"Oh dear God. So, this was about the time that I encountered my SR foes- Whitestripes, Top Score and the diabolical Bazzman. After any mishaps and crazy monkey-fuelled adventures, I finally came out on top. And then I met Ellen. She stood out from all the other sheep, mainly because she was a human! ROTFFLMFAO!"
"Mrs. Sainsbury's?"
"Yeah, I guess. So then I decided to go for President. I knew I could do it. I wandered onto the shop floor for a while, thinking about strategies, when a woman came up to ask me a question, "Where are the tampons please?" I pointed behind here and said, "There, tsk!"
"Tsk?"
"Yeah, tsk. Anyway, she left the store and recommended my cheeky, yet witty tsk remark. Soon it became famous, and before long, I became president. And then I saw a blimp…
"We'll have to stop you there. So Ladies, Gentlemen and the sheep population of Wales, this is proof that you can achieve anything with simple marketing ideas. Oh, and a little bit of Welsh magic"
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Wahey Chipseh!!!
It is?
Scary, but true!
:D
Scary, but true!
:D
Heh, and the funny thing is, Thornhill store of Sainsburies is on a hill (the store Dark Mark works at)
I burned it in the naked dance of the feebends
Phwar har!
Slender loris fur.
And I'm getting married in 20 minutes!!
WHATEVER WILL I WEAR?!
WHATEVER WILL I WEAR?!
gerrid wrote:
> Where?!?
> KILL IT! KILL IT!
*
What gerrid doesn't realise is that I used my albino powers to steal his underwear.
> Where?!?
> KILL IT! KILL IT!
*
What gerrid doesn't realise is that I used my albino powers to steal his underwear.
Where?!?
KILL IT! KILL IT!
KILL IT! KILL IT!
This product is endorsed by "The Astonishing Albino-Man™"
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