The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
"The overall look sits surprisingly comfortably between Disneyesque rosy cheeks, and the sexier, streamlined aesthetic of Japanese anime. In this way the game meets traditional expectations of how a platformer should be drawn but undercuts all that wholesomeness with a dash of disquietude."
WHAT!?!?
What a bunch of .
That is quite possbily the stupidest two sentences I've ever read. Shall I give you the sentence once it's been through the fabled "YH Universal Crap Removing Translator"? Well, here is the result:
"The game looks cartoony. But as this is for the PS2, the word cartoony is banned. So we'll mix in some rubbish about Japanese anime (which are cartoons themselves, but we hope people forget this). Failing that, we'll make the sentence so damn stupid people can't be bothered to re-read it 1,785 times to work out what it means."
Bit of a difference between the two there, isn't there?
But why do magazines do this? Why use ridiculously long winded ways of saying things, just to meet the word count?
Do you know what disquietude means? It means this:
dis·qui·e·tude (ds-kw-td, -tyd)
n.
Worried unease; anxiety: a state of brooding disquietude about a colleague's success
How the hell can you say that about a damn picture?!?
Oh, this picture looks uneasy. WHAT!?!?
What a load of rubbish.
Anyway, I think I've made my feelings clear on that one, so while I'm on the subject of screenshots, here's another one for you:
Why do screenshots of console games look so bad in magazines? PC screenshots look good in magazines, both look good on the web, but console screenshots - in a printed magazine, look like they were done by a blind four year old with no arms.
Why is this?
> What if one is right though? It's not that Cainer bloke, he's useless.
Or the
> one in The Sun. My love life is amazing according to that... but I think
> everyone's is too.
"You will do nothing today. Your love life will
> remain dead, and you will find no money whatsoever."
If you can find
> that one anywhere for Leo, then follow that one.
Heh, I know how you feel.
Considering your birthday is only 2 DAYS AFTER MINE!!! WOW!!! :D
Or the one in The Sun. My love life is amazing according to that... but I think everyone's is too.
"You will do nothing today. Your love life will remain dead, and you will find no money whatsoever."
If you can find that one anywhere for Leo, then follow that one.
If these were true, why arent they the same in different newspapers?
Don't buy either any more though. Any news I get is from websites. If there's any decent news in a mag, it gets scanned in anyway.
Not really the attitude to have, but hell, the only reason I would buy one now would be for demos on the front. Reviews don't really mean much to me any more, I can just look at stuff online, or ask friends.
On the subject on fortune tellers, why don't they just say "You want your fortune told." instead of just asking you? Kinda messes up the whole system of knowing the future and all. Especially when that person then turns around and says "No I don't."
There must be a sentence that allows any answer to be the right one...
Balanced reviews: a mdium game gets a medium score - 50% opposed to the 70% that other magazines give to medicore games.
Classics get over 90%, only about 10 of these scores given in the last 18months - when they say a game is good, they mean it.
It's just a shame they don't do console games as well....
Nonce talk in reviews?
How dare they talk twaddle?
Mind you it beats NOM.
"With graphics so scary you'll poop your pants"
They seem unable to strike a happy medium.
Mind you, I've never met a happy medium, they all seem pretty emotionless, as they ask if you want your fortune told.
as or a Japanese anime thats just complete bollards :-)
"Initially, Artic Thunder's as eye-catchinly destructive as Arnold Schwarzenneger in a sequined jacket."
Source: PSM2 Issue#16
I reckon it's the same bloke again. Probably spent the entire night before the deadline thinking that one up.