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First picture is this:
http://www.swordspines.com/pictures/contest1.jpg
Get going.
No prize. It's just a laugh. Best will be chosen though.
"He must go to some disturbing web-sites for that type of stuff...."
You don't know the half of it. Worry less about that and more about the caption.
"Just one more frag and sister Mary gains the much sought after "ultimate killer whilst simultaneously trying to touch your nose with your tongue" award.