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"I was running with a box so I couldn't see what was under my feet then my feet got caught up in some wrapping and I tripped over and hurt myself. Clearly this was the companies fault for allowing me to run and not supplying see-through boxes and little gnomes to say 'Oy idiot stop running when you can't see what's under your feet'. I got £8000 for being an person who lacks any sort of commonsense"
"I was too stupid to realise a ladder with no support would slip down a wall if I tried to climb it, clearly this is the companies fault and I got 3 squillion dollars and am currently suing god for putting the ground there."
"I was too busy letching at the little kids on the pavement that I crashed into another car. Thankfully I quick-wittedly blamed it on the placing of the busstop and nobody thinks I'm a child molester. I got £10,000 which I've used to put a playground in my front garden"
"I'm not aware of vehicles in my workplace so I was very surprised to find myself crushed by a forklift. Clearly it's not my fault I wasn't careful when working near people operating machinery and blatantly wasn't cutting corners but not being careful where I placed myself. I was given the entire country of New Guinea and am currently waging a war against the Mysterons who have invaded my fridge."
"I have rubbish impractical shoes so when I walked across a wet floor and slipped and injured myself. I am currently suing the incontinent OAP who was walking infront of me at the time."
"I was too stupid to realise a ladder with no support would slip down a wall if I tried to climb it, clearly this is the companies fault and I got 3 squillion dollars and am currently suing god for putting the ground there."
"I was too busy letching at the little kids on the pavement that I crashed into another car. Thankfully I quick-wittedly blamed it on the placing of the busstop and nobody thinks I'm a child molester. I got £10,000 which I've used to put a playground in my front garden"
"I'm not aware of vehicles in my workplace so I was very surprised to find myself crushed by a forklift. Clearly it's not my fault I wasn't careful when working near people operating machinery and blatantly wasn't cutting corners but not being careful where I placed myself. I was given the entire country of New Guinea and am currently waging a war against the Mysterons who have invaded my fridge."
"I have rubbish impractical shoes so when I walked across a wet floor and slipped and injured myself. I am currently suing the incontinent OAP who was walking infront of me at the time."
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Oh and I haven't quoted this from anywhere. The adverts inspired me to parody them.
"I was running with a box so I couldn't see what was under my feet then my feet got caught up in some wrapping and I tripped over and hurt myself. Clearly this was the companies fault for allowing me to run and not supplying see-through boxes and little gnomes to say 'Oy idiot stop running when you can't see what's under your feet'. I got £8000 for being an person who lacks any sort of commonsense"
"I was too stupid to realise a ladder with no support would slip down a wall if I tried to climb it, clearly this is the companies fault and I got 3 squillion dollars and am currently suing god for putting the ground there."
"I was too busy letching at the little kids on the pavement that I crashed into another car. Thankfully I quick-wittedly blamed it on the placing of the busstop and nobody thinks I'm a child molester. I got £10,000 which I've used to put a playground in my front garden"
"I'm not aware of vehicles in my workplace so I was very surprised to find myself crushed by a forklift. Clearly it's not my fault I wasn't careful when working near people operating machinery and blatantly wasn't cutting corners but not being careful where I placed myself. I was given the entire country of New Guinea and am currently waging a war against the Mysterons who have invaded my fridge."
"I have rubbish impractical shoes so when I walked across a wet floor and slipped and injured myself. I am currently suing the incontinent OAP who was walking infront of me at the time."
"I was too stupid to realise a ladder with no support would slip down a wall if I tried to climb it, clearly this is the companies fault and I got 3 squillion dollars and am currently suing god for putting the ground there."
"I was too busy letching at the little kids on the pavement that I crashed into another car. Thankfully I quick-wittedly blamed it on the placing of the busstop and nobody thinks I'm a child molester. I got £10,000 which I've used to put a playground in my front garden"
"I'm not aware of vehicles in my workplace so I was very surprised to find myself crushed by a forklift. Clearly it's not my fault I wasn't careful when working near people operating machinery and blatantly wasn't cutting corners but not being careful where I placed myself. I was given the entire country of New Guinea and am currently waging a war against the Mysterons who have invaded my fridge."
"I have rubbish impractical shoes so when I walked across a wet floor and slipped and injured myself. I am currently suing the incontinent OAP who was walking infront of me at the time."
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