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"Ask your Nan"

Think of me like Claire Raynor.
If you need some nice calm advice or just want to talk over a nice cup of tea and some shortbread, then this is the place to come.

I may not be "with it" on computer games, but I can give it a shot.

Thank's nan for all your help.

Don't believe my chimp like friend he never got shot at the most excitement he's ever had was when he had a hot milky drink at bed time in a brightly coloured glass.

Ha! running around bomb sites was a picnic to what I had to do when I was a kid. If you had both your knee caps blown out by a Mexican bandit then you were occupied other wise you got very bored indeed.

Cruelness yes, I dont know about trickery.

I think this fable is saying that regardless of what you do or say, if someone wishes to have at you, then they will find a reason.

Much like these kids that waste passion on arguing about consoles and the like.
We didnt have consoles, we had to forage bomb-sites for toys and then run about with sticks.

Hmmmm(he says stroking his beard) an interesting story of trickery and cruelness me thinks.

Aesop Fable: Wolf and The Lamb
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A Wolf was drinking at a spring on a hillside. On looking up he saw a Lamb just beginning to drink lower down. "There's my supper," thought he, "if only I can find some excuse to seize it." He called out to the Lamb, "How dare you muddle my drinking water?"

"No," said the Lamb; "if the water is muddy up there, I cannot be the cause of it, for it runs down from you to me."

"Well, then," said the Wolf, "why did you call me bad names this time last year?"

"That cannot be," said the Lamb; "I am only six months old."

"I don't care," snarled the Wolf; "if it was not you, it was your father;" and with that he rushed upon the poor little Lamb and ate her all up
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Moral?
A tyrant will always find reason to attack.

Where's my story, nan?

I'm not a doctor but the only choice here is to chop the whole thing(yes it will hurt) off completely and hide it in the sausage department at tesco to scare the children.

Take some St John's Wurt before you sleep and stop playing with egg-shells.

Or a poultice made from vaporub, ginger root and ginseng.

Nan, I have this rather ugly boil.

It's on my, well you know, thingy.

What should I do?