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Nt.: Welcome to the Tony Springer Show!!
---------
Audience: TONY TONY TONY.......
Tony: Todayís show is about how gamers can take their console habits.....just a little too far!...
......."I slept with my best friends PS2"
This is what some gamers do in their spare time. Turbonutterís best friend Tiltawhirl has been sleeping with his Playstation 2. Of course Turbonutter is unaware of this at present but Tiltawhirl is soon to change this.
Tony: *to tiltawhirl* Well, the good news is, your lingerie matches our chairs.
Tiltawhirl: Thatís a good thing?
Tony: What's that tattoo say?
*Tiltawhirl pulls his bra down to reveal the whole tattoo and runs at Tony*
*Tony runs into audience*
Tony: I'll take your word for it, just tell me what it says.
Tiltawhirl: I love Sony 4 eva!
Tony: So, what have you come on this show to tell us then Tiltawhirl?
Man from Audience (SHEEPY): ëCOS HE LIKES CHEESE!
Tony: Hmmmmmm
Tiltawhirl: No, Nothing to do with cheese actually.
Sheepy again: SOMETHING TO DO WITH MONKEYS?
Tiltawhirl: NO! Id like to tell Turbonutter that I've been sleeping with his Playstation 2.
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH
Tony: OUCH!..... Well you canít be more honest than that! Lets bring out Turbonutter!
*Turbonutter enters hugging his PS2 against his body*
Tony: So Turbo...Do you know why youíre on the show today? I see youíve bought your PS2 along with you.
Turbonutter: To be honest Tony, I have my suspicions. I get the feeling it may have something to do with my beloved Playstation and itís fantastically fast 405mhz processor and itís great number of polygons per second on screen. The GameCube canít handle this power...but I cant be sure...and I have been known to make mistakes in the past.....from time to time.
Tony: Well, Tiltawhirl has something to tell you. Go on Tiltawhirl, tell him.
Tiltawhirl: Ahem, something has been going on between your PS2 and I Turbo. Iím errr, sorry.
Turbonutter: I knew it. I KNEW IT! I knew that if I...
Titlawhirl: Well if you kept your PS2 happy it would have never cried out for some action. All you ever gave it was Fantavision and The Weakest Link. I mean....
Turbonutter: Why you son of a *beep*. I thought I knew you. Obviously I was mistaken. How could you do this to me? How could you this to my PS2? HOW?
Tiltawhirl: HEY DONíT SHOUT AT ME!!!
Turbonutter: IíLL SHOUT AT WHOEVER THE *beep* I WANT!
Tony: Hey calm down guys. We donít want a fight on our hands. *Whispers* Fight, fight.
*Turbonutter places his PS2 on the ground and jumps at Tiltawhirl, throwing his fists in a wave of anger and fury.*
*At this point, Ali runs on stage and pulls Turbonutter off Tiltawhirl.*
Tony: Hey keep your pantyhose on guys. Okay, lets have some views from the audience. You up their with the ëWLTí shirt on. Whatís your name?
RBS: RastaBillySkank. Although my friends call me Chris.
Tony: Okay RBS, whatís your view on the matter.
RBS: Errrrr, I think that Turbonutter should give the PS2 what it wants. Give it MGS2. Give it GT3. Itíll be happy then. Although itíll never be truly happy without Nintendo games.
*A particular segment of the audience (namely the Nintys) clap*
Tony: *pointing to another member of audience* Obviously you think differently. Whatís your name?
Strafex: My name is Strafex and it is blatently obvious that these two are sick individuals. I mean sleeping with your games console! Thatís taking gaming more than a few steps too far.
*Audience claps*
Tony: Well, we all have different views on this issue so letís bring out the professional and here what he thinks. Okay, letís bring out the President of Sony Ken Kutaragi.
Sony segment of audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ninty segment of audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Tony: Hi.
Ken Kutaragi: Hi.
Tony: Now er, youíre actually the head of Sonyís PS2 department arenít you.
Ken Kutaragi: Yes I am.
Tony: What do YOU make of all this?
Ken Kutaragi: Well the PS2 was designed to bring gamers the best entertainment possible. How they get that entertainment is sometimes questionable, but at the end of the day they bought it, they can do what they want with it.....
Tony: Uh-huh
Ken Kutaragi: ...as long as itís legal. Ha.
Tony: Well actually this isnít legal and weíve got somebody here to back that up.
* Ken Kutaragi looks around nervously*
Tony: Okay letís bring out the head of Nintendo games development, Shigeru Mya...err..Myamoo-moo-t-errr...Myamoo...too.
* Ken Kutaragi gives Tony a dirty look*
Shigsy: *sits down* Actually my name is ëMyamotoí.
Tony: Myamoto....right, thatís what I said. *chuckles slightly* Anyway, why is it not legal to sleep with your PS2?
Shigsy: If you look under the games consoles legislation act it quite clearly states that no sexual activity under the age of 16 is permitted on any games console, except for the mega drive 2.
Tony: Okay so this is obviously an illegal thing so Tiltawhirl, STOP IT!!!.....Iím glad thatís cleared up!
......Anyway, our next guest is from the South East of England and he says that he wonít love his GameCube as much if it has silicon ëconsoleí implants. He says it looks fine the way it is. So letís bring out The Game.
*The Game comes onto the stage holding his GameCube by the handle and he sits down next to Shigsy. He canít resist touching him*
Game: Hi Tony. My GC wants ëconsoleí implants and Iím afraid that if it gets them, it might go off and leave me for some bigger owner.
Tony: Do I sense a touch of insecurity here? I mean are you really that afraid that if your GC gets these implants that itís gonna leave you?
Game: Absolutely. I mean, look at that plastic, purple case. Itís irresistable. Itís fantastic. It turns me on just looking at it. I mean.....
Tony: Thatís enough. Please! Okay so weíve heard what the small console wants but how about at the other end of the scale? What does it think? Letís bring out the massive daddy, the X-Box...and itís owner, FantasyMeister.
Audience: *Silence*
*FM takes a seat leaving a gap between himself and the Nintendo-loving Game.
Tony: Hi Mr. Meister, what does your console think of itself?
FM: Well, my X-Box hates the way it looks. It hates itís bulkiness. It thinks itís fat....but it shouldnít worry. Iím not about to leave my mahusive X-Box for a puny GameCube!
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
Game: Hey shut your mouth or Iíll kick the *beep* out of your fatso X-Box there.
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
FM: Oh yeah, just remember kid, Iím a lot older than you and I could crush you with my thumb.
Tony: Okay guys, thatís enough name calling I think......So letís here what our audience thinks of this. You up there, with the Shane-O-Mac hoody on.
Shaneo: Well I think this is ridiculous. I mean whoever heard of a console getting silicon ëconsoleí implants? Thatís just totally....
*Shaneo is interrupted by another member of the audience who stands up and starts to talk*
Goatboy: *talking about and to Shaneo* Who is this clown? This is the 21st century, boy!!! Anything can happen. Weíre in the middle of a revolutionary new games consoles era. Itís called......íNext-Gení.
Shaneo: And that means that consoles can think now, does it?
Goatboy: Well technology is getting more and more advanced...
Shaneo: *Raises his right arm to Goatboy* Just bring it!
Tony: Okay, I think we should leave the arguing to the people down here on the stage. Youíre the entire studioís length apart...how are you supposed to fight? How do you think we get our ratings guys? Jesus! Think about it next time, will you?.....
Shaneo: What more do you expect from a farm animal?
Goatboy: Right, Iíve had enough.
*Both Goaty and Shaneo start rushing towards each other, jumping over everyone in their way until they reach one another.*
*WHACK*
*They hit each other at the same time, knocking them both out cold*
......Well what do you know!!! Donít try this at home kids, ha......Anyway, itís time for our next guest who says that games has caused her son to go crazy. Letís bring out Iguana, the distressed mother.
Audience: BOOOOO
Tony: Hi.
Iguana: Hi
Tony: So what is actually the problem with your son?
Iguana: Well ever since he got....Goldeneye I think it was on his computer, he just hasnít come out of his room. He says heís a secret agent and that if I talk to him then Iíll blow his cover. He does things that no normal child would do as well. He runs up and down the stairs constantly, he always watches Dogma although come to think of it, he did that before he got his computer, and he pours entire bottles of fanta down the sink.
Tony: Oh noÖ..that must be terrible for you. Not being able to talk to your own son. Your own son of all people.
Iguana: Yes, itís awful.
Tony: mmmmm....well letís bring out Iguanaís son Stryke.
*Stryke runs on stage pretending to be holding a gun. He starts shooting at all the cameras and rolling around on the floor.*
Tony: I see what you mean.
Iguana: Sit down Stryke.
Stryke: Donít talk to me, youíll blow my cover.
Tony: Nobodyís gonna blow your cover Stryke. Take a seat.
*Stryke sits down slowly*
Tony: So Stryke, your mother tells me youíve been playing Goldeneye a lot lately. What do you have to say to that Stryke?
Stryke: Goldenye, pfffff, console FPSís donít take skill. I play IGI, Thief and Deus X.
Tony: *nodding his head sarcastically* Hmmmmm...I find that interesting. I thought computers were just a means to escape. Arenít you taking things a little too far by taking parts of them back into the real world?
Stryke: How dare you question me! Thatís harassment.
Tony: Well thatís what people come onto the show for Stryke. To be questioned.
Stryke: It gets to you doesnít it? That I can be what you can only dream of.
Tony: And whatís that?
Stryke: A secret agent.....I can get off this ball of dirt just by pressing the on switch on my PC. Whatís your number? WHATíS YOUR NUMBER?!??!?!?!?!?!
Tony: *Whispers to Ali* Get this clown outta here!
*Ali takes Stryke by the neck and pulls him off stage*
Tony: *turns to Iguana again* Right, errrrr...having HIM in the house, huh. That must be awful. How do you get through each day?
Iguana: Well he is my son...I canít just leave him on the street.
Tony: Sure you can!
Iguana: No I really donít think I could do that.
Tony: Okay...well letís have some input from the audience. Errrr, you up there. Yeah, you with the snowboard, whatís your name?
SSX Pro: They call me SSX Pro because Iím a pro at SSX.
Tony: Errr, right okay. What do you make of all this?
SSX Pro: LONG LIVE SSX ON PS2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tony: Ummmm....okay. Anyone else feel differently?.....
Tony: Oh yes, you with the flashing hand.
Logan: Oh my God is it flashing? But Iím only 28. Itís not fair!!!!
*3 men in white coats approach Logan and drag him away while heís screaming*
*Audience all cover their hands*
Tony: Are we actually gonna get any real input on this issue? I mean, itís a pretty serious subject, donít you think? Yes you. Go on. What do you think?
JAT: I think that these people need to get out more. Playing games non stop is pathetic. Get a life!!!
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Tony: Well itís obvious what everyone thinks about that. Haha.....
.....
Tony: Everyone, weíre running out of time here. Iím afraid thatís the end of the show but remember,
"Consoles are for playing games. Theyíre not sex toys, theyíre not to think for themselves. Theyíre simply a means to escape. All they are is an alternative to drugs....nothing more. See you next time."
Audience: TONY TONY TONY
*Audience claps and WOOOOOOOs*
---------
Audience: TONY TONY TONY.......
Tony: Todayís show is about how gamers can take their console habits.....just a little too far!...
......."I slept with my best friends PS2"
This is what some gamers do in their spare time. Turbonutterís best friend Tiltawhirl has been sleeping with his Playstation 2. Of course Turbonutter is unaware of this at present but Tiltawhirl is soon to change this.
Tony: *to tiltawhirl* Well, the good news is, your lingerie matches our chairs.
Tiltawhirl: Thatís a good thing?
Tony: What's that tattoo say?
*Tiltawhirl pulls his bra down to reveal the whole tattoo and runs at Tony*
*Tony runs into audience*
Tony: I'll take your word for it, just tell me what it says.
Tiltawhirl: I love Sony 4 eva!
Tony: So, what have you come on this show to tell us then Tiltawhirl?
Man from Audience (SHEEPY): ëCOS HE LIKES CHEESE!
Tony: Hmmmmmm
Tiltawhirl: No, Nothing to do with cheese actually.
Sheepy again: SOMETHING TO DO WITH MONKEYS?
Tiltawhirl: NO! Id like to tell Turbonutter that I've been sleeping with his Playstation 2.
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH
Tony: OUCH!..... Well you canít be more honest than that! Lets bring out Turbonutter!
*Turbonutter enters hugging his PS2 against his body*
Tony: So Turbo...Do you know why youíre on the show today? I see youíve bought your PS2 along with you.
Turbonutter: To be honest Tony, I have my suspicions. I get the feeling it may have something to do with my beloved Playstation and itís fantastically fast 405mhz processor and itís great number of polygons per second on screen. The GameCube canít handle this power...but I cant be sure...and I have been known to make mistakes in the past.....from time to time.
Tony: Well, Tiltawhirl has something to tell you. Go on Tiltawhirl, tell him.
Tiltawhirl: Ahem, something has been going on between your PS2 and I Turbo. Iím errr, sorry.
Turbonutter: I knew it. I KNEW IT! I knew that if I...
Titlawhirl: Well if you kept your PS2 happy it would have never cried out for some action. All you ever gave it was Fantavision and The Weakest Link. I mean....
Turbonutter: Why you son of a *beep*. I thought I knew you. Obviously I was mistaken. How could you do this to me? How could you this to my PS2? HOW?
Tiltawhirl: HEY DONíT SHOUT AT ME!!!
Turbonutter: IíLL SHOUT AT WHOEVER THE *beep* I WANT!
Tony: Hey calm down guys. We donít want a fight on our hands. *Whispers* Fight, fight.
*Turbonutter places his PS2 on the ground and jumps at Tiltawhirl, throwing his fists in a wave of anger and fury.*
*At this point, Ali runs on stage and pulls Turbonutter off Tiltawhirl.*
Tony: Hey keep your pantyhose on guys. Okay, lets have some views from the audience. You up their with the ëWLTí shirt on. Whatís your name?
RBS: RastaBillySkank. Although my friends call me Chris.
Tony: Okay RBS, whatís your view on the matter.
RBS: Errrrr, I think that Turbonutter should give the PS2 what it wants. Give it MGS2. Give it GT3. Itíll be happy then. Although itíll never be truly happy without Nintendo games.
*A particular segment of the audience (namely the Nintys) clap*
Tony: *pointing to another member of audience* Obviously you think differently. Whatís your name?
Strafex: My name is Strafex and it is blatently obvious that these two are sick individuals. I mean sleeping with your games console! Thatís taking gaming more than a few steps too far.
*Audience claps*
Tony: Well, we all have different views on this issue so letís bring out the professional and here what he thinks. Okay, letís bring out the President of Sony Ken Kutaragi.
Sony segment of audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ninty segment of audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Tony: Hi.
Ken Kutaragi: Hi.
Tony: Now er, youíre actually the head of Sonyís PS2 department arenít you.
Ken Kutaragi: Yes I am.
Tony: What do YOU make of all this?
Ken Kutaragi: Well the PS2 was designed to bring gamers the best entertainment possible. How they get that entertainment is sometimes questionable, but at the end of the day they bought it, they can do what they want with it.....
Tony: Uh-huh
Ken Kutaragi: ...as long as itís legal. Ha.
Tony: Well actually this isnít legal and weíve got somebody here to back that up.
* Ken Kutaragi looks around nervously*
Tony: Okay letís bring out the head of Nintendo games development, Shigeru Mya...err..Myamoo-moo-t-errr...Myamoo...too.
* Ken Kutaragi gives Tony a dirty look*
Shigsy: *sits down* Actually my name is ëMyamotoí.
Tony: Myamoto....right, thatís what I said. *chuckles slightly* Anyway, why is it not legal to sleep with your PS2?
Shigsy: If you look under the games consoles legislation act it quite clearly states that no sexual activity under the age of 16 is permitted on any games console, except for the mega drive 2.
Tony: Okay so this is obviously an illegal thing so Tiltawhirl, STOP IT!!!.....Iím glad thatís cleared up!
......Anyway, our next guest is from the South East of England and he says that he wonít love his GameCube as much if it has silicon ëconsoleí implants. He says it looks fine the way it is. So letís bring out The Game.
*The Game comes onto the stage holding his GameCube by the handle and he sits down next to Shigsy. He canít resist touching him*
Game: Hi Tony. My GC wants ëconsoleí implants and Iím afraid that if it gets them, it might go off and leave me for some bigger owner.
Tony: Do I sense a touch of insecurity here? I mean are you really that afraid that if your GC gets these implants that itís gonna leave you?
Game: Absolutely. I mean, look at that plastic, purple case. Itís irresistable. Itís fantastic. It turns me on just looking at it. I mean.....
Tony: Thatís enough. Please! Okay so weíve heard what the small console wants but how about at the other end of the scale? What does it think? Letís bring out the massive daddy, the X-Box...and itís owner, FantasyMeister.
Audience: *Silence*
*FM takes a seat leaving a gap between himself and the Nintendo-loving Game.
Tony: Hi Mr. Meister, what does your console think of itself?
FM: Well, my X-Box hates the way it looks. It hates itís bulkiness. It thinks itís fat....but it shouldnít worry. Iím not about to leave my mahusive X-Box for a puny GameCube!
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
Game: Hey shut your mouth or Iíll kick the *beep* out of your fatso X-Box there.
Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
FM: Oh yeah, just remember kid, Iím a lot older than you and I could crush you with my thumb.
Tony: Okay guys, thatís enough name calling I think......So letís here what our audience thinks of this. You up there, with the Shane-O-Mac hoody on.
Shaneo: Well I think this is ridiculous. I mean whoever heard of a console getting silicon ëconsoleí implants? Thatís just totally....
*Shaneo is interrupted by another member of the audience who stands up and starts to talk*
Goatboy: *talking about and to Shaneo* Who is this clown? This is the 21st century, boy!!! Anything can happen. Weíre in the middle of a revolutionary new games consoles era. Itís called......íNext-Gení.
Shaneo: And that means that consoles can think now, does it?
Goatboy: Well technology is getting more and more advanced...
Shaneo: *Raises his right arm to Goatboy* Just bring it!
Tony: Okay, I think we should leave the arguing to the people down here on the stage. Youíre the entire studioís length apart...how are you supposed to fight? How do you think we get our ratings guys? Jesus! Think about it next time, will you?.....
Shaneo: What more do you expect from a farm animal?
Goatboy: Right, Iíve had enough.
*Both Goaty and Shaneo start rushing towards each other, jumping over everyone in their way until they reach one another.*
*WHACK*
*They hit each other at the same time, knocking them both out cold*
......Well what do you know!!! Donít try this at home kids, ha......Anyway, itís time for our next guest who says that games has caused her son to go crazy. Letís bring out Iguana, the distressed mother.
Audience: BOOOOO
Tony: Hi.
Iguana: Hi
Tony: So what is actually the problem with your son?
Iguana: Well ever since he got....Goldeneye I think it was on his computer, he just hasnít come out of his room. He says heís a secret agent and that if I talk to him then Iíll blow his cover. He does things that no normal child would do as well. He runs up and down the stairs constantly, he always watches Dogma although come to think of it, he did that before he got his computer, and he pours entire bottles of fanta down the sink.
Tony: Oh noÖ..that must be terrible for you. Not being able to talk to your own son. Your own son of all people.
Iguana: Yes, itís awful.
Tony: mmmmm....well letís bring out Iguanaís son Stryke.
*Stryke runs on stage pretending to be holding a gun. He starts shooting at all the cameras and rolling around on the floor.*
Tony: I see what you mean.
Iguana: Sit down Stryke.
Stryke: Donít talk to me, youíll blow my cover.
Tony: Nobodyís gonna blow your cover Stryke. Take a seat.
*Stryke sits down slowly*
Tony: So Stryke, your mother tells me youíve been playing Goldeneye a lot lately. What do you have to say to that Stryke?
Stryke: Goldenye, pfffff, console FPSís donít take skill. I play IGI, Thief and Deus X.
Tony: *nodding his head sarcastically* Hmmmmm...I find that interesting. I thought computers were just a means to escape. Arenít you taking things a little too far by taking parts of them back into the real world?
Stryke: How dare you question me! Thatís harassment.
Tony: Well thatís what people come onto the show for Stryke. To be questioned.
Stryke: It gets to you doesnít it? That I can be what you can only dream of.
Tony: And whatís that?
Stryke: A secret agent.....I can get off this ball of dirt just by pressing the on switch on my PC. Whatís your number? WHATíS YOUR NUMBER?!??!?!?!?!?!
Tony: *Whispers to Ali* Get this clown outta here!
*Ali takes Stryke by the neck and pulls him off stage*
Tony: *turns to Iguana again* Right, errrrr...having HIM in the house, huh. That must be awful. How do you get through each day?
Iguana: Well he is my son...I canít just leave him on the street.
Tony: Sure you can!
Iguana: No I really donít think I could do that.
Tony: Okay...well letís have some input from the audience. Errrr, you up there. Yeah, you with the snowboard, whatís your name?
SSX Pro: They call me SSX Pro because Iím a pro at SSX.
Tony: Errr, right okay. What do you make of all this?
SSX Pro: LONG LIVE SSX ON PS2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tony: Ummmm....okay. Anyone else feel differently?.....
Tony: Oh yes, you with the flashing hand.
Logan: Oh my God is it flashing? But Iím only 28. Itís not fair!!!!
*3 men in white coats approach Logan and drag him away while heís screaming*
*Audience all cover their hands*
Tony: Are we actually gonna get any real input on this issue? I mean, itís a pretty serious subject, donít you think? Yes you. Go on. What do you think?
JAT: I think that these people need to get out more. Playing games non stop is pathetic. Get a life!!!
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Tony: Well itís obvious what everyone thinks about that. Haha.....
.....
Tony: Everyone, weíre running out of time here. Iím afraid thatís the end of the show but remember,
"Consoles are for playing games. Theyíre not sex toys, theyíre not to think for themselves. Theyíre simply a means to escape. All they are is an alternative to drugs....nothing more. See you next time."
Audience: TONY TONY TONY
*Audience claps and WOOOOOOOs*
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it was a film on ITV last night with jerry springer in it.
did anyone watch ringmaster last night?
You're probably right.
Thanks!
Me thinks the show would probably have to be broadcasted after 9pm though! :-D
Me thinks the show would probably have to be broadcasted after 9pm though! :-D
Dav1d wrote:
> "And on next weeks show, What people really think of a 3 1/2 inch
> floppy!"
:-D
Quality idea Dav1d. :-)
> "And on next weeks show, What people really think of a 3 1/2 inch
> floppy!"
:-D
Quality idea Dav1d. :-)
LOL that too would be good.
:)
:)
Pro Evo wrote:
> "what the notables really think about the regulars!!"
OR
"What the Regulars really think of the Notables!" :-D
> "what the notables really think about the regulars!!"
OR
"What the Regulars really think of the Notables!" :-D
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