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At the pub this evening I heard one that made me chuckle.
A group of blokes, around 17 were in the pub. One of them was clearly the loud ringleader guy. So, this really good-looking woman came in, wearing a low cut top and very short skirt. As she walked past the group the loud one said, “I wouldn’t mind having those legs rapped round my head”, without even braking stride, in a very loud voice the girl said, “why? Because your nose is bigger then your nob?”
Well, it made me laugh and shut the guy up.
So, what have you heard?
A group of blokes, around 17 were in the pub. One of them was clearly the loud ringleader guy. So, this really good-looking woman came in, wearing a low cut top and very short skirt. As she walked past the group the loud one said, “I wouldn’t mind having those legs rapped round my head”, without even braking stride, in a very loud voice the girl said, “why? Because your nose is bigger then your nob?”
Well, it made me laugh and shut the guy up.
So, what have you heard?
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"When you give that donkey its ass back, what you gonna do for a face?"
"How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
In an episode of Deep Space 9:
Three Starfleet crew and one outsider are all trying to rebel. They're travelling through a station when two evil alien guys appear.
They tell the starfleet crew to put down their weapons, but the outsider says, "I've got them!"
The outsider then orders the starfleet crew to drop their weapons, they look angry and betrayed, doing as he said.
Then, he turns to the aliens and says, "Didn't you hear about the plan?"
"What plant?" the aliens respond.
"I pretend to be their friends....and then I shoot you!"
And he does.
Not quite what you're looking for I'm sure, but it made me laugh.
Three Starfleet crew and one outsider are all trying to rebel. They're travelling through a station when two evil alien guys appear.
They tell the starfleet crew to put down their weapons, but the outsider says, "I've got them!"
The outsider then orders the starfleet crew to drop their weapons, they look angry and betrayed, doing as he said.
Then, he turns to the aliens and says, "Didn't you hear about the plan?"
"What plant?" the aliens respond.
"I pretend to be their friends....and then I shoot you!"
And he does.
Not quite what you're looking for I'm sure, but it made me laugh.
goatboys too
:-)
:-)
lol to headfixs and english blokes.
:-)
:-)
"Would you like a drink Miss?"
"No, go away"
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that skirt makes your ass look huge"
"No, go away"
"I'm sorry, you misheard me. I said that skirt makes your ass look huge"
"Mind if I have this dance?"
"It's all yours"
OUCH!
Almost as bad as your parents telling you they are "very disapointed in you".
*Winces*
"It's all yours"
OUCH!
Almost as bad as your parents telling you they are "very disapointed in you".
*Winces*
best responce by me.
"I f**ked you mother!"
"Shut up dad your drunk"
"I f**ked you mother!"
"Shut up dad your drunk"
One off a film. This guys fallen out with his friends who won't give him a lift home:
He says: Well mabye I'll call your wife, she always gives everybody a ride!
He says: Well mabye I'll call your wife, she always gives everybody a ride!
The only one that really springs to mind is in a pub/restaurnt a couple of years ago.
A well dressed woman asked a waiter who must have been leaving his job soon,whether they served prawns.
The waiter replied "we serve anybody madam".
A well dressed woman asked a waiter who must have been leaving his job soon,whether they served prawns.
The waiter replied "we serve anybody madam".
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