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"NOM - my review of the worst magazine EVER made!"

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Fri 05/10/01 at 19:13
Regular
Posts: 787
No one is ever happy are they?

First you get all the Sony vs. Nintendo rubbish which nobody can seem to come to any sort of truce about, with the argument recently being ignited again with the GBA and GameCube against the Playstations.

But who would think that an argument would emerge between two different magazines for the SAME company?
Why do people feel so strongly about these magazines?

Now for the past couple of years, I got my parents to subscribe to Nintendo Official Magazine (NOM) which was cheaper and I subscribed myself to N64 magazine.
At that time, I just thought they were both great, NOM had good cheats and good pictures, N64 had excellent reviews and good extras. So combining them both was fine, A fault with one was made up by another.
But soon the subscriptions came to an end so I started to buy each one from the shops each month. When I ran out of money and realised that the money I was spending on both mags could be saved up to buy games, I decided to stick with one mag.

But which one?
Well in the end I decided to stick with N64 magazine (Now NGC). But enough of me telling you what I went for - hereís my reason for you NOT to buy NOM anymore. I was going to do a head to head review, but that would take YEARS!!!

So here is my review of a typical NOM mag!

As my example I have taken the 106th issue of NOM July 2001. I will give my views of each section of the magazine.

NINTENDO OFFICIAL MAGAZINE:

Price of issue 106: £2.99

Pages: 90 (+16 pg GB mini-mag) - 7 pages used by advertisements

Free Gift: Wrestling Postcards.

Reasons written to buy magazine:

… Youíll read about new N64 or Nintendo games and products here first.
… We have the most screenshots from new games.
… Our magís easy to understand and easy to use.
… All our tips, moves and cheats work and help you get more from your games.
… You can trust what our writers say.
… It isnít worth buying other magazines!

From these promises, I reckon that the NOM team are pretty smug that they are the best, and that the promises donít actually tell you much, like where there information comes from etc..

BIG GAME:
Pokemon Stadium 2 (N64) 7 pages.

1 page is wasted by being filled with the same picture as on the front cover. The preview is filled with good screenshots and a reasonable amount of text. Nothing bad is said about the game. If you hate Pokemon or a pink background, then this section is not worth reading.

REVIEWS:
There are no N64 reviews in this section.

Super Mario Advance: 91% (4 pages)
Again, 2 pages are wasted by a big picture and a small text box. The screenshots are just right and there is enough text. For once, they actually say something bad about a Mario game. I thought this was a fair review.

F-Zero Maximum Velocity: 91% (3 pages)
There isnít particularly anything wrong with this review, in fact its a pretty good review. The only problem with this, and most other NOM reviews, is that they donít give their own opinion properly, they just describe the game itself.

Chu Chu Rocket: 89% (1 page)
An average review, but so much more could be written about the game.

Rayman Advance: 90% (3 and a third pages)
24 screen shots and 2 quarter page pictures of the limblessí Rayman mean that text is pretty scarce. While a nice to look at review, this gives no real overall impression of the game.

Kuru Kuru Kururin: 84% (2/3 of a page)
A very short review, given a low score because: "Many gamers will find the difficulty level a bit on the tough side" - I thought games were supposed to be tough to make them last longer? HmmmmÖ

Tony Hawks Pro Skater 2: 92% (4 pages)
Quite a good review actually, with descriptions of nearly everything to do with it. Pretty good!

Konami Krazy Racers: 90% (2 pages)
Again, a fine review with even a few added opinions ñ ooohhh!!

Castlevania Circle of the moon: 88% (1 and a third pages)
Again a low score given because: "It might be a little too tough for younger gamers" and there are a few HUGE screen shots! AHHHHH!!!

Pinobee Wings of Adventure: 80%
A rather high score given to such a bad babyish game! But maybe thats why they gave it such a high score! Only a few lines of text, but at least they said that Mario was better!

N64 GAME DIRECTORY: THE AWESOME COLLECTION
10 pages long.
I actually think this is one of the best N64 listings around. Only the good games are listed and there is enough space to write a good amount about each.

OFFICIAL TIPS:
4 pages
A good selection of hints and tips for your N64 games

GAMEBOY OFFICIAL MAGAZINE:
16 pages long
A thorough magazine reviewing, previewing and tipping many GB games. But why are the screen shots expanded by over 600%????

YOUR TIPS:
2 pages long
More tips sent in by readers! No prob!

YOUR SCORE AND MEGA CHALLENGE:
2 pages
Only 3 challenges - pretty pathetic, but itíll keep the 8 year olds happy.

OFFICIAL TIPS: POKEMON GOLD AND SILVER GUIDE2
8 pages long
Now this has to be the most pathetic pile that Iíve ever seen. Fine, if you are a Pokemon FANATIC, you will have no problem with this, but the fact is, all this 8 page guide is not a guide to the game, but a list of the Pokemon with their best moves etc. There are about 6 pokemon per page with a giant of each! Things like these are blatant page fillers.

OFFICIAL TIPS: BANJO TOOIE GUIDE 1
8 pages long
This actually is a very useful guide to the first part of tha game, with small screenshot snippets and text under each one. I have no complaints about this, and have used it on a rented copy of the game and found it fine.

CLUB MARIO:
4 pages long
I never read this section. This section is the nucleus of filth in this mag. All the people writing in are 6 year olds and none of the letters have anything interesting about them, or ask any questions to be properly answered. Here is one that actually won the writer a copy of Super Mario Advance..SICKENING!!

ëI think James Archer is an idiot saying that Mario is a nerd. Well, face it James, he can do a lot more stuff than you can. All you can do is sit on the couch and play GREYSTATION. I suggest you stop writing into NOM or apologise now. If you still think Mario is a nerd then go and play your stinky GREYSTATION. Mario will always be No1 and you know ití

I donít really need to say much moreÖThis is garbage. And to think you can win a great game for writing itÖAHHHHH!!!!

BLAG FEST:
2 pages
A selection of prizes to win. Most of the time they are Pokemon toys.

NINTENDO NEWS:
E3 SPECIAL
Funny how there were nearly as many pages devoted to this as there was to the Pokemon guide!
Pikmin: 2 pages
A snippet of text and huge ëcolourfulí screenshots show off this interesting game. They quote: "With creatures cuter than Pokemon, it makes it something very special indeed".

Super Smash Bros. Melee: 1 and a quarter of a page
A huge half pages picture of Mario, 6 screenshots, and 2 small paragraphs of text.

Wave Race. Blue Storm: º of a page
4 screenshots, and an even smaller paragraph of text.

Luigiís Mansion: two thirds of a page
Big screenshots, small paragraph.

In factÖthis is the same forÖÖ.:
Disneyís Micky Mouse
StarFox Adventures: Dinosaur Planet
Metroid Prime
Kameo: Elements of Power
Star Wars Rogue Leader
Eternal Darkness
Raven Blade
Banjo Kajooie: Gruntyís revenge
Donkey Kong Coconut Crackers
Diddy Kong Pilot

After a 2 page ëNext Monthí issue showdown, a page devoted to wrestling toys for 6 year olds.

Basically, over 70% of this magazine is a waste of time. Donít buy it OK? £2.99?
Get NGC magazine instead for £3.30.

*Chr!stos turns to Pokemon section, tears out each page by page and shoves into older brothersí paper shredder, cackling maniacally as he does so*.
...sorryÖgot a bit carried away!
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Fri 05/10/01 at 19:13
Posts: 0
No one is ever happy are they?

First you get all the Sony vs. Nintendo rubbish which nobody can seem to come to any sort of truce about, with the argument recently being ignited again with the GBA and GameCube against the Playstations.

But who would think that an argument would emerge between two different magazines for the SAME company?
Why do people feel so strongly about these magazines?

Now for the past couple of years, I got my parents to subscribe to Nintendo Official Magazine (NOM) which was cheaper and I subscribed myself to N64 magazine.
At that time, I just thought they were both great, NOM had good cheats and good pictures, N64 had excellent reviews and good extras. So combining them both was fine, A fault with one was made up by another.
But soon the subscriptions came to an end so I started to buy each one from the shops each month. When I ran out of money and realised that the money I was spending on both mags could be saved up to buy games, I decided to stick with one mag.

But which one?
Well in the end I decided to stick with N64 magazine (Now NGC). But enough of me telling you what I went for - hereís my reason for you NOT to buy NOM anymore. I was going to do a head to head review, but that would take YEARS!!!

So here is my review of a typical NOM mag!

As my example I have taken the 106th issue of NOM July 2001. I will give my views of each section of the magazine.

NINTENDO OFFICIAL MAGAZINE:

Price of issue 106: £2.99

Pages: 90 (+16 pg GB mini-mag) - 7 pages used by advertisements

Free Gift: Wrestling Postcards.

Reasons written to buy magazine:

… Youíll read about new N64 or Nintendo games and products here first.
… We have the most screenshots from new games.
… Our magís easy to understand and easy to use.
… All our tips, moves and cheats work and help you get more from your games.
… You can trust what our writers say.
… It isnít worth buying other magazines!

From these promises, I reckon that the NOM team are pretty smug that they are the best, and that the promises donít actually tell you much, like where there information comes from etc..

BIG GAME:
Pokemon Stadium 2 (N64) 7 pages.

1 page is wasted by being filled with the same picture as on the front cover. The preview is filled with good screenshots and a reasonable amount of text. Nothing bad is said about the game. If you hate Pokemon or a pink background, then this section is not worth reading.

REVIEWS:
There are no N64 reviews in this section.

Super Mario Advance: 91% (4 pages)
Again, 2 pages are wasted by a big picture and a small text box. The screenshots are just right and there is enough text. For once, they actually say something bad about a Mario game. I thought this was a fair review.

F-Zero Maximum Velocity: 91% (3 pages)
There isnít particularly anything wrong with this review, in fact its a pretty good review. The only problem with this, and most other NOM reviews, is that they donít give their own opinion properly, they just describe the game itself.

Chu Chu Rocket: 89% (1 page)
An average review, but so much more could be written about the game.

Rayman Advance: 90% (3 and a third pages)
24 screen shots and 2 quarter page pictures of the limblessí Rayman mean that text is pretty scarce. While a nice to look at review, this gives no real overall impression of the game.

Kuru Kuru Kururin: 84% (2/3 of a page)
A very short review, given a low score because: "Many gamers will find the difficulty level a bit on the tough side" - I thought games were supposed to be tough to make them last longer? HmmmmÖ

Tony Hawks Pro Skater 2: 92% (4 pages)
Quite a good review actually, with descriptions of nearly everything to do with it. Pretty good!

Konami Krazy Racers: 90% (2 pages)
Again, a fine review with even a few added opinions ñ ooohhh!!

Castlevania Circle of the moon: 88% (1 and a third pages)
Again a low score given because: "It might be a little too tough for younger gamers" and there are a few HUGE screen shots! AHHHHH!!!

Pinobee Wings of Adventure: 80%
A rather high score given to such a bad babyish game! But maybe thats why they gave it such a high score! Only a few lines of text, but at least they said that Mario was better!

N64 GAME DIRECTORY: THE AWESOME COLLECTION
10 pages long.
I actually think this is one of the best N64 listings around. Only the good games are listed and there is enough space to write a good amount about each.

OFFICIAL TIPS:
4 pages
A good selection of hints and tips for your N64 games

GAMEBOY OFFICIAL MAGAZINE:
16 pages long
A thorough magazine reviewing, previewing and tipping many GB games. But why are the screen shots expanded by over 600%????

YOUR TIPS:
2 pages long
More tips sent in by readers! No prob!

YOUR SCORE AND MEGA CHALLENGE:
2 pages
Only 3 challenges - pretty pathetic, but itíll keep the 8 year olds happy.

OFFICIAL TIPS: POKEMON GOLD AND SILVER GUIDE2
8 pages long
Now this has to be the most pathetic pile that Iíve ever seen. Fine, if you are a Pokemon FANATIC, you will have no problem with this, but the fact is, all this 8 page guide is not a guide to the game, but a list of the Pokemon with their best moves etc. There are about 6 pokemon per page with a giant of each! Things like these are blatant page fillers.

OFFICIAL TIPS: BANJO TOOIE GUIDE 1
8 pages long
This actually is a very useful guide to the first part of tha game, with small screenshot snippets and text under each one. I have no complaints about this, and have used it on a rented copy of the game and found it fine.

CLUB MARIO:
4 pages long
I never read this section. This section is the nucleus of filth in this mag. All the people writing in are 6 year olds and none of the letters have anything interesting about them, or ask any questions to be properly answered. Here is one that actually won the writer a copy of Super Mario Advance..SICKENING!!

ëI think James Archer is an idiot saying that Mario is a nerd. Well, face it James, he can do a lot more stuff than you can. All you can do is sit on the couch and play GREYSTATION. I suggest you stop writing into NOM or apologise now. If you still think Mario is a nerd then go and play your stinky GREYSTATION. Mario will always be No1 and you know ití

I donít really need to say much moreÖThis is garbage. And to think you can win a great game for writing itÖAHHHHH!!!!

BLAG FEST:
2 pages
A selection of prizes to win. Most of the time they are Pokemon toys.

NINTENDO NEWS:
E3 SPECIAL
Funny how there were nearly as many pages devoted to this as there was to the Pokemon guide!
Pikmin: 2 pages
A snippet of text and huge ëcolourfulí screenshots show off this interesting game. They quote: "With creatures cuter than Pokemon, it makes it something very special indeed".

Super Smash Bros. Melee: 1 and a quarter of a page
A huge half pages picture of Mario, 6 screenshots, and 2 small paragraphs of text.

Wave Race. Blue Storm: º of a page
4 screenshots, and an even smaller paragraph of text.

Luigiís Mansion: two thirds of a page
Big screenshots, small paragraph.

In factÖthis is the same forÖÖ.:
Disneyís Micky Mouse
StarFox Adventures: Dinosaur Planet
Metroid Prime
Kameo: Elements of Power
Star Wars Rogue Leader
Eternal Darkness
Raven Blade
Banjo Kajooie: Gruntyís revenge
Donkey Kong Coconut Crackers
Diddy Kong Pilot

After a 2 page ëNext Monthí issue showdown, a page devoted to wrestling toys for 6 year olds.

Basically, over 70% of this magazine is a waste of time. Donít buy it OK? £2.99?
Get NGC magazine instead for £3.30.

*Chr!stos turns to Pokemon section, tears out each page by page and shoves into older brothersí paper shredder, cackling maniacally as he does so*.
...sorryÖgot a bit carried away!

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