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They ALWAYS care about Valentine's Day
I don't care what they say, don't let them fool you.
When asked if you care, if like me you say "I don't need Hallmark to tell me when to be emotional" and they say "Yeah, me too", DO NOT just not bother.
They will sulk for days, and it doesn't matter that they said they didn't want anything.
They ALL do, they just lie about it
If you've been with them for a while, they will see if you do care by pretending they lose interest, to see if you will chase.
"I need some space" translates into "I'm going to ignore you now and I want you to get upset and call me lots so I feel wanted and special that way"
However, if you don't run after them, they get moody and say "You aren't even upset".
The wrong thing to say is "No, you're right, I'm not"
You can not see your mates to go see her, that is ok.
You can not see her to go see your mates, that is wrong.
They love big, stupid cuddly toys.
My sister got a huge teddy and didn't want it (from an ex-boyfriend) so she gave it to me.
I took it the missus, gave it to her with a "Find a home for that thing if you know anyone" and it now lives on her bed wearing an old shirt of mine.
This is a 28yr old, Yamaha R6, Kung-Fu woman - they ALL love furry toys.
If they say they don't? They are lying.
They fart too, so don't let them get angry when you pop one and then shake trying not to laugh next to her in bed.
She may pretend to be offended, just tell her that she should have heard herself in the night.
Do not ever (and I cannot stress this enough) say "I didn't really notice" when she asks what you think of her new hairdo.
Just because she calls her female mates "Girlfriends", does not mean that you are in with a chance of watching anything remotely European in the comfort of your own room.
She will get angry and not talk to you for at least an hour if you suggest it might be fun to try.
She can insult her best mate after a row, but you are not allowed to. That means you are insensitive and you never really liked her mates, you just put up with them. (this is the truth, but do not let her know this)
There are other little rules, but remember those main ones and you will not go wrong.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to stop off at a garage and buy some flowers to show I care.
(oh yeah, if you are in a band, do not let women come to rehearsals. Ever.)
1)Not all women love cuddly toys. Should I be presented with one by some halfwit from the shallow end of the gene pool I would bludgeon him to death with it. Cuddly toys are for children and the feeble minded. They are not cute or endearing and will only work as a pulling aid in the school yard.
2) Flowers from garages. Don't give me that is the thought that counts rubbish. If its a cheap, tatty afterthought keep it to yourself.
3) The rule about "fat" and "haircuts" is true and golden. Again its an immediate dumping offence if you don't know this one. You are onto an absolute looser and only a complete amateur would go there.
4)Women are socially conditioned into listening to your mates droning on about the minuati of thier lifes. Show her the same courtesy.
5)Valentines Day. Yup its important as its the only time of year you will have enough prompts from advertisements etc to remember to buy her a bunch of flowers. If by some fluke of nature you have spent the rest of the year being romantic you are excused.
6) Women mentioning the "future" is not a thinly disguised attempt to get you up the aisle, tethered to a morgate and breeding. You should be so lucky. It just helps if you can plan things with more than 2 hours notice.
7) Similarly the "I'm not looking for a relationship" (men) line is just pure arrogance. Surely beginnings are just beginnings, its about possibility. Don't assume she has an agenda.
8) Not all women are bunny boiling lunatics at the mercy of their biology. More than one phone call a week does not constiuite stalking.
9) Yup it exists and will turn a rational women into an emotional terrorist for a couple of days. Get over it. She'll calm back down. Equally not evertyhing we say is governed by the biological clock. Sometimes you are sufficently infuriating to turn her into a head spinning, vomit spewing Exorcist impersonator. See flowers bought from a garage for further clarification.
I think thats about it. I can't be arsed to issue any more salvos in the battle of the sexes. I'm off to leave a mutilated fluffy bunny with garage flowers stuffed up its a*** on the exe's doorstep.
Learned to not jump through hoops a long time ago.
As the philisopher Popeye said "I yam whad I yam"
you should never reveal those things they are not things you should be shouting out willy nilly.
oh dear
o dear
Heard it before.
In my few experiences with woman they are morons :-)
All that bloody meeting at 1 and getting bog all :)
And I hate that... your in a crap mood, cannae be bothered talking about their worries... then they think you don't like them and then they moan... which makes you say sorry.
:P
Humph
Girl and boy are having a relationship of about four months now. One Friday night they meet at a bar after work. They stay for a few, then go on to get some food at a local restaurant near their respective houses. They eat, then go back to his house and she stays over.
Her story:-
Well, Ed was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it, but the conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately, so we go to this restaurant and he's still a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him up and start to wonder whether it's me or something so I ask him and he says no but you know I'm not really sure, so anyway, in the cab back to his house I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me and I don't know what the hell that means because you know he doesn't say it back or anything so when we get back to his I'm wondering if he's going off me and so I try to ask him about it but he just switches on the TV and so I say I'm going to go to sleep and then after about 10 minutes he joins me and we have sex, but he seemed really distracted and so afterwards I just want to leave and I dunno I just don't know what he thinks anymore, I mean, do you think he's met someone else ???
His story:-
S*** day at work. Great sh*g later.