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Please excuse the Discworld pun :D
I am happy to announce that thanks to a white hole in the fabric of time I KNOW what he future holds. Specifically the future of gaming (although the jetpacks are cool)
After going on a slight sightseeing rampage and finding out everything I could about how the world (and pizza restaurants) worked in the future I was apprehended and taken to a secure facility (BTW I don’t recommend the spaceworm and seacucumber topping)
I was blindfolded and taken to a room, where the blindfold was removed. The room was pure brilliant white and completely empty of furniture, bar one white furry armchair. With black spots. The other thing worth mentioning in the room was the wall that the chair was facing, which was a huge TV screen. (It’s a sad era when the decor is decided by previous generation's cliched ideas, and Big Brother)
As I got closer to the screen I noticed that there was something else. There was a little silver sphere, the size of an orange, standing perfectly still in front of it.
One of the men who had taken me to this place went up to it. As he bent down I thought there was something odd about him - there seemed to be too little skin for his body - but I ignored it. He touched it lightly and an iris opened up on the top, revealing a small hole with a rod sticking up from the middle. He turned to me and said, with a slight metallic echo to his voice: "You choose: Spaceball Racing or Attack Of The Mutant Scum From Zarquan Nine". With a slight murmur of disappointment at the advances in game names (or lack thereof) I chose Spaceball Racing. The man pulled out a small perfect sphere, about the size of a grape if it was round, from a jar and put it into the hole on top of the console, where the rod fitted perfectly into a hole in what was apparently the game.
Ah-ah, I thought, 3D DVDs. I could have been right, I could have been wrong. Who knows? All I know is that they looked cool (and that this era will be big on perfect spheres, preferably silver)
The man, or creature (my suspicions were growing) showed me to the chair, where I sat down. I noticed that on one of the arms was a shapeless blob of metallic blue. As instructed I picked it up and jumped in suprise as it morphed itself into the most comfortable, naturally fitting controller I had ever held. Every button was in perfect reach of my fingers, and there were contours in it that ran exactly along the shape of my hand for maximum comfort. I asked if there was a hands free method, to which the thing replied with a slightly insulted "of course", but I was informed that it creates an uncomfortable sensation for first time users so I decided to give it a miss.
And then I started playing the game. It was, without a doubt, the most exhilarating experience I had ever had. After this I could call anyone who got their kicks out of skydiving a wuss. The idea was simple, and not amazingly original (I was later told that the last original game idea was officially thought of on December 3rd 2136, so everyone had given up). You were a ball that rolled along at incredibly high speeds - the speedometer went up to 10,000km/h. What’s more, you could feel it was going this fast. That’s what made it so amazing. It wasn’t the perfect graphics, with every twig in the wood and dent on the road rendered with absolute detail, it wasn’t the selectable sound track, where you could download any song in under 5 seconds and put it in the game. It was the thrill of going so fast, of jumping miles into the air and seeing the entire track below you, of crashing into another ball and seeing it spinning off wildly into the scenery and blowing up. This was gaming at its finest.
As I got more confident I decided to try new things. In the forest track I branched off the track and about 30 seconds of dodging my way through trees later I found myself back on it with a substantial lead. I was impressed and tried it again a moment later. I spent the next 20 minutes trying to find my way back to the track, and when I did I was miles behind. At this point my jaw was aching from stretching too far down. In that 20 minutes of wandering I knew I had never passed the same tree twice, that everything was different and you could never quite have the same race twice.
After I had done the first few levels I was introduced to weapons. There were all sorts available with any number of affects on the opposition. After shooting a few fellow balls on a City track, I accidentally hit a building. The amazing explosion animation was the last thing I notice here, as the entire block collapsed into rubble, blocking half the road. I heard several balls crash into the mess, and saw them flying erratically overhead hissing steam, until they hit the ground and exploded. I was in nirvana, and I didn’t want to leave. Ever.
Around 8 hours, about 52 tracks and apparently an 8.4% progress through the game I was completely wiped out. I was far too exhausted, and more than a little too queasy, to even consider playing the other game. Perhaps if another hole in the space-time continuum appears Ill try it.
Thanks for reading.
I am happy to announce that thanks to a white hole in the fabric of time I KNOW what he future holds. Specifically the future of gaming (although the jetpacks are cool)
After going on a slight sightseeing rampage and finding out everything I could about how the world (and pizza restaurants) worked in the future I was apprehended and taken to a secure facility (BTW I don’t recommend the spaceworm and seacucumber topping)
I was blindfolded and taken to a room, where the blindfold was removed. The room was pure brilliant white and completely empty of furniture, bar one white furry armchair. With black spots. The other thing worth mentioning in the room was the wall that the chair was facing, which was a huge TV screen. (It’s a sad era when the decor is decided by previous generation's cliched ideas, and Big Brother)
As I got closer to the screen I noticed that there was something else. There was a little silver sphere, the size of an orange, standing perfectly still in front of it.
One of the men who had taken me to this place went up to it. As he bent down I thought there was something odd about him - there seemed to be too little skin for his body - but I ignored it. He touched it lightly and an iris opened up on the top, revealing a small hole with a rod sticking up from the middle. He turned to me and said, with a slight metallic echo to his voice: "You choose: Spaceball Racing or Attack Of The Mutant Scum From Zarquan Nine". With a slight murmur of disappointment at the advances in game names (or lack thereof) I chose Spaceball Racing. The man pulled out a small perfect sphere, about the size of a grape if it was round, from a jar and put it into the hole on top of the console, where the rod fitted perfectly into a hole in what was apparently the game.
Ah-ah, I thought, 3D DVDs. I could have been right, I could have been wrong. Who knows? All I know is that they looked cool (and that this era will be big on perfect spheres, preferably silver)
The man, or creature (my suspicions were growing) showed me to the chair, where I sat down. I noticed that on one of the arms was a shapeless blob of metallic blue. As instructed I picked it up and jumped in suprise as it morphed itself into the most comfortable, naturally fitting controller I had ever held. Every button was in perfect reach of my fingers, and there were contours in it that ran exactly along the shape of my hand for maximum comfort. I asked if there was a hands free method, to which the thing replied with a slightly insulted "of course", but I was informed that it creates an uncomfortable sensation for first time users so I decided to give it a miss.
And then I started playing the game. It was, without a doubt, the most exhilarating experience I had ever had. After this I could call anyone who got their kicks out of skydiving a wuss. The idea was simple, and not amazingly original (I was later told that the last original game idea was officially thought of on December 3rd 2136, so everyone had given up). You were a ball that rolled along at incredibly high speeds - the speedometer went up to 10,000km/h. What’s more, you could feel it was going this fast. That’s what made it so amazing. It wasn’t the perfect graphics, with every twig in the wood and dent on the road rendered with absolute detail, it wasn’t the selectable sound track, where you could download any song in under 5 seconds and put it in the game. It was the thrill of going so fast, of jumping miles into the air and seeing the entire track below you, of crashing into another ball and seeing it spinning off wildly into the scenery and blowing up. This was gaming at its finest.
As I got more confident I decided to try new things. In the forest track I branched off the track and about 30 seconds of dodging my way through trees later I found myself back on it with a substantial lead. I was impressed and tried it again a moment later. I spent the next 20 minutes trying to find my way back to the track, and when I did I was miles behind. At this point my jaw was aching from stretching too far down. In that 20 minutes of wandering I knew I had never passed the same tree twice, that everything was different and you could never quite have the same race twice.
After I had done the first few levels I was introduced to weapons. There were all sorts available with any number of affects on the opposition. After shooting a few fellow balls on a City track, I accidentally hit a building. The amazing explosion animation was the last thing I notice here, as the entire block collapsed into rubble, blocking half the road. I heard several balls crash into the mess, and saw them flying erratically overhead hissing steam, until they hit the ground and exploded. I was in nirvana, and I didn’t want to leave. Ever.
Around 8 hours, about 52 tracks and apparently an 8.4% progress through the game I was completely wiped out. I was far too exhausted, and more than a little too queasy, to even consider playing the other game. Perhaps if another hole in the space-time continuum appears Ill try it.
Thanks for reading.
Page:
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Please excuse the Discworld pun :D
I am happy to announce that thanks to a white hole in the fabric of time I KNOW what he future holds. Specifically the future of gaming (although the jetpacks are cool)
After going on a slight sightseeing rampage and finding out everything I could about how the world (and pizza restaurants) worked in the future I was apprehended and taken to a secure facility (BTW I don’t recommend the spaceworm and seacucumber topping)
I was blindfolded and taken to a room, where the blindfold was removed. The room was pure brilliant white and completely empty of furniture, bar one white furry armchair. With black spots. The other thing worth mentioning in the room was the wall that the chair was facing, which was a huge TV screen. (It’s a sad era when the decor is decided by previous generation's cliched ideas, and Big Brother)
As I got closer to the screen I noticed that there was something else. There was a little silver sphere, the size of an orange, standing perfectly still in front of it.
One of the men who had taken me to this place went up to it. As he bent down I thought there was something odd about him - there seemed to be too little skin for his body - but I ignored it. He touched it lightly and an iris opened up on the top, revealing a small hole with a rod sticking up from the middle. He turned to me and said, with a slight metallic echo to his voice: "You choose: Spaceball Racing or Attack Of The Mutant Scum From Zarquan Nine". With a slight murmur of disappointment at the advances in game names (or lack thereof) I chose Spaceball Racing. The man pulled out a small perfect sphere, about the size of a grape if it was round, from a jar and put it into the hole on top of the console, where the rod fitted perfectly into a hole in what was apparently the game.
Ah-ah, I thought, 3D DVDs. I could have been right, I could have been wrong. Who knows? All I know is that they looked cool (and that this era will be big on perfect spheres, preferably silver)
The man, or creature (my suspicions were growing) showed me to the chair, where I sat down. I noticed that on one of the arms was a shapeless blob of metallic blue. As instructed I picked it up and jumped in suprise as it morphed itself into the most comfortable, naturally fitting controller I had ever held. Every button was in perfect reach of my fingers, and there were contours in it that ran exactly along the shape of my hand for maximum comfort. I asked if there was a hands free method, to which the thing replied with a slightly insulted "of course", but I was informed that it creates an uncomfortable sensation for first time users so I decided to give it a miss.
And then I started playing the game. It was, without a doubt, the most exhilarating experience I had ever had. After this I could call anyone who got their kicks out of skydiving a wuss. The idea was simple, and not amazingly original (I was later told that the last original game idea was officially thought of on December 3rd 2136, so everyone had given up). You were a ball that rolled along at incredibly high speeds - the speedometer went up to 10,000km/h. What’s more, you could feel it was going this fast. That’s what made it so amazing. It wasn’t the perfect graphics, with every twig in the wood and dent on the road rendered with absolute detail, it wasn’t the selectable sound track, where you could download any song in under 5 seconds and put it in the game. It was the thrill of going so fast, of jumping miles into the air and seeing the entire track below you, of crashing into another ball and seeing it spinning off wildly into the scenery and blowing up. This was gaming at its finest.
As I got more confident I decided to try new things. In the forest track I branched off the track and about 30 seconds of dodging my way through trees later I found myself back on it with a substantial lead. I was impressed and tried it again a moment later. I spent the next 20 minutes trying to find my way back to the track, and when I did I was miles behind. At this point my jaw was aching from stretching too far down. In that 20 minutes of wandering I knew I had never passed the same tree twice, that everything was different and you could never quite have the same race twice.
After I had done the first few levels I was introduced to weapons. There were all sorts available with any number of affects on the opposition. After shooting a few fellow balls on a City track, I accidentally hit a building. The amazing explosion animation was the last thing I notice here, as the entire block collapsed into rubble, blocking half the road. I heard several balls crash into the mess, and saw them flying erratically overhead hissing steam, until they hit the ground and exploded. I was in nirvana, and I didn’t want to leave. Ever.
Around 8 hours, about 52 tracks and apparently an 8.4% progress through the game I was completely wiped out. I was far too exhausted, and more than a little too queasy, to even consider playing the other game. Perhaps if another hole in the space-time continuum appears Ill try it.
Thanks for reading.
I am happy to announce that thanks to a white hole in the fabric of time I KNOW what he future holds. Specifically the future of gaming (although the jetpacks are cool)
After going on a slight sightseeing rampage and finding out everything I could about how the world (and pizza restaurants) worked in the future I was apprehended and taken to a secure facility (BTW I don’t recommend the spaceworm and seacucumber topping)
I was blindfolded and taken to a room, where the blindfold was removed. The room was pure brilliant white and completely empty of furniture, bar one white furry armchair. With black spots. The other thing worth mentioning in the room was the wall that the chair was facing, which was a huge TV screen. (It’s a sad era when the decor is decided by previous generation's cliched ideas, and Big Brother)
As I got closer to the screen I noticed that there was something else. There was a little silver sphere, the size of an orange, standing perfectly still in front of it.
One of the men who had taken me to this place went up to it. As he bent down I thought there was something odd about him - there seemed to be too little skin for his body - but I ignored it. He touched it lightly and an iris opened up on the top, revealing a small hole with a rod sticking up from the middle. He turned to me and said, with a slight metallic echo to his voice: "You choose: Spaceball Racing or Attack Of The Mutant Scum From Zarquan Nine". With a slight murmur of disappointment at the advances in game names (or lack thereof) I chose Spaceball Racing. The man pulled out a small perfect sphere, about the size of a grape if it was round, from a jar and put it into the hole on top of the console, where the rod fitted perfectly into a hole in what was apparently the game.
Ah-ah, I thought, 3D DVDs. I could have been right, I could have been wrong. Who knows? All I know is that they looked cool (and that this era will be big on perfect spheres, preferably silver)
The man, or creature (my suspicions were growing) showed me to the chair, where I sat down. I noticed that on one of the arms was a shapeless blob of metallic blue. As instructed I picked it up and jumped in suprise as it morphed itself into the most comfortable, naturally fitting controller I had ever held. Every button was in perfect reach of my fingers, and there were contours in it that ran exactly along the shape of my hand for maximum comfort. I asked if there was a hands free method, to which the thing replied with a slightly insulted "of course", but I was informed that it creates an uncomfortable sensation for first time users so I decided to give it a miss.
And then I started playing the game. It was, without a doubt, the most exhilarating experience I had ever had. After this I could call anyone who got their kicks out of skydiving a wuss. The idea was simple, and not amazingly original (I was later told that the last original game idea was officially thought of on December 3rd 2136, so everyone had given up). You were a ball that rolled along at incredibly high speeds - the speedometer went up to 10,000km/h. What’s more, you could feel it was going this fast. That’s what made it so amazing. It wasn’t the perfect graphics, with every twig in the wood and dent on the road rendered with absolute detail, it wasn’t the selectable sound track, where you could download any song in under 5 seconds and put it in the game. It was the thrill of going so fast, of jumping miles into the air and seeing the entire track below you, of crashing into another ball and seeing it spinning off wildly into the scenery and blowing up. This was gaming at its finest.
As I got more confident I decided to try new things. In the forest track I branched off the track and about 30 seconds of dodging my way through trees later I found myself back on it with a substantial lead. I was impressed and tried it again a moment later. I spent the next 20 minutes trying to find my way back to the track, and when I did I was miles behind. At this point my jaw was aching from stretching too far down. In that 20 minutes of wandering I knew I had never passed the same tree twice, that everything was different and you could never quite have the same race twice.
After I had done the first few levels I was introduced to weapons. There were all sorts available with any number of affects on the opposition. After shooting a few fellow balls on a City track, I accidentally hit a building. The amazing explosion animation was the last thing I notice here, as the entire block collapsed into rubble, blocking half the road. I heard several balls crash into the mess, and saw them flying erratically overhead hissing steam, until they hit the ground and exploded. I was in nirvana, and I didn’t want to leave. Ever.
Around 8 hours, about 52 tracks and apparently an 8.4% progress through the game I was completely wiped out. I was far too exhausted, and more than a little too queasy, to even consider playing the other game. Perhaps if another hole in the space-time continuum appears Ill try it.
Thanks for reading.
Page: