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Very busy at work today, but I just HAD to post this...
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A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "OK, now what?"
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A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "OK, now what?"
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Very busy at work today, but I just HAD to post this...
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A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "OK, now what?"
-----
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line, "OK, now what?"
lol
lol @ Wookie, good joke dude
lol! Very good!
lol :-)
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There's a tribe in Africa where the initiation to become a man involves 'The Quest'. One day one of the youths asks to take 'The Quest', and the Elder of the Village informs him:
"To become a man, you must first go out and shoot a ferocious lion, and then come back to make love to a beautiful woman."
So the young man sets off, and returns two days later covered in scratches, bites and bloody wounds. He staggers up to the elder and says:
"Right then, where's that woman I'm supposed to shoot?"
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There's a tribe in Africa where the initiation to become a man involves 'The Quest'. One day one of the youths asks to take 'The Quest', and the Elder of the Village informs him:
"To become a man, you must first go out and shoot a ferocious lion, and then come back to make love to a beautiful woman."
So the young man sets off, and returns two days later covered in scratches, bites and bloody wounds. He staggers up to the elder and says:
"Right then, where's that woman I'm supposed to shoot?"
Top joke wookiee!
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Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat.
He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, "Here honey, try these on."
So she did and said, "Well sweetie they're a little too big, I can't wear them."
So I replied, "exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will". Ever since that night we have never had any problems.
"Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. So, on his honeymoon Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here babe, try these on". So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me." So Jack says, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jill takes off her knickers and hands them to Jack and says, "Here, you try on mine." So he does and says, "I can't get into your knickers."
So Jill says,"...exactly. And if you don't change your attitude you never will!!!"
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Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat.
He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, "Here honey, try these on."
So she did and said, "Well sweetie they're a little too big, I can't wear them."
So I replied, "exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will". Ever since that night we have never had any problems.
"Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. So, on his honeymoon Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here babe, try these on". So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me." So Jack says, "...exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jill takes off her knickers and hands them to Jack and says, "Here, you try on mine." So he does and says, "I can't get into your knickers."
So Jill says,"...exactly. And if you don't change your attitude you never will!!!"
Excellent!
ha ha! these jokes are so funny!(¦oD
Theres an english man,scottish man and irish man they all have 13 year old daughters.
The english man goes in his duaghters room and finds a half full bottle of whisky and says "i didnt know my duaghter drank.
The scottish man goes in his duaghters room and finds a packet of fags with some missing and says "i didnt know my duaghter smoked.
The irish man goes in his duaghters room and finds a packet of condoms with one missing and says "i didnt know my duaghter had a c**k.
The english man goes in his duaghters room and finds a half full bottle of whisky and says "i didnt know my duaghter drank.
The scottish man goes in his duaghters room and finds a packet of fags with some missing and says "i didnt know my duaghter smoked.
The irish man goes in his duaghters room and finds a packet of condoms with one missing and says "i didnt know my duaghter had a c**k.
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