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"Log in The Creek: Episode One"

Further to our discovery of Wings Hauser being "The Man", there is a small band of dedicated action-babies that have devised, written and formulated a new series for Wings.
Details are as follow:

Cast (not in order of appearance, not always appearing)

Log Woodson Wings Hauser
Chains Keenly David Hasslehoff
Fern Woodson Shannon Whirry
Leaf Greenerman Steve Guttenburg’s corpse
Smoky Himself
Red Coltrane Sam J Jones
Alvin ‘The Bear’ Woodchuck Brian Blessed
Chipper Delaney Rowdy Roddy Piper
Ricardo Duvall Max Von Sydow
Blane Mr T
Uncle Herb Tom Bosley
Eartha Branch Angela Lansbury

Special Guest Appearance

Sage Owl (John Harry) Lou Diamond Phillips
Lt. Columbo Peter Falk

Opening credits. Sweeping panoramic views of the Californian Redwood forest in which ‘Log in the Creek’ is set within. The music starts with haunting Indian pipes, slowly growing and mixing with drums, strings and brass. Cut through scenes introducing each actor, showing both a comedy action side and the serious and diligent side to each character portrayed.

The music style represents the duality of Log Woodsons character; A tough, seemingly uncompromising Forest Ranger, balanced with his peaceful inner spirit. Credits end with Log standing on an outcrop overlooking Beaver Creek, the sun setting as a Bald Eagle circles high above.

Character outlines.

Log Woodson.
The main character within the series, Log is a Forest Ranger working on the Beaver Creek Reserve, close to the Rockies in CA. In his mid fifties now, log has experienced much in life. Married at a young age to his childhood sweetheart Fern, he moved to CA. to become a Forest Ranger at Beaver Creek.
Life seemed good for Log, until he was called away to fight in the Vietnam, where he served as a tracker with John Harry (Sage Owl) for two tours, earning several commendations. It was during this time that Log re-learnt something of his native American heritage from Sage Owl, who became Logs mentor.
During his final days in the Airborne Rangers, Log learns of the forest fire that has killed his wife, and returns to Beaver Creek to continue work as a Ranger and come to terms with the terrible events that have befallen him

Fern Woodson.
Fern is of course, dead. She appears in flashbacks and haunting evocative dreams, to guide Log in times of crisis. She usually is wearing a light cotton summer dress that clings to her heaving…..

Chains Keenly
Chains is the other Forest Ranger working in Beaver Creek. He sees himself as a slick ladies man. He comes across as being devious and shallow, he wants the senior Ranger position that he feels he deserves.

Leaf Greenerman.
Logs old assistant, he went missing during the fire that killed Fern and has never been seen since.

Smoky
Logs domesticated Racoon, he’s clever and always up for stealing things at the right moment.

Red Coltrane
One of Logs two assistants, Red is a quick thinker and resourceful. Not one for the physical action though.

Alvin ‘The Bear’ Woodchuck
Logs other assistant Ranger, ‘The Bear’ is everything his nickname suggests. Quick tempered, loud and boisterous, Bear is not a man to be trifled with, despite his age. Bear emigrated to CA. after the 60’s thing had died out in the UK.

Chipper Delaney
Chains only assistant, Chipper is a burly thick skinned/sculled man, with an evil streak a mile wide. He is constantly at odds with Bear and Blane.

Ricardo Duvall
Logging baron. Not much is known about this businessman, except that he has no ethics or morals.

Blane
Former helicopter pilot from Nam, Blane meets up again with his old service buddy Log to work on the Creek as chopper pilot. Blane will not suffer fools gladly and is constantly at odds with Chipper. Blane hates Smoky.

Uncle Herb and Eartha Branch
Two family friends of Log, they make constant visits to Beaver Creek. Herb is a retired forensic scientist, while Eartha Branch runs a hotel in Bracken, the small town outside of Beaver Creek. Eartha is the town gossip.

Well popped matey

pop

We are a small but loyal fanbase for Wings.

We are the "Wings Always Nearly Knew Everything Surely" team, and we will fight (only when justified and only with minimal force to teach a lesson) in the good and pure name of Mr Hauser.

Look at the fantastic taglines in this thread.

All Hauser related.

Top stuff.

All 12 episodes will tie the story up nicely, everything will become clear as time progresses.

The "Wings Always Nearly Knew Everything Really Society" will continue to broadcast quality entertainment for the viewers of Channel SR.

It rocks, but was there ever any doubt??

That rules.

You should also post it in the stories forum.

Can't wait for the next episode!

Quality man, pure quality. I like the Fonz cameo.

EPISODE ONE: Leaf On The Tracks

Beaver Creek, late March.

Particularly mild weather brings the spring around quickly at Beaver Creek, we see Log and Bear working within the forest (tree stuff or something), while Red is painting the jetty at beaver creek.
As Red paints, he watches a family who have been camping in the reserve set up a canoe and paddle out on the creek. He shows some concern as the water level is high because of the snowmelt from the mountains.
Log is content with his simple but worthy task of Forest Ranger, he is absorbed in physical labour. Without his shirt and being all manly and stuff.
Bear is helping out with loads of crap jokes, but laughing really hard in a Brian Blessed sort of way.
His beard is home to several rare types of wood tic and louse, who would never abuse Bear’s trust and don’t bite or otherwise trouble him.
Because he is Brian Blessed.

As Red paints, a sudden cry from the creek alerts him to trouble. Quickly assessing the situation he notes that the family are okay (still in the canoe), but appear to have been startled by something in the water. The father is shouting to Red, who motors over using the dingy with outboard to see what the fuss is. There’s a body floating in the creek!!!

As Red is motoring out to the canoe, the scene is viewed from the air by Blane, who radio’s down to Red to find out what the commotion is all about.
Red explains, then Blane radios to Log and tells him that he’s on his way to pick him and Bear up.
Log stops his pure and worthy tree work and puts his shirt back on, Bear eases his little critters from his beard so they will not be injured when trouble starts. Out falls a badger also, for Bear’s beard is big.




Next we see that the county sheriff has arrived with an Ambulance crew, Red taken the Sheriff out to the floating body and they are in the process of removing it from the water. Once ashore, to Logs amazement, the body is none other than that of the missing Leaf Greenerman!
Log lets a single manly sob escape him, we cut to a montage of previous exploits and narrow escapes that Leaf and Log have been involved in, including one hilarious scene with Leaf in a police uniform in a nod to Steve’s breakthrough performance.

As this is being discussed, we see Chipper standing around in the background. He is interested in the discovery of the body, then leaves.
He is spotted by Bear.
Also standing at the edge of the forest is Chains Keenly. He is, for some reason, stripped to the waist and teasing his afro curls whilst eyeing everyone with a flinty gaze.
Spotting the family in the canoe, he runs into the lake clutching a float and powers out to them in slo-mo swimming action.
The family stare in bemusement at him and continue to do their thing.

He reaches them and splutters “I saved you from the evil ethnic drug characters! Just like I did on Baywatch! Awesome!”
The family are confused: “Sorry? We’re just teaching our son to fish, who are you?”
Chains tips the boat over, grabs the kid and swims back to shore, before returning for the parents.
As the bedraggled and somewhat angry family lay on the lake-side, Chains stands with his hands on his hips and cue: Song sung by Chains, with previous heroic rescues (to tie in with possible Baywatch Nights spin-off shows).
“I saved you from death, I am noble in spirit and wise also. Plus, I totally look hot running with no top on”
The dad looks disgusted “You are in your mid-forties for chrissakes, what is a man your age doing running about with no top on? And you suck at singing David Hassle..er..Chains Keenly.”
Chains laughs and teaches a wandering child about the value of being nice and honest, by beating up some ethnic villains.

The discussion continues, Log is concerned by the arrival of his old friend’s body. As it will take several days for a forensics team to arrive, Log suggests contacting his Uncle Herb, a retired Forensic Scientist to examine the body before it ‘Thaws’ and valuable evidence is lost.
The Sheriff agrees, and Log makes the call to Eartha’s hotel, where Herb is currently staying.

The scene switches to a plush office in an unknown location, a sinister looking man is seated behind a desk, talking on the phone. He is angry about something, with someone, but it is not obvious who/what.
He snarls down the phone that the job should be finished, that the person knows what to do.
He turns the lights off and has only his desk-light on, into which he smokes a cigar in a nasty manner. This doesn’t look anything like The X-Files, no sirree.

Back to Log, who makes his call to Uncle Herb, he will arrive within the hour and they are to keep the body cold. Eartha mentions that some men passed through in two trucks earlier today, she thinks they are trappers, and that she will investigate in a nice old lady way.

Log, Bear and Blane go off in search of the trappers, while Red remains to meet Herb when he arrives.
Herb turns up, having caught a ride in from town with Chains Keenly, who by know knows the whole story and wishes there was another excuse to run about topless and save little kids in caves rapidly filling with water.
When Herb enters for the 1st time, everyone cheers and claps wildly until he smiles and motions for them to be quiet.
A mini-cameo by Henry “The Fonz” Winkler walking past in the background, who stops and gives the “Eyyyyyy” and thumbs up.
Herb acknowledges him and smiles to the camera.

At the same time, we see the body lying on a room packed in Ice. Smoky enters the room though a window (cue comedy music) and snuffles around. Spying a wristwatch on the arm of the dead Greenerman, Smoky removes it and runs off with his prize.

Later, as Herb works in the room, he writes notes down in a book. The book is marked “Cunningham Stationary”, in a retro culture reference for the ironic viewers.
Herb is struck from behind. When he awakes, the body and his notebook have gone.

Police called, tire tracks outside lead off into the forest. Red calls it in to Log.

Log, Bear and Blane catch up with trappers, use inventive traps and cunning things to capture them and release the animals they have caught. Much like the Ewoks and their battle on Endor, but with less obvious symbolism to the Vietnam war.
Log utilises tricks he learned whilst a POW in an evil Vietcong camp (making him useful like McGyver but with less cheese).
As Log and his trusty companions head off into the woods, we see a black GMVC van pull-up and The A-Team get out to stretch their legs. BA (Mr T in a duel role because he rocks) is shouting about “ain’t getting on no plane fool” whilst Hannibal nods wisely and hands him a nice glass of milk and a burger. Murdoch does amusing things with pine cones, allowing comedy value from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

They return back, hand the trappers over to the sheriff. Sheriff says he’ll be getting some help in from “outta town on the body disappearance, it’s obviously major.”
Face-Man walks over, dressed like a State Trooper and offers to help out, cons the police man out of several things and the rest of the A-Team proceed to build a cannon out of trees, but one that won’t injure anyone, only explode behind them and make them fly through the air.

Log finds Smoky in his office, clutching Leaf’s watch. Later that night, Log dreams of his departure to the war.
Saying goodbyes etc, giving Leaf a watch for a present. Leaf is pleased, particularly with the date function on the watch face.

Log wakes up, reaches for the watch. The date has stopped approx. one year after Leafs disappearance……

End Credits.

Further to our discovery of Wings Hauser being "The Man", there is a small band of dedicated action-babies that have devised, written and formulated a new series for Wings.
Details are as follow:

Cast (not in order of appearance, not always appearing)

Log Woodson Wings Hauser
Chains Keenly David Hasslehoff
Fern Woodson Shannon Whirry
Leaf Greenerman Steve Guttenburg’s corpse
Smoky Himself
Red Coltrane Sam J Jones
Alvin ‘The Bear’ Woodchuck Brian Blessed
Chipper Delaney Rowdy Roddy Piper
Ricardo Duvall Max Von Sydow
Blane Mr T
Uncle Herb Tom Bosley
Eartha Branch Angela Lansbury

Special Guest Appearance

Sage Owl (John Harry) Lou Diamond Phillips
Lt. Columbo Peter Falk

Opening credits. Sweeping panoramic views of the Californian Redwood forest in which ‘Log in the Creek’ is set within. The music starts with haunting Indian pipes, slowly growing and mixing with drums, strings and brass. Cut through scenes introducing each actor, showing both a comedy action side and the serious and diligent side to each character portrayed.

The music style represents the duality of Log Woodsons character; A tough, seemingly uncompromising Forest Ranger, balanced with his peaceful inner spirit. Credits end with Log standing on an outcrop overlooking Beaver Creek, the sun setting as a Bald Eagle circles high above.

Character outlines.

Log Woodson.
The main character within the series, Log is a Forest Ranger working on the Beaver Creek Reserve, close to the Rockies in CA. In his mid fifties now, log has experienced much in life. Married at a young age to his childhood sweetheart Fern, he moved to CA. to become a Forest Ranger at Beaver Creek.
Life seemed good for Log, until he was called away to fight in the Vietnam, where he served as a tracker with John Harry (Sage Owl) for two tours, earning several commendations. It was during this time that Log re-learnt something of his native American heritage from Sage Owl, who became Logs mentor.
During his final days in the Airborne Rangers, Log learns of the forest fire that has killed his wife, and returns to Beaver Creek to continue work as a Ranger and come to terms with the terrible events that have befallen him

Fern Woodson.
Fern is of course, dead. She appears in flashbacks and haunting evocative dreams, to guide Log in times of crisis. She usually is wearing a light cotton summer dress that clings to her heaving…..

Chains Keenly
Chains is the other Forest Ranger working in Beaver Creek. He sees himself as a slick ladies man. He comes across as being devious and shallow, he wants the senior Ranger position that he feels he deserves.

Leaf Greenerman.
Logs old assistant, he went missing during the fire that killed Fern and has never been seen since.

Smoky
Logs domesticated Racoon, he’s clever and always up for stealing things at the right moment.

Red Coltrane
One of Logs two assistants, Red is a quick thinker and resourceful. Not one for the physical action though.

Alvin ‘The Bear’ Woodchuck
Logs other assistant Ranger, ‘The Bear’ is everything his nickname suggests. Quick tempered, loud and boisterous, Bear is not a man to be trifled with, despite his age. Bear emigrated to CA. after the 60’s thing had died out in the UK.

Chipper Delaney
Chains only assistant, Chipper is a burly thick skinned/sculled man, with an evil streak a mile wide. He is constantly at odds with Bear and Blane.

Ricardo Duvall
Logging baron. Not much is known about this businessman, except that he has no ethics or morals.

Blane
Former helicopter pilot from Nam, Blane meets up again with his old service buddy Log to work on the Creek as chopper pilot. Blane will not suffer fools gladly and is constantly at odds with Chipper. Blane hates Smoky.

Uncle Herb and Eartha Branch
Two family friends of Log, they make constant visits to Beaver Creek. Herb is a retired forensic scientist, while Eartha Branch runs a hotel in Bracken, the small town outside of Beaver Creek. Eartha is the town gossip.