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"The wonder of Chris Morris"

After my succesful 'Wonder of Partridge' topic (now sadly defunct), I have decided to start a topic dedicated to the finest moments of Chris Morris's career - the man behind On the Hour, The Day Today, Jam and recently, Brass Eye. Here's the first.

"If you're gonna jerk with Brass Eye, don't park your jumped up little rollerskate parked outside (reporter kicks bumper off car)"

"Peter, you've lost the news!"

Otters are very docile creatures. You can kill an otter in seconds...just kick it's face off.

"It's not cool to be weird..."

The cows are left for the dogs and jackals, and scorpions if they eat meat, I don't know.

Cake is a made up drug. But not made from plants, made up from chemicals. If someone offers you any, they may also offer you it with these names (cue various celebs):
Hatti Jaques portentious cheese wog
Basildon Danger Donut
David Dust

I don't want my arms to feel like 2 weeks in a bad balloon

Here in what is known as the electric scissorbeans, there is one word being shouted, and that word is war.

Valerie, talk me some road

Ted Maul reporting has that story with him reporting.

Crazed wolves in store a mistake admits Mothercare

Take the U out of drugs and what've you got?
Drgs..ever heard of someone addicted to drgs? No.

You're wrong and you're a grotesquely ugly freak!..thanks.

If cry you from hurt, a whole leopard will fall from eye. Why cry oh sad mammal?

"The twisted brainwrong of a one-off man mental."
"If time was a drug, Big Ben is a huge needle injecting it into the sky!(serious face)"

"Was you Uncle mean to you? Am I more hansome then him?"
(girl pulls smiley face)
"Do that again. See how easy it is"

Name rings a bell... letta me thinka