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"SPAM THREAD - WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT!!!"

Me, myself, and many others, are fed up of all these topics that mean nothing - much like this one, but in order to remove the spam like topics "the playstation 2 will win, but the xbox doesn't know anything about gaming" etc, so post your tripe here - MAYBE, and that's a big maybe, the quality of Spam will improve.

THREAD for spamming - spam here, keep the forum CLEAN.

so now i live in a small hut on the docks of bristol with internet, but no running water.

so they gave me a mass of inteligence to find stick, but instead i escaped to.

but stick474 was to smart for them and escaped.

The Year: 482 AD
The Place: Forum Spartispamus
The Gladiators: Lexus Spammus vs FantasyMeisterus

The Emperor signals for the battle to commence. The gladiators rush to choose their weapons, Lexus grabbing a fierce looking trident and net, whilst FantasyMeisterus opts for the more traditional spear and shield.

Lexus lunges with the trident outstretched, but FantasyMeisterus neatly side steps and swipes Lexus across the back with the shield, sending him sprawling to the sandy arena floor.

The Forum crowd roar. The excitement mounts.

FantasyMeisterus steps forward to deal the final blow when Lexus suddenly hurls the net, entangling his opponent and causing him to fall back. Lexus regains his feet shouting:

"Is that all you got, FM?!? HA HAHA HA HAAA HA HA HA HAAA HAA HAHAHA HAA HAAAAAAAA-us!!!!"

He then advances upon the helpless FM, when all of a sudden a trapdoor springs open and a fierce looking lion pounces out of the dark bowels of the arena, heading straight for Lexus, who does a quick about turn and sprints for it. The lion gives chase.

FM manages to untangle himself from the net, and, standing up hurls the spear straight at Lexus's back. Just at the same time as the lion hurled itself at Lexus's back.

A bad move on the lion's part, as the spear slams into it from behind, piercing its heart and killing it instantly.

Lexus turns around, and sees what's happened. FM takes the momentary lapse in the action to sprint towards the lion and try to retrieve his spear before Lexus can recover. But Lexus is too quick, and launches the trident straight at FM.

FM throws himself forward, the tri-prongs of the trident whooshing over his back as he rolled and came back up on his feet again, still running towards Lexus. But Lexus had another trick up his sleeve. When FM was 20 paces away Lexus made a discrete hand signal, and one of his cohorts in the forum crowd acknowledged it with a nod, then proceeded to release 500 white doves into the air from their cages.

FM heard the fluttering of wings as the flock ascended above the arena and started circling around, then he heard something much worse, Lexus was now starting to sing...

"Why do birds suddenly appear,
everytime, you are near?"

It was too much, FM's ears started to bleed, and he clamped his hands over them to prevent more bloodloss, but it was too late for that, the blood was coming out in jets as his brain melted with the agony.

"Just like me, they want to be
close to you"

There was no mercy on the part of Lexus as FM rolled about on the ground in agony, streams of blood pouring from every orifice in his body. Eventually he shuddered and lay still.

Lexus was triumphant. Lexus was:

Lexus Spammus - Gladiator

(Certificate 15, at a cinema near you, now).

they gave my stick 2 legs, 2 arms, a head and the code number '474'.

they took us to the lab and did tests on us.

just as we walked off the plain, me and my stick were caught be some blokes in white coats.

we flew for many hours till we came to bristol airport.

while the loaders were not looking we snuck onto the plain.

we scampered about and found a airplane on the track which was being load with luggage.