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As Dan suggested, here is Turbonutter’s 10-step guide to winning GAD. Some of you might be a little worried considering I’ve never won, but ah-well, sod it.
1. Originality, originality, originality! Original posts seem to go down well, so try to keep them as new as possible. Try not to do a topic that was done less than 2 months ago.
2. Post long replies. It’s not always, in fact it’s rare, that a new topic wins. Most GADs seem to be awarded to replies. Remember: What looks long in Word is usually shorter on SR. Beware!
3. Post lots. If you have an opinion, say it. If it’s a good opinion, write a long post about it.
4. Review all your games, even the ones you don’t like. Read a magazine review and note down all the points they made. Then, close the mag and write your own lengthy, well-balanced review.
5. Don’t make your post too long. I know it sounds stupid, but Dan2K1 has suffered from this in the past.
6. Make your post well written. This makes it easier to read and will get more replies. Try paragraphing it, so it looks better. Dont rite lik dis, or ppl dont want 2 reed it.
7. Complain! You are almost *cough* guaranteed to win at least 3 days after your complaint. It works almost *cough* every time!
8. The next post is ALWAYS better than the last, so keep trying. Stick at it, and success will find you.
9. If you’re stuck for idea, rip off someone else’s. Look back through the pages a few months, find a topic that hasn’t been done for a while and re-write it, but better. Better yet, look for a topic that won a few months ago.
10. If all else fails, cheat. Grab an old magazine, copy a review/article almost word-for-word, and no-one will remember. Be prepared to face exile if you’re found out though!
Now, with a list like that, how can you fail? If you do however, have a look at the below list.
10 ways of venting GAD failure frustration:
1. Complain. This will guarantee success next time!
2. Shoot the pillow! Better yet, shoot your mates. Grab a copy of UT and blast away. Even better, shoot the person who beat you!
3. Smash up a Saturn/PSone/N64 and release all that tension via the harmonic tones of sledgehammer + circuitry
4. Send “Big Mick” round to sort him out
5. Get Reaper to show you how to make an E-mail bomb.
6. Get Fat Toni to show you how to make a mail bomb.
7. Break into SR Sawbridgeworth and hold Ali up for the ransom of one game
8. Break into SR Sawbridgeworth and steal one game
9. Write a story. Stories relieve tension and even win sometimes. Try to incorporate the person who beat you into it, preferably many times but not for long. Make sure shotguns and kneecaps are involved somewhere. Walk-on-drop-dead parts are always popular.
10. Send a fake E-mail to Russia from the USA containing multiple violent insults. Send one to the USA from Russia containing much the same thing. Smile as World War III breaks out. IF YOU CAN’T HAVE THE GAME, NO-ONE CAN!!!
Calm…
Well, good luck everybody!
1. Originality, originality, originality! Original posts seem to go down well, so try to keep them as new as possible. Try not to do a topic that was done less than 2 months ago.
2. Post long replies. It’s not always, in fact it’s rare, that a new topic wins. Most GADs seem to be awarded to replies. Remember: What looks long in Word is usually shorter on SR. Beware!
3. Post lots. If you have an opinion, say it. If it’s a good opinion, write a long post about it.
4. Review all your games, even the ones you don’t like. Read a magazine review and note down all the points they made. Then, close the mag and write your own lengthy, well-balanced review.
5. Don’t make your post too long. I know it sounds stupid, but Dan2K1 has suffered from this in the past.
6. Make your post well written. This makes it easier to read and will get more replies. Try paragraphing it, so it looks better. Dont rite lik dis, or ppl dont want 2 reed it.
7. Complain! You are almost *cough* guaranteed to win at least 3 days after your complaint. It works almost *cough* every time!
8. The next post is ALWAYS better than the last, so keep trying. Stick at it, and success will find you.
9. If you’re stuck for idea, rip off someone else’s. Look back through the pages a few months, find a topic that hasn’t been done for a while and re-write it, but better. Better yet, look for a topic that won a few months ago.
10. If all else fails, cheat. Grab an old magazine, copy a review/article almost word-for-word, and no-one will remember. Be prepared to face exile if you’re found out though!
Now, with a list like that, how can you fail? If you do however, have a look at the below list.
10 ways of venting GAD failure frustration:
1. Complain. This will guarantee success next time!
2. Shoot the pillow! Better yet, shoot your mates. Grab a copy of UT and blast away. Even better, shoot the person who beat you!
3. Smash up a Saturn/PSone/N64 and release all that tension via the harmonic tones of sledgehammer + circuitry
4. Send “Big Mick” round to sort him out
5. Get Reaper to show you how to make an E-mail bomb.
6. Get Fat Toni to show you how to make a mail bomb.
7. Break into SR Sawbridgeworth and hold Ali up for the ransom of one game
8. Break into SR Sawbridgeworth and steal one game
9. Write a story. Stories relieve tension and even win sometimes. Try to incorporate the person who beat you into it, preferably many times but not for long. Make sure shotguns and kneecaps are involved somewhere. Walk-on-drop-dead parts are always popular.
10. Send a fake E-mail to Russia from the USA containing multiple violent insults. Send one to the USA from Russia containing much the same thing. Smile as World War III breaks out. IF YOU CAN’T HAVE THE GAME, NO-ONE CAN!!!
Calm…
Well, good luck everybody!
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Lol
So!! It just rpoves that Ninty's are better than PS" fans!!
:-)
:-)
zeldapro wrote:
Yea bad luck
> dat is weekends are the worst day since everybody tries on those
> days, I try on weekdays or a day when I am finished
Pathetic...
Yea bad luck
> dat is weekends are the worst day since everybody tries on those
> days, I try on weekdays or a day when I am finished
Pathetic...
zeldapro wrote:
> Here are my guide to GAD heaven remember, he is a PS2 fan and hasnt
> one a thing!!
:-)
I am a Ninty and have won 4
> times!!
:-)
I am a Ninty and have won 6 times!!
:-)
> Here are my guide to GAD heaven remember, he is a PS2 fan and hasnt
> one a thing!!
:-)
I am a Ninty and have won 4
> times!!
:-)
I am a Ninty and have won 6 times!!
:-)
Well, thanks for the support guys but it didn't win.
What a surprise.
Still, I didn't expect it to anyway.
What a surprise.
Still, I didn't expect it to anyway.
Turbonutter wrote:
> zeldapro wrote:
> Hang on you havent won at all and I have won 4
> times!!! Hmm this
> seems a bit odd with you posting your ten
> steps to GAD considering
> that you tried em and they never
> worked!!!
Actually, I've only tried two or three of them. I
> have also written quite a few GAD-worthy posts but it was just bad
> luck that a better one had been written on the same day (although
> that is a matter of opinion).
Yea bad luck dat is weekends are the worst day since everybody tries on those days, I try on weekdays or a day when I am finished
> zeldapro wrote:
> Hang on you havent won at all and I have won 4
> times!!! Hmm this
> seems a bit odd with you posting your ten
> steps to GAD considering
> that you tried em and they never
> worked!!!
Actually, I've only tried two or three of them. I
> have also written quite a few GAD-worthy posts but it was just bad
> luck that a better one had been written on the same day (although
> that is a matter of opinion).
Yea bad luck dat is weekends are the worst day since everybody tries on those days, I try on weekdays or a day when I am finished
I'm doing tonnes of reviews soon alas my new GAD attempts will be there trying to win. oh and it will begin with a long time in development the Conker review.
You know i love the game but read the review (coming soon) to find out how much.
(this sin't my first Conerk review but the next will be my main one.)
You know i love the game but read the review (coming soon) to find out how much.
(this sin't my first Conerk review but the next will be my main one.)
All this talk of reviews and lying brings back memories of Cheatguru's reviews. God, they were a riot.
Zeldapro - you have won 2wice recently, well done I appreciated those reviews. But just read my last message and you'll understand why you're wrong.
Obviously everyone has a different opinion, but there is no point in discrediting yourself by lying about how good a game is just so it sells, and maybe you'll win a game or something.
Ok, thanks for reading.
Kuma
Obviously everyone has a different opinion, but there is no point in discrediting yourself by lying about how good a game is just so it sells, and maybe you'll win a game or something.
Ok, thanks for reading.
Kuma
"Make your reviews, enthusiastic and mainly positive and only highlight 1-2 of the major downsides to the game or product, because if you remember you are trying to get a customer to buy the thing you are reviewing. "
Erm, what if you're reviewing a game that is god-awful, don't be so short sighted here. A review is not solely to help sales, it's to give your view of the product or service that you have experienced. Now, what's the point in lying?
From this you are implying that you can only write reviews that are of games you like, if not it would be lying, and what's the point in that?
It may not be a fun or particularly enjoyable thought - reviewing the most diabolical game you've ever played, but think about it - getting your own back on the lazy developer by slamming their piece of plastic trash to kingdom come. What an odd phrase.
It's actually quite good to review a game that you hate - it's often entertaining to read and write because you're aloud to make fun of the product! Anyone played Sarge's Army? What a load of tosh...
So, you're wrong here. Some games have no downsides, many have no upsides.
Geddit?
Good.
Erm, what if you're reviewing a game that is god-awful, don't be so short sighted here. A review is not solely to help sales, it's to give your view of the product or service that you have experienced. Now, what's the point in lying?
From this you are implying that you can only write reviews that are of games you like, if not it would be lying, and what's the point in that?
It may not be a fun or particularly enjoyable thought - reviewing the most diabolical game you've ever played, but think about it - getting your own back on the lazy developer by slamming their piece of plastic trash to kingdom come. What an odd phrase.
It's actually quite good to review a game that you hate - it's often entertaining to read and write because you're aloud to make fun of the product! Anyone played Sarge's Army? What a load of tosh...
So, you're wrong here. Some games have no downsides, many have no upsides.
Geddit?
Good.
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