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"Fifa 2005 feature list (Sounds slightly familiar for some reason)"

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This thread has been linked to the game 'Fifa 2005'.
Sat 24/07/04 at 22:59
Regular
"es argh"
Posts: 4,729
Har!

why our lovely friends at Fifa have decided to introduce us to a list of "brand new"™ features that only they could come up with, lets have a gander...

"Great soccer players need a great first touch—and the same is now true for gamers with FIFA Soccer 2005. Using an all-new fluid player kinetic system, a player’s first touch becomes a key advantage for players who can think quickly and act fast to outsmart the competition. An all-new animation system reacts to every button press with authentic responsiveness, directly translating to the speed and vision of the world’s greatest players."


No way. Now, for like, the first time ever, in any football game, your player gets to touch the ball, for the first time!!!1

I particularly like "An all-new animation system reacts to every button press with authentic responsiveness"

...

So now, when you press shoot, instead of it passing/crossing/crashing and laughing at you for actually buying the game, it shoots? Well done Fifa.

"With more than 350 official team and league licenses from around the world, more than 12,000 officially licensed players, an enhanced Career Mode, and EA SPORTS Online play* (PlayStation 2 console only), FIFA Soccer 2005 is the only complete, authentic, and intelligent soccer experience."

Wait a minute, they've said 1 feature, and now they've resorted back to the old LISACENSUZ!!!™!!™!""™

Yet it will still sell as it will have the best evur footballers on the cover...


Key Features

What? The list hasn't actually started??? Oh silly me, I'm judging it by a little blurb, let's have a lookie then...

"* A Great Player Needs a Great First Touch: A quality first touch—intrinsic to the sport itself—is the essential trait that separates good players from great players on the soccer pitch. Improved button and control sensitivity provides an authentic first touch for users of FIFA Soccer 2005™™™™™. Using the fluid player kinetic system, soccer’s most important skill has been revamped to give the most responsive and rewarding control system to date."

...De ja vu? I thought this was the feature list?


"* Added Gameplay Depth: Off the Ball™ Control is fine tuned and better than ever in FIFA Soccer 2005. Take command of players not in possession of the ball by calling in tackles, jostling for space, and sending your teammates on runs as you control the pitch. Movement on throw-ins has also been added to enhance authenticity.

HAhaHahAHAhahaHAhAhaHAH

They're still pushing the off the ball™™™™™™™?

"Movement on throw-ins has also been added to enhance authenticity"

What? Hasn't this been in every single football game ever? And it's just been added into Fifa?



* The Absolute Broadcast: With new in-game camera angles, smooth cut sequences for replays, and improved contrast and lighting for players and stadiums, FIFA Soccer 2005 has the look and feel of an authentic television broadcast experience. Add in authentic crowd chants from officially licensed stadiums—both large and small—and FIFA Soccer 2005 offers the most immersive experience available.

A couple of new cameras is a new feature?

And "improved contrast and lighting for players and stadiums"?

Well, I find the lighting espeshulley impressive in this screenshot [URL]http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/2004/screen_e3/920608_20040511_screen002.jpg[/URL]

Thelight is obviously coming from the Juve player on the left's crotch, or his amazingly shiny head.



* Deeper Career Mode: FIFA Soccer 2005’s deep Career Mode tests your skills both on the pitch and in the front office. Build your franchise and guide your club to the Championship.

"Test your skills in an office", right...


* The World’s Ultimate Roster: More than 350 official team and league licenses from around the world—including 20 leagues and 40 national teams—and more than 12,000 licensed players are available. From the fast pace of Europe’s super leagues to up-and-coming teams in the lower divisions, FIFA Soccer 2005 provides the most authentic selection of the world’s top teams, players, and environments.

THE WORLD'S ULTImATE ROSTER™™™™™™™™™ Bow infront of it and kiss it's feet. Old tactics.


* EA SPORTS Online: EA SPORTS Online for the PlayStation 2 console allows users to play online against opponents from around the country. An online lobby area allows gamers to meet, greet, chat, set up tournaments, download roster updates, and play FIFA Soccer 2005 head-to-head. Make it to the top, and then try to maintain your place as the best gamer anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

"You can go to the online lobby and chat, greet, see new people....and play the game if you like"

Hang on, apart from this "FIRST TOUCH SYSTEM™™™™™", which, we all have to admit, is a revolution in football games, none of the other features are about gameplay.

Crazy.

But even crazier is the fact that it'll sell more than The rest of the footy games put together.

Am I the only one mising something?
Sun 25/07/04 at 01:02
Regular
"es argh"
Posts: 4,729
Non non, t'is Nichola.
Sun 25/07/04 at 11:36
Regular
"gametag:thebestbit"
Posts: 877
a lot of theat was [email protected] the online only for ps2.
Sun 25/07/04 at 16:02
Regular
"sdomehtongng"
Posts: 23,695
Well it's FIFA we're talking about here. Of course a lot of it is crap... :-)
Sun 25/07/04 at 21:09
Regular
"gametag:thebestbit"
Posts: 877
too true
Mon 26/07/04 at 02:47
Regular
"es argh"
Posts: 4,729
omg wtf lol wrote:
> Shut up, Nickola.

We used to be frends until you turned evul.

T'was Fifa no doubt.

Or living in Liverpool, one of the two.

Har, ;)
Mon 26/07/04 at 02:57
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
Wakka wrote:
> Wow. Dat is teh ro>
Don't mock it, or I'll break your legs.
I kindly donated teh ™ to teh msn badgur.
So shut up.
Mon 26/07/04 at 11:40
Regular
": ("
Posts: 5,614
Okay!
I cant hold it in, i've been playing Fifa 2004 non-stop for the last 2 days because i've just bought it for my cousin!

BUT!

Its only because I haven't played a Footie game for about a year.

The truth hurts.
Mon 26/07/04 at 11:46
Regular
"Redness Returneth"
Posts: 8,310
Do you expect us to care?
Mon 26/07/04 at 18:27
Regular
": ("
Posts: 5,614
Who is 'us'?

Whoever they are your not part of them.
Mon 26/07/04 at 20:47
Regular
"'My brain hurts'"
Posts: 11
Y r u gettin so excited about Pro Evo? FIFA is da best footie game ever. why does every1 like pro evo anyway. in fifa you get all the leagues, online play, more realism, scale models of the stadiums, the stadiums don't have thousands of konami banners hanging around, the gameplay is better, it has story mode, training mode, you can import matches from manager games, you can use your EA profiles, you have thousands of team's home, away and third kits, you can have multiple profiles, u can control multiple players at once with "Off The Ball", better visuals, in players, menus and stadiums, all the tournaments including FA cup the champions league, the spanish FA cup, le cup d'france , the UEFA cup, euro 2004, the world cup, and you can do better skills... the list is endless, but after all that is finished, yeah Pro Evo is better, because pro evo has...erm...worse graphics...uh...worse gameplay...

I rest my case

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