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"A Joke To Help You Get To The Weekend"

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Fri 11/11/05 at 13:46
Regular
"@RichSmedley"
Posts: 10,009
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released -New LP -Wasps of the World and the sounds that they make-available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognized none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant.

"If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head.

"I don't understand it", he says,

"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."

Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth.

Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated.

"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."


"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant.....

"I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."
Sat 12/11/05 at 16:03
Regular
"@RichSmedley"
Posts: 10,009
It's probably because you're expecting a joke and the answer given is the obvious one.
Sat 12/11/05 at 16:01
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
many goats wrote:
> Alfonse wrote:
> What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got into the bat mobile?
>
> Get into the batmobile Robin.
>
> Heh!

I have no idea why, but that one always makes me chuckle a little.
Sat 12/11/05 at 16:00
Regular
"@RichSmedley"
Posts: 10,009
It's like all jokes just after someone dies - there were some really sick Diana ones.
Sat 12/11/05 at 15:41
Regular
"Catch it!"
Posts: 6,840
Yeah that joke just made me shake my head.
Sat 12/11/05 at 12:53
Regular
"@RichSmedley"
Posts: 10,009
C$ Bb wrote:

> One that my Dad's friend at work said that I thought was horrible.
>
> "I have half price tickets for the Two Ronnies"

One that you really shouldn't laugh at but do.
Sat 12/11/05 at 10:51
Regular
"Gamertag = Chavex"
Posts: 1,367
*a gate creaks on its hinges*
Sat 12/11/05 at 10:19
"For the horde!!!!"
Posts: 3,656
*tumbleweed rolls past*
Sat 12/11/05 at 10:12
Regular
"Twenty quid."
Posts: 11,452
C$ Bb wrote:
> What would you have if you had nuts on your chest?
> Chestnuts.
>
> What would you have if you had nuts on your wall?
> Walnuts.


What would you have if you had nuts on your chin?
A d*ck in your mouth.
Sat 12/11/05 at 00:07
Regular
"Catch it!"
Posts: 6,840
I liked it. Now heres some jokes that my Dad told me some other jokes I have heard. That make me laugh and shake my head.

What would you have if you had nuts on your chest?

Chestnuts.

What would you have if you had nuts on your wall?

Walnuts.

How old do you think Bruce Forsyth is? "87"

No Higher, Higher.

Here's one my Mum said the other day. A leaf lands on the car. My Mum says "Leaf us alone".

One that my Dad's friend at work said that I thought was horrible.

"I have half price tickets for the Two Ronnies"

Another one of my Dads.

A woman goes to the Doctors for a check up. The Doctor first says "I will have to weigh your boobs first" So the Doctor walks over to the woman "Weighhhhhhhhhhhhhh".
Fri 11/11/05 at 23:18
Regular
"Incomprehendible"
Posts: 2,938
Alfonse wrote:
> What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got into the bat mobile?
>
> Get into the batmobile Robin.

Heh!

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