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Has anyone got any jokes that make yourself laugh and others. Jokes that are only funny to you but others don't seem to get. Or wet your pants jokes that make everyone laugh.
What's yours.
Here's mine (bare with me)
A tramp runs into a bar, and asks the barman for a toohpick, the barman tells him that he doesn't want any of his kind in the pub, so he gives him a toothpick and tells the tramp to tell the other tramps not to come in. Five minutes late another tramps runs in asking for a toothpick, the barman shouts i thought i told you lot to keep out. Any way the tramp gets his toothpick and runs out.
Another five minutes go past and a third tramp runs in, the barman is really annoyed now and hands out a toohpick straight away but the tramp doesn't want it, and asks for a straw; the barman asks him what he wants that for and says "a man has been sick down the alley and all the chunky bits have gone"
HAHAHA
What's yours.
Here's mine (bare with me)
A tramp runs into a bar, and asks the barman for a toohpick, the barman tells him that he doesn't want any of his kind in the pub, so he gives him a toothpick and tells the tramp to tell the other tramps not to come in. Five minutes late another tramps runs in asking for a toothpick, the barman shouts i thought i told you lot to keep out. Any way the tramp gets his toothpick and runs out.
Another five minutes go past and a third tramp runs in, the barman is really annoyed now and hands out a toohpick straight away but the tramp doesn't want it, and asks for a straw; the barman asks him what he wants that for and says "a man has been sick down the alley and all the chunky bits have gone"
HAHAHA
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Has anyone got any jokes that make yourself laugh and others. Jokes that are only funny to you but others don't seem to get. Or wet your pants jokes that make everyone laugh.
What's yours.
Here's mine (bare with me)
A tramp runs into a bar, and asks the barman for a toohpick, the barman tells him that he doesn't want any of his kind in the pub, so he gives him a toothpick and tells the tramp to tell the other tramps not to come in. Five minutes late another tramps runs in asking for a toothpick, the barman shouts i thought i told you lot to keep out. Any way the tramp gets his toothpick and runs out.
Another five minutes go past and a third tramp runs in, the barman is really annoyed now and hands out a toohpick straight away but the tramp doesn't want it, and asks for a straw; the barman asks him what he wants that for and says "a man has been sick down the alley and all the chunky bits have gone"
HAHAHA
What's yours.
Here's mine (bare with me)
A tramp runs into a bar, and asks the barman for a toohpick, the barman tells him that he doesn't want any of his kind in the pub, so he gives him a toothpick and tells the tramp to tell the other tramps not to come in. Five minutes late another tramps runs in asking for a toothpick, the barman shouts i thought i told you lot to keep out. Any way the tramp gets his toothpick and runs out.
Another five minutes go past and a third tramp runs in, the barman is really annoyed now and hands out a toohpick straight away but the tramp doesn't want it, and asks for a straw; the barman asks him what he wants that for and says "a man has been sick down the alley and all the chunky bits have gone"
HAHAHA
Ew?
Thats not funny.....I could,but am too lazy to type all of a joke.
Q What's white, made of plastic and dangerous to kids?
A Michael Jackson
* * *
Q How do you make a baby cry twice?
A Wipe your penis on its teddy bear
* * *
I've done enough sick jokes, I feel...
A Michael Jackson
* * *
Q How do you make a baby cry twice?
A Wipe your penis on its teddy bear
* * *
I've done enough sick jokes, I feel...
Why was harold shipman the leader of the belmarsh boxing team?
He delivered a lethal jab.
He delivered a lethal jab.
"sigh"okay
A groom before he gets married goes to his soon to be sis in law's house after she invites him.
She comes on to him,and says if he wants to "do it" to go up to her bedroom.
She runs upstairs and some panties fall down from the top of the stairs.
The groom runs straight to the front door,and when he gets out,see's his father-in-law there.
Well done he says,you have past the test,you can now marry my daughter.
The moral of the story:
Always keep your c*****s in the car!;)
A groom before he gets married goes to his soon to be sis in law's house after she invites him.
She comes on to him,and says if he wants to "do it" to go up to her bedroom.
She runs upstairs and some panties fall down from the top of the stairs.
The groom runs straight to the front door,and when he gets out,see's his father-in-law there.
Well done he says,you have past the test,you can now marry my daughter.
The moral of the story:
Always keep your c*****s in the car!;)
The laziness would be better for everyone, I feel.
Why on earth would you censor "condoms?"
Those damn right-wingers
Those damn right-wingers
What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!
You know you want to laugh really.
The elephantom of the opera!
You know you want to laugh really.
here's another one (another bar joke)
a man walks in a bar and asks the barman for 3 double whiskies, and the barman says to him "are you sure" because there is only one man. He says yeah ,so he drinks them down and asks the barman for 3 double bacardi and coke, once agian the barman asks him if he's ok. He says i'm fine, he drinks them down (tipsy on his chair now) he says (in drunk voice)can i have another 3 whiskies, and the barman says to him that he is not allowed as he cannot see the man in a worse state. So the barman asks the man is it a special occasion, so the man goes "yeah i just had my first blow job" so the barman says "soo your'e celebrating then" and the man says "no, i just can't get that damn taste out of my mouth"
HAHAHAHA
a man walks in a bar and asks the barman for 3 double whiskies, and the barman says to him "are you sure" because there is only one man. He says yeah ,so he drinks them down and asks the barman for 3 double bacardi and coke, once agian the barman asks him if he's ok. He says i'm fine, he drinks them down (tipsy on his chair now) he says (in drunk voice)can i have another 3 whiskies, and the barman says to him that he is not allowed as he cannot see the man in a worse state. So the barman asks the man is it a special occasion, so the man goes "yeah i just had my first blow job" so the barman says "soo your'e celebrating then" and the man says "no, i just can't get that damn taste out of my mouth"
HAHAHAHA
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