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""Imagine you sign for a package for your neighbour...""

"...The neighbour waits a few days before contacting the Post Office, who tell him where they delivered your new TV. Your neighbour stabs you for being a thief. Fin."

"...you open the package to find a life size blow up doll of Peewee Herman. Now everyone thinks you're gay, you're sent to Gaycamp to get degayified"

"...you open the parcel and there, grinning up at you, is Crossbob, you die on the spot!..."

"...you open the parcel and out shoots hundreds of spiders, escaping everywhere around your house..."

"...you open the package and are instantly punched by a boxing glove on a spring, sending you flying back into the glass living room table. This causes you to run around screaming, crashing into the kitchen door, before banging your head on the lit stove, and sending the kitchen knives your way"

Happy April Fools day!

Don't open it, because you're scared of being a criminal / dying.

Then you hear a quiet scratching sound. You're scared someone's posted your neighbour a zombie, so you leave it in there.


After a couple of days the scratching stops. A few days further on and you've built up the courage (and bought a shotgun) to open up the package.

Inside you find the dead bodies of two baby kittens.


The lesson? If you sign for a package, give it to your neighbour promptly.

And it's 99% certain that it won't be a zombie.

"inside you find a small barn, set fire to it, and blame it on Neal."