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Feel my pain.
Today I planned to start the day by watching the cricket conclude and then spend the afternoon watching the Community Shield but no, I can't hae those simple pleasures can I?
I am woken from deep sleep by an annoying high pitched voice telling me the marvellous news. I drowsily made my way around the house saying, "Nooo, no, noo!" hoping that somebody would hear and understand. Nobody did.
So, I was driven away knowing that I missing the conclusion to the cricket and to make matters worse I was forced into listening to a showtunes CD that came free in the Daily Mail. I truly wanted to die, especially as Mr. Mistoffelees was on repeat for about 15 minutes. Anybody that's ever heard that song will understand.
I always used to enjoy watching the monkeys rip the windscreen wipers off cars but they all caught a disease a few years back and were burnt or something like that so I had nothing to look forward to. We did not start by viewing the animals though, no, we went into the amusement park type section with the restaurants, etc. There was also a reptile house here and an old woman had a fit in there and fell to the floor. They even had to bring an ambulance in. I also noticed that some of the members of staff seemed to find it highly amusing.
This was followed by the sealion show. I've seen it hundreds of times. It's always been crap. It started quite promisingly though, with the sealions coming onto the stage accompanied by the A-Team theme music. Disappointingly, Mr. T was not one of the trainers. Instead, we we're given some annoying twenty-something year old woman who ended ebery sentence with "guys". "How's it goin' guys? Shall we give 'em a round of applause guys? That's not loud enough guys?"
We moved swiftly to the amusement park. It doesn't really deserve that title though considering it did not amuse. The rides are awful although they have greatly improved since I was younger. That's not saying much though. In protest of the crapness I refused to have a wristband knowing that all I'd end up doing is sit on little trains with my 5 year old brother.
My gran, being the genius that she is, decided to let my brother try to get on the carousel himself. This is tough for a 5 year old, those horses are high up and even if he did make it up, somebody of his height should be accompanied by an adult unless they don't mind falling off and cracking their head open. He made it halfway on to the horse but then sat there with his feet in awkward positions, crying, and ready to fall of at any moment. That was my cue to leap over the railings, pull him off and carry him back over the railings just before the ride started. Then we dumped him on a little train instead and everybody was happy.
I also found the ultimate ride for paedophiles. You could get some unwanted views if you stand underneath it, especially when little girls wear little dresses and skirts in summer. I managed to escape before seeing anything unsavoury.
There's nothing else worth mentioning other than the fact that we didn't actually do the safari bit because they'd closed by the time we reached the car again. Now all I have to do is wait for Today at the Test to come on.
And for anybody that hasn't heard about that gitty cat: [URL]http://www.musicalarchiv.ch/a_sound/cats_19.mp3[/URL]
Now do you understand? Weep for me.
Today I planned to start the day by watching the cricket conclude and then spend the afternoon watching the Community Shield but no, I can't hae those simple pleasures can I?
I am woken from deep sleep by an annoying high pitched voice telling me the marvellous news. I drowsily made my way around the house saying, "Nooo, no, noo!" hoping that somebody would hear and understand. Nobody did.
So, I was driven away knowing that I missing the conclusion to the cricket and to make matters worse I was forced into listening to a showtunes CD that came free in the Daily Mail. I truly wanted to die, especially as Mr. Mistoffelees was on repeat for about 15 minutes. Anybody that's ever heard that song will understand.
I always used to enjoy watching the monkeys rip the windscreen wipers off cars but they all caught a disease a few years back and were burnt or something like that so I had nothing to look forward to. We did not start by viewing the animals though, no, we went into the amusement park type section with the restaurants, etc. There was also a reptile house here and an old woman had a fit in there and fell to the floor. They even had to bring an ambulance in. I also noticed that some of the members of staff seemed to find it highly amusing.
This was followed by the sealion show. I've seen it hundreds of times. It's always been crap. It started quite promisingly though, with the sealions coming onto the stage accompanied by the A-Team theme music. Disappointingly, Mr. T was not one of the trainers. Instead, we we're given some annoying twenty-something year old woman who ended ebery sentence with "guys". "How's it goin' guys? Shall we give 'em a round of applause guys? That's not loud enough guys?"
We moved swiftly to the amusement park. It doesn't really deserve that title though considering it did not amuse. The rides are awful although they have greatly improved since I was younger. That's not saying much though. In protest of the crapness I refused to have a wristband knowing that all I'd end up doing is sit on little trains with my 5 year old brother.
My gran, being the genius that she is, decided to let my brother try to get on the carousel himself. This is tough for a 5 year old, those horses are high up and even if he did make it up, somebody of his height should be accompanied by an adult unless they don't mind falling off and cracking their head open. He made it halfway on to the horse but then sat there with his feet in awkward positions, crying, and ready to fall of at any moment. That was my cue to leap over the railings, pull him off and carry him back over the railings just before the ride started. Then we dumped him on a little train instead and everybody was happy.
I also found the ultimate ride for paedophiles. You could get some unwanted views if you stand underneath it, especially when little girls wear little dresses and skirts in summer. I managed to escape before seeing anything unsavoury.
There's nothing else worth mentioning other than the fact that we didn't actually do the safari bit because they'd closed by the time we reached the car again. Now all I have to do is wait for Today at the Test to come on.
And for anybody that hasn't heard about that gitty cat: [URL]http://www.musicalarchiv.ch/a_sound/cats_19.mp3[/URL]
Now do you understand? Weep for me.
Page:
You gave me everything I needed to know.
Stryke wrote:
> Zoos are great. You must accept this.
But like I said, we never actually got round the safari section and since the monkey burning it just hasn't been the same. There was a hippo eating whole cabbages though. He rocked.
> Zoos are great. You must accept this.
But like I said, we never actually got round the safari section and since the monkey burning it just hasn't been the same. There was a hippo eating whole cabbages though. He rocked.
J Nash wrote:
> A nice story, tell me more about these girls.
Well, they were young, they were in the air, and they had dresses on. I can't tell you anymore because I didn't stay around to find anymore out.
> A nice story, tell me more about these girls.
Well, they were young, they were in the air, and they had dresses on. I can't tell you anymore because I didn't stay around to find anymore out.
Zoos are great. You must accept this. Any form of animal-based entertainment, be it zoos, rooster (spot the swear filter) fighting or bear baiting - it's worth your time and money.
Lizard fights, that's an idea. A Komodo Dragon vs a gecko, or something. You'd get great odds on the gecko.
Lizard fights, that's an idea. A Komodo Dragon vs a gecko, or something. You'd get great odds on the gecko.
A nice story, tell me more about these girls.
Feel my pain.
Today I planned to start the day by watching the cricket conclude and then spend the afternoon watching the Community Shield but no, I can't hae those simple pleasures can I?
I am woken from deep sleep by an annoying high pitched voice telling me the marvellous news. I drowsily made my way around the house saying, "Nooo, no, noo!" hoping that somebody would hear and understand. Nobody did.
So, I was driven away knowing that I missing the conclusion to the cricket and to make matters worse I was forced into listening to a showtunes CD that came free in the Daily Mail. I truly wanted to die, especially as Mr. Mistoffelees was on repeat for about 15 minutes. Anybody that's ever heard that song will understand.
I always used to enjoy watching the monkeys rip the windscreen wipers off cars but they all caught a disease a few years back and were burnt or something like that so I had nothing to look forward to. We did not start by viewing the animals though, no, we went into the amusement park type section with the restaurants, etc. There was also a reptile house here and an old woman had a fit in there and fell to the floor. They even had to bring an ambulance in. I also noticed that some of the members of staff seemed to find it highly amusing.
This was followed by the sealion show. I've seen it hundreds of times. It's always been crap. It started quite promisingly though, with the sealions coming onto the stage accompanied by the A-Team theme music. Disappointingly, Mr. T was not one of the trainers. Instead, we we're given some annoying twenty-something year old woman who ended ebery sentence with "guys". "How's it goin' guys? Shall we give 'em a round of applause guys? That's not loud enough guys?"
We moved swiftly to the amusement park. It doesn't really deserve that title though considering it did not amuse. The rides are awful although they have greatly improved since I was younger. That's not saying much though. In protest of the crapness I refused to have a wristband knowing that all I'd end up doing is sit on little trains with my 5 year old brother.
My gran, being the genius that she is, decided to let my brother try to get on the carousel himself. This is tough for a 5 year old, those horses are high up and even if he did make it up, somebody of his height should be accompanied by an adult unless they don't mind falling off and cracking their head open. He made it halfway on to the horse but then sat there with his feet in awkward positions, crying, and ready to fall of at any moment. That was my cue to leap over the railings, pull him off and carry him back over the railings just before the ride started. Then we dumped him on a little train instead and everybody was happy.
I also found the ultimate ride for paedophiles. You could get some unwanted views if you stand underneath it, especially when little girls wear little dresses and skirts in summer. I managed to escape before seeing anything unsavoury.
There's nothing else worth mentioning other than the fact that we didn't actually do the safari bit because they'd closed by the time we reached the car again. Now all I have to do is wait for Today at the Test to come on.
And for anybody that hasn't heard about that gitty cat: [URL]http://www.musicalarchiv.ch/a_sound/cats_19.mp3[/URL]
Now do you understand? Weep for me.
Today I planned to start the day by watching the cricket conclude and then spend the afternoon watching the Community Shield but no, I can't hae those simple pleasures can I?
I am woken from deep sleep by an annoying high pitched voice telling me the marvellous news. I drowsily made my way around the house saying, "Nooo, no, noo!" hoping that somebody would hear and understand. Nobody did.
So, I was driven away knowing that I missing the conclusion to the cricket and to make matters worse I was forced into listening to a showtunes CD that came free in the Daily Mail. I truly wanted to die, especially as Mr. Mistoffelees was on repeat for about 15 minutes. Anybody that's ever heard that song will understand.
I always used to enjoy watching the monkeys rip the windscreen wipers off cars but they all caught a disease a few years back and were burnt or something like that so I had nothing to look forward to. We did not start by viewing the animals though, no, we went into the amusement park type section with the restaurants, etc. There was also a reptile house here and an old woman had a fit in there and fell to the floor. They even had to bring an ambulance in. I also noticed that some of the members of staff seemed to find it highly amusing.
This was followed by the sealion show. I've seen it hundreds of times. It's always been crap. It started quite promisingly though, with the sealions coming onto the stage accompanied by the A-Team theme music. Disappointingly, Mr. T was not one of the trainers. Instead, we we're given some annoying twenty-something year old woman who ended ebery sentence with "guys". "How's it goin' guys? Shall we give 'em a round of applause guys? That's not loud enough guys?"
We moved swiftly to the amusement park. It doesn't really deserve that title though considering it did not amuse. The rides are awful although they have greatly improved since I was younger. That's not saying much though. In protest of the crapness I refused to have a wristband knowing that all I'd end up doing is sit on little trains with my 5 year old brother.
My gran, being the genius that she is, decided to let my brother try to get on the carousel himself. This is tough for a 5 year old, those horses are high up and even if he did make it up, somebody of his height should be accompanied by an adult unless they don't mind falling off and cracking their head open. He made it halfway on to the horse but then sat there with his feet in awkward positions, crying, and ready to fall of at any moment. That was my cue to leap over the railings, pull him off and carry him back over the railings just before the ride started. Then we dumped him on a little train instead and everybody was happy.
I also found the ultimate ride for paedophiles. You could get some unwanted views if you stand underneath it, especially when little girls wear little dresses and skirts in summer. I managed to escape before seeing anything unsavoury.
There's nothing else worth mentioning other than the fact that we didn't actually do the safari bit because they'd closed by the time we reached the car again. Now all I have to do is wait for Today at the Test to come on.
And for anybody that hasn't heard about that gitty cat: [URL]http://www.musicalarchiv.ch/a_sound/cats_19.mp3[/URL]
Now do you understand? Weep for me.
Page: