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"Another MoJo night out"

Sadly without pictures (I forgot my camera) or my gang of BEANO mates (though there is a mention of Stone Cold Psycho Bennett)

So, some people's contracts are up at work, and Friday was their last day. For the last two weeks I've been working evenings training new people so I’ve been away from my team. We went to the pub at 12 for some chips and a pint so we could give Gemma, the unfortunate (or fortunate, however you wanna look at it) one to be going from our team her cards and presents (my message in the card was the best, hands down)

Just so you know, Gemma is exceedingly short, so of course I had to wear this t-shirt.

[URL]http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=411[/URL]

Mine's green and red and 'tis very good.

Anyway, I went off to do my usual job and at 8pm left work and headed to the metro station. Along the way I see a girl called Laura who was working evenings also, who was rather lovely and wanted some company. She's got this thing about sitting on guy's laps and I was no exception. I'd say it's because she fancies me, but she does it with the guy sitting opposite her at work when they're waiting for the metro too. She does enjoy feeling my arms and stomach though...

So I'm sitting with a nice lady on my knee and as a metro goes in the opposite direction I spot Stone Cold Psycho Bennett in it. Don't know if he saw me wave... Anyway, my metro arrives and the lovely, curvy and blonde Katie is waiting for me on it. So I sit next to her on the metro, again with Laura on my knee and we go to town (minus Laura as she got off at another stop)

The "What's he doing with HER?!" looks start as Katie and I walk along with linked arms (do they really find it so impossible that I'd be going out with someone that nice- oh wait, I see their point, but I'm not going out with her so it's fair enough)

We meet about 10-15 people from work who've already been out a few hours and Gemma has these "girl's night out" cards which have dares on that you have to pick from the deck. Stuff like "Go to the bar and ask for the barman's special whilst winking" or “Go to the toilet and…” All very well indeed, but she was mostly handing them out to the lads. Jason, a manager, came back from the bogs with his shirt inside out, Craig had to dance like a girl by himself and Katie came back from the bogs with toilet roll coming out of her skirt. Yes, hilarious... Though apparently buttoning up a shirt which is inside out is very hard to do, I'll have to keep that in mind for future reference...

We go to another bar and I get talking to John, who's basically been my boss for the past two weeks and loves me because I'm good at my job and I can insult Gemma like nobody else. We're talking grade A short jokes every day for several months. Aww, poor girl. She knows we love her really.

Lots of heavy drinking (treble vodkas were £3 and I had people buying them for me) and watching Gemma, Katie and co dance like lesbians in-between pish-taking sessions. And some mortal guy in the bogs told me to make love to him... then warbled on about Sunderland football team being crap. He could barely look me in the eye, he was so gone. But at least he supported Newcastle with pride.

I must really be feeling my age because after one more bar I was considering going home (catching the last metro for free instead of staying and having to pay 10 quid for a taxi later on) John's bird showed up, which sort of put a downer on things as she didn't know anyone else there, and I remember talking to that Craig kid for ages about how I knew his brother, how much paintballing hurts and how I wished I had Photoshop at work instead of having to use paint to put certain stuff together. He took my email address and said he'd email me a link to the newest version, and hey presto, when I finally got out of bed this morning it was there waiting for me (he sent it at 9am, God knows what he was doing up at that time)

I didn't get to say goodbye as most people had already gone off clubbing thinking we were gonna catch up, but I didn't fancy paying 6 quid to get in somewhere then spend the night trying to track them down again so I stumbled back the metro station, sent a few goodbye texts (though I only had three people's numbers, but at least they were all of nice looking ladies) then caught the last metro home at about midnight. Only about 3 hours of drinking, damn I must be past my prime... But I was nicely drunk, had a laugh, watched some raunchy dancing, got to make fun of Gemma for the last time (until I get bored and text her) and now have stories about people at work and what they do when they're drunk.

Back to normal hours on Monday, I won't see Laura again and Natasha (another girl I was training) knocked me back when I asked for her number (said I wasn't trying hard enough to get it, but I couldn't tell if she was being serious or just teasing me, the sexy little minx, ah well, at least I can still email them both, which they’ve asked me to do) Back to normal work again, which sucks, because when I'm training new people I'm feared and respected. On daytime hours I'm just another cog…

Now I’m hungover and I’m meant to be going to The Wal’s brother’s BBQ… might not bother but I need to give his brother some money for the holiday tickets… Ah well.

Gin!?

Ah you ARE old. :P

I drink Gin when I'm raiding the very last of the drinks cabinet.

Had it with grapefruit juice but it's still HORRIBLE!

"The best bit was the T-shirt Hell Reference.

Did you find your shirt cost was equal to the postage cost?"

Na, I think the cost's alright, added together it's still about the same as buying a t-shirt in town with some less funny comment on it (I've got another one on the way, that'll be number four from t-shirthell)

Alcopops are the devil's work, they taste like bum. Beer is an aquired taste, sometimes a bottle of Stella is a god send, other times I can barely knock down one pint. It gets better the older you get.

Vodka and coke is decent, not as sickly as vodka and red bull. Trouble is, with beer you know when you've had enough because you're full, with spirits and mixers you can drink it all night then suddenly you're on your face. That's why lasses get so mortal, if they were on the beer they wouldn't be as bad.

If they were on beer they'd generally be hoofed mingers.

But there you go.

Lmao, they're not all mingers who drink beer...a lot of them are just common tarts. Actually it seems like everyone in my town are one of those, and it sucks big time.

They're all mingers eventually from falling flat on their faces and growing beer bellys (although their bellys might bounce them back up again saving their faces).

Well, if they're lucky that is. I see your point though. They are usually the girls who have bad personalities, go out and drink, as they think they are hard, and can handle loads, and only go to pubs in hope to get laid. That sounds about right.

"The desperate ladettes"

Indeed. Probably the high school dropouts or something along those lines.

Vodka/Coke is fowl. Considering they're both my favourite drinks, I don't like em together. I used to *hate* Reef, now I like it. Used to hate Smirnoff, now like it. And Raspberry Archer's is something everyone should try. It doesn't even taste like alcohol, so when you go to stand up, you're confused for a few seconds as to why you're drunk..
Something's changed.. I'm turning into an alcopoppy girl.. :'(

Um.. are they selling Lemon Coke yet?

Yea, they have had lemon coke for ages. ;)