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"Attn: Warriors of the Jihad"

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Thu 07/07/05 at 22:27
Regular
Posts: 21
Please read this quickly, for I no know when their government infidels will find this message and take it down. I have masked my location, so fear not for my safety.

Not many extremists know this, but there is a little known group of well liked people all over the UK called Chavs. I have highlighted it for easy reading. It has come to my attention that these people are well looked up to in the British community, and when one, or (JIHAD HOME RUN!) a whole group are killed or injured, the local residents feel great emotion for a long while - even for the rest of their lives.

So for maximum damage, I suggest you target these groups (they rarely walk alone, though couples (usually the "King" and Queen" of the group) are known to break away occasionally. These chavs, when compared to the average infidel, are far smaller than appearance, but do not be fooled. They usually wear high class "Burberry" brand flat caps, chequered trousers and assorted jewellery. It is easy to see why they are much respected. If you approach them, they even emit a torturous scent known only as a "Lynx overdose".

Clearly we must stop their authority and ignite severe feelings within the community - and for that we must know where they are located. There have been frequent sightings in the past few years, and I have discovered a pattern. On average, groups of these infidels (also given the name "neds") leave the McDonalds chain restaurant from 3-7 in the evening, no doubt poking fun at us with their tasty food, served almost instantly after orders.

Other general locations include: quiet residential areas, car parks and off licences - no doubt signs of respected people under constant stress. So do not hesitate, hit them when they're weak - strike for the glory of Jihad! Kill all Chavs!!!!
Sun 10/07/05 at 12:31
Regular
"END OF AN ERA"
Posts: 6,015
Worst. Thread. Evar.
Sun 10/07/05 at 12:19
Regular
"Not a Jew"
Posts: 7,532
"Shotty" being short for shotgun.

~Edit~
And you don't need water either.
Sun 10/07/05 at 12:17
Regular
"you've got a beard"
Posts: 7,442
gimo80 wrote:
> Timmargh wrote:
> gimo80 wrote:
> Stuff
>
> What's a "shotty" ?
>
> When they get a plastic bottle with a little bit of water inside, put
> a hole through it, slot a jay inside it with weed (obviously), then
> light it up, causing smoke to completely fill up the bottle. They
> then inhale all of the smoke, and they are then totally stoned out of
> their faces.
>
> I detest this, however.

so it's a D.I.Y bong then.
dirty bucket water.
Sat 09/07/05 at 14:46
Regular
"In Soviet Russia..."
Posts: 3,934
Cong_Man wrote:
> smv wrote:
> Another chav thread!
>
> Excellent, we don't get enough of these!
>
> Umm, maybe we should do something to encourage more Chav posts then.
> Like offering a prize (death) to the next 'Chav' post...

Depends. How about the prize of death to a chav for every Chav post?
Sat 09/07/05 at 14:42
Regular
"Divine Davine"
Posts: 799
Timmargh wrote:
> gimo80 wrote:
> Stuff
>
> What's a "shotty" ?

When they get a plastic bottle with a little bit of water inside, put a hole through it, slot a jay inside it with weed (obviously), then light it up, causing smoke to completely fill up the bottle. They then inhale all of the smoke, and they are then totally stoned out of their faces.

I detest this, however.
Fri 08/07/05 at 15:14
Regular
"The Red Shift"
Posts: 6,807
Cong_Man wrote:
> Umm, maybe we should do something to encourage more Chav posts then.
> Like offering a prize (death) to the next 'Chav' post...

:D
Fri 08/07/05 at 13:24
Regular
"..."
Posts: 9,808
smv wrote:
> Another chav thread!
>
> Excellent, we don't get enough of these!

Umm, maybe we should do something to encourage more Chav posts then. Like offering a prize (death) to the next 'Chav' post...
Fri 08/07/05 at 13:21
Regular
"gsybe you!"
Posts: 18,825
HAHA chortle chortle chav haha haha larf aha

no
Fri 08/07/05 at 13:03
Regular
"Twenty quid."
Posts: 11,452
gimo80 wrote:
> Stuff

What's a "shotty" ?
Fri 08/07/05 at 12:00
Regular
"Divine Davine"
Posts: 799
Oh did anyone watch the latest episode of 'Teen Angels' the other day? Chav-a-rama, I can tell you that for sure. You got to see what they did at night and it was just unbelievable - chucking rubbish at a granny whilst calling her a b***h, going into a superstore and messing everything up inside, etc.

What possesses these kids to do these things - its disgusting. And now I sound like an old woman :p

Yup, and we sure do need some more chav threads!

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