The "Creative Writing" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
“What’s the matter Mike” asked Bill. “Well one of the monkeys bit me today” he answered. “What?” said Bill with his eyes popping out his head in astonishment. “One of them bit me that’s what I said”, “You do know those monkeys have a virus don’t you Mike”, “Oh crap that’s why I was throwing up so much today I felt like I was going to throw up me guts”, “Oh god don’t come near me mike I’m leaving we are going to have to put you in the chamber tomorrow”. Bill ran out the bar leaving friend of a friend mike behind the virus infected friend of a friend. Bill ran home what if Mike had let the monkey go and let it run away Bill might be walking along and have a monkey jump on him and bite him, but no Mike would never ever be that stupid he would have shot it with a syringe to knock it out. But Bill still just ran for it never looking back when he got in he locked the door behind him locked all his windows had a drink of beer and went to bed hoping not to be bitten by a monkey.
When he woke in the morning his friend of a friend Mike was knocking at the door “I’m not going to let you in Mike I’m just going to talk to you from behind the door”, “But I need to come in Bill I need you to do tests on me to check if I am infected coz I might have vitypo and I need you to check for me”, “No I’m not checking for you Mike you can get a doctor to check ok!”, “Ok then Bill thanks for being some friend you’re a idiot I hope you get the virus to”. Bill felt a tear run down his cheek his friend of a friend had just said to him such a horrible thing how could he hope that. He heard the footsteps of mike go away. Bill sat on his bed for a little while and put his head in his hands he just had to think if to go to work and help Mike and risk his life or to stay at home. But he was going to risk his life for his friend of a friend so he went to work.
As he drove to work he watched the morning workers walking to work with smiles and frowns on there faces all he could think was they might have the virus soon. When he walked into work there was blood smeared on one of the walls what the hell was happening. Bill starting running he heard the hooting of monkeys screams and the sound of someone throwing up. Now that wasn’t a pretty noise it sounding like someone was throwing up there whole insides. Bill quickly grabbed his suit and put it on and zips it up really tightly so now infection couldn't get inside. He walked into the room where all the monkeys were kept in their air tight cages there was a horrible stench of rotting decay and monkey faeces. He looked around cage doors had been swung open but there where still monkeys in cages rattling the bars of the cages trying to get out. He can smell a rotten smell like its right at his feet the sweat drips down his forehead going into his eyes.
He looks at the floor laying there was his friend of his friend who yes did have Vitypo he is dead with his stomach ripped out and blood pouring from his mouth. Bill starts running as an infected monkey runs towards him a rip on his suit could cause infection to get into his blood. To him it felt like the door was miles away he jumps for the door and throws it open. He jumps outside and slams the door on the monkey leaving his dead friend of a friend for the monkeys to feast on. But he has to do something about those monkeys he has to work here and he can’t have them in there coz they will kill him.
Days later……… “What the hell happened here” asks one of the army men as he shines around his torch. “Well all the monkeys have Vitypo so mind it if you bang into any or them will infect you and you won’t like that, Two days later after being infected your insides will burn up, you will have the worst headaches ever and screaming out for death it’s the worst thing to ever happen to you” tells Bill to the army men who looked very worried when Bill said this. Blood dripped from the ceilings everyone had their suits on Bill saw Mike for some reason standing up. His friend of a friend was alive but his stomach still hanging out but then he ran at Bill. The army were going to shoot at him but then Bill screamed no saying that he didn’t want to be showered by Vitypo blood. He wanted his friend of his friend to infect him. So he could have Vitypo from his friend of a friend his friend of a friend’s vitypo. But no he wasn’t going to do that he stabbed a syringe into Mike and watched his friend of a friend dropped to the floor. “Bye Mike how was the Vitypo?”
To be continued..........
>> all the monkeys were kept in their air tight cages
just, wow.
> The Finding!
Yep I made that up need to add more bits to that soon.
The joy of the "ignore" feature.
Make. Something. Up. Yourself.
You used "a friend of a friend" way too much when you could of just said friend and used it half as often.
It's a direct rip off of 28 Days Later.
>But he has to do something about those monkeys he has to
> work here and he can’t have them in there coz they will kill him.
He really must have a vital job and care about it a lot if he's willing to get rid of monkeys because he MUST work, rather than quit.
Apart from that it seemed ok in places, sort of Resident Evil, survival horror type of storyline, which was nice to see.
And please do write a sequel :)