Viewing Thread:
"Meaningful Quotes."

Any quotes/sayings that have a meaning or are funny can get posted here.
I get loads from my friends on MSN.

Meaningful:
"Good things take time, great things happen all at once."
"When we wonder we never live"
"There isn't back, there's only forwards!"
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"
"Life is like a rollercoaster, there's twists and turns, ups and downs. All you want to do is get off! But you've just got to enjoy it"
"You can't change the past. All you can do is mend the future"

Funny (a bit rude):
"Men are like ketchup bottles. If you keep banging, you'll get something out of it."
"Children in the dark cause accidents - Accidents in the dark cause children!"

"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting"
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War

"Want anything from the shop?"
-you know where its from ^_^

Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?
- Henry Ward Beecher
The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
- Charles Luckman
'So you think *I'm* the murderer? What do I have to do to convince you that I'm not, be the next victim?'/ 'Well, that would be a start.'
- Peter Stone

"You cut up a thing that's alive and beautiful to find out how it's alive and why it's beautiful, and before you know it, it's neither of those things, and you're standing there with blood on your face and tears in your sight and only the terrible ache of guilt to show for it."

"Last Night I Dreamed I Ate a Giant Marshmallow….When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone!"

Don't know if Smedlos posted this but...
"24 Hours In A Day... 24 Beers In A Case…Coincidence? I Think Not!"

Some of my favourites:

"I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally."

"I wish you were a beer."

"Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma."

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bast*rd die for his."

"Nuke the whales"

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

"If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all."

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"In weight lifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you."

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

"February has only 28 days in it, which means that if you rent an apartment, you are paying for three full days you don't get."

familiarity breeds....chickens (new years eve, one too many)

Two words that guys never wanna hear are "don't" and "stop" - unless they are put together.

"Ho ho ho."
Santa Clause/Father Christmas.

I think it's funny he gets away with saying that to little kids :P

My appologies if any of these have been posted before in here, but I haven't read the whole thing yet, but here are my favourite quotes which have meaning:
"There's no such thing as an unhealthy food, but there is such a thing as an unhealthy diet"
"Life is good for the planet. Intelligent life isn't."
"Speed kills. So does tobacco, alcohol, heroine, cocaine..."
"Don't run from your problems - you'll only get worn out."
"When I grow up, I want to be an adult."
Kid: "When I'm your age, I want to be just like you."
Me: "You'll never be my age. You'll always be [x] years younger."
"What type of keyboard do you have? And what click of mouse?"
"My hoover sucks, but my fridge is cool."
"Immitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement."
"Immitation is the inovators last resort."

The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.
- Peter Ustinov

The covers of this book are too far apart.
- Ambrose Bierce

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
- Garry Shandling