The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Had it put in today, first thing we see when the box is switched on: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys!!!
I don't think we could have lasted a day longer without it.
I don't think we could have lasted a day longer without it.
Page:
We have 11 movie channels.
The rare time I flick through them it usually consists of
Soccer Moms 1
Soccer Moms 2
Soccer Dog 1
Soccer Dog 2
etc
The rare time I flick through them it usually consists of
Soccer Moms 1
Soccer Moms 2
Soccer Dog 1
Soccer Dog 2
etc
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
Sky One and Sky Mix have Scrubs on during the day.
South Park is on Paramount at the weekends and is on Sky One at 12AM everyday.
Family guy is occasionally on FX and King of the Hill is to.
Yeh - its not all bad. I usually resort to watching programs about 'nam on the History channel. The porn is crap, if you ring in and stay on the line for 10 minutes netting us £100 we will show you our nipples for 10 seconds. Pffft.
South Park is on Paramount at the weekends and is on Sky One at 12AM everyday.
Family guy is occasionally on FX and King of the Hill is to.
Yeh - its not all bad. I usually resort to watching programs about 'nam on the History channel. The porn is crap, if you ring in and stay on the line for 10 minutes netting us £100 we will show you our nipples for 10 seconds. Pffft.
Scarily I find FX 270 has been the best channel for programs this year, followed by Five and then... Hallmark!!!
Yep.
FX has had NYPD Blue (which I'd neglected to really watch up until now), Huff, Murder One, Carnivale and repeats of The Shield.
Five's had the usual CSI stuff.
Hallmark's had the fiercely intelligent Law and Order variants and House which have really surprised me since 6 months ago I'd have assumed everything on the channel was crap.
Yep.
FX has had NYPD Blue (which I'd neglected to really watch up until now), Huff, Murder One, Carnivale and repeats of The Shield.
Five's had the usual CSI stuff.
Hallmark's had the fiercely intelligent Law and Order variants and House which have really surprised me since 6 months ago I'd have assumed everything on the channel was crap.
We have one of those fangled Sky+ boxes.
I see TV in a whole new light.
I see TV in a whole new light.
There is an amazing amount of 'budget' channels - the sort no other satellite or cable service would dare host. A plethora of channels where you can ring in and play light-weight digital boardgames, whilst being gently seduced by one of the 'telebabes'. And L!VE TV is there! I thought that was dead, but like some sort of sub-Human cellular life form, it survives on Sky Digital. No sign of the news bunny, but plenty of porn for the 'hunter-masturbator' still. Don't these people realise the internet exists?
And in between the gameshow channels and shopping channels, and 'How To Buy More Sky!' channels, I found the lowest possible form of life: The Games Channel. It's called something like that. Imagine the good bit from Gamesmaster, when Patrick Moore would mock a child for not being able to score a goal in Sensible Soccer, and couldn't find a Lv8 Enchanted Mace in Dungeons & Dragons. Now imagine it with a spotty 30-year-old, with a laggy webcam, bestowing his knowledge of videogame cheats to the screen from "txt msgs" he gets sent throughout the day at an extortionate rate. Poor.
The feature I find most unsettling though is the 'Playjam' games network. It's not the bad 'left, right, select-to-fire' mechanics of every game, which cost a silly amount of money to play (but you only find this out after you enter the damn thing!) - it's the music. "Playjaaaam. Plaaaaayjaaaaaaaaam". Someone sang that, but it was so bad they used software to correct it. The end result is a warble not disimilar to a banshee trying to pull you in the TV screen should you venture close enough.
Sky Digital: somehow it's worse/better ("blorse"?) than NTL, but is mostly the same. I invented a word, yay!
At least they've still got the channel with 'Special Victims Unit', easily the best show on at the moment - it's got Ice-T and Richard Belzar in, and some kind of psychic Japanese fellon-cracker, investigating sexy crime - it can't go wrong.
EDIT: And now someone in the room is watching a lame Star Trek spin-off. The second one already today, and it's on for an hour. Great. Bring it on, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys!
And in between the gameshow channels and shopping channels, and 'How To Buy More Sky!' channels, I found the lowest possible form of life: The Games Channel. It's called something like that. Imagine the good bit from Gamesmaster, when Patrick Moore would mock a child for not being able to score a goal in Sensible Soccer, and couldn't find a Lv8 Enchanted Mace in Dungeons & Dragons. Now imagine it with a spotty 30-year-old, with a laggy webcam, bestowing his knowledge of videogame cheats to the screen from "txt msgs" he gets sent throughout the day at an extortionate rate. Poor.
The feature I find most unsettling though is the 'Playjam' games network. It's not the bad 'left, right, select-to-fire' mechanics of every game, which cost a silly amount of money to play (but you only find this out after you enter the damn thing!) - it's the music. "Playjaaaam. Plaaaaayjaaaaaaaaam". Someone sang that, but it was so bad they used software to correct it. The end result is a warble not disimilar to a banshee trying to pull you in the TV screen should you venture close enough.
Sky Digital: somehow it's worse/better ("blorse"?) than NTL, but is mostly the same. I invented a word, yay!
At least they've still got the channel with 'Special Victims Unit', easily the best show on at the moment - it's got Ice-T and Richard Belzar in, and some kind of psychic Japanese fellon-cracker, investigating sexy crime - it can't go wrong.
EDIT: And now someone in the room is watching a lame Star Trek spin-off. The second one already today, and it's on for an hour. Great. Bring it on, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys!
"Killer Bees" is showing regularly on one of the movie channels. If you want to see just how bad movies can be, give it a go.
You can watch "Charlie's Angels Full Throttle Uncovered" all day long.
Oh, if you ever get the chance to see "Most Vertical Primate", don't pass it up.
Oh, if you ever get the chance to see "Most Vertical Primate", don't pass it up.
The horror channel is great. There was a film called 'The Hillbilly Haunted House' on a while back.
I'm guessing that next he fights a giant, but really it's just a normal-sized man far away (or a midget even further, for the full-on "freak" effect), and the focus levelled out. Then they do the jaw-dropping action of passing a CGI tree trunk to each other, like Van Damme and his evil twin do in every movie.
That reminds me, we've probably got loads of cacky movie channels too lol!
That reminds me, we've probably got loads of cacky movie channels too lol!
Page: