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Ok, so I could have worked in a bar... a pub - a burger van or indeed just sat on my jacksy and wait for money to appear on my lap all summer.
BUT
O yes...
I am working in the 'Tea Shoppe' in the alpha garden centre, in Essex.
'Tea Shoppe' - sounds traditional huh? Like the kind of place that sells toasted tea cakes and scones to posh people? That brings you tea in little blue cups and saucers with pretty little china tea pots? That brings you sandwiches cut into triangles faced up with garnish instead of two rectangles on a plate?
- well yes. It is!
Its all very nice. Its a lovely feminine job, with my little apron and my smile and my own little 'drinks and cakes' area - or 'station' as i like to call it. I am casually whipping cappacinos, creating lattés and milkshake art spectaculars!
It's all very lovely except - we forget - one minor set back
ESSEX.
Now i have grown up here, i have worked in chelmsford and wickford and been to school in billericay. I have dragged my friend out of a stoner council estate in pitsea, i have watched someones arm be sliced open with a bare bottle, i have gone to the deep pit of basildon's belly and walked past chavs in their 60's breeding little chavs!
This quaint little tea shoppe, wooden cabin - wooden tables, fountain in the grounds and its in Essex.
1) Builders. - It's morning, i've scrubbed the tables, put sugars in their little pots and by joe am i ready to be nice to some sweet little ladies and give them extra jam taking all credit for the cooking... in walks the builders. With their snotty, dirty, paint covered paws all over the menu - but o no, smutty behaviour i can handle. RUDENESS, as they pick at every single little thing that isnt quite right. To the thickness of toast to the smear on the tea spoon - which has probably emerged since he spat and wiped it on a greasy top.
... 'OIGHT LUV! GETTA's A TEA SPOON. BRING US KNIVES AND FORKS - PAIN IN THE F**king ARSSSS WE HAV TO GET EM OURSELVES!'
2) 'Hollerers'. - £1.00 for a POT of tea. Thats a good 2 cups of tea, they leave their table of chavlings and try pulling their t-shirts over thier bellies. Hobling over with earing hoops that could swing a pigeon.
'How Much is a tea luv???'
..'Its one pound for a pot, 80p for a mug'
'ITS A PAAAAAAND Bill.. A PAAAAAAAAAAAND.'
The high shrilled nasal bellow bounces off of the wooden ceiling and the poor customers - and continues in unison. 'WHAT YA WAAAANA EAAAAT?' 'BAYKAN?' 'NAAAAAAAAAAA They AINT GOT CHIPS ERE'
3) Travelling families of the irish kind - Travelling families of the irish kind come in ordering their fry ups whilst looking at your boobs. They then get you to go back and forth as much as they can to look at your booty - then concur and tell you what they think. They order one breakfast and pay for it. Then fifty fellow friends come and swoon the table ordering more breakfasts and drinks not at once but gathered so you lose track of who has paid and who hasnt.. then when you come back with receipt - the 'travellers' are long gone, skid marks and pitch forks in tow - so is the food and the cutlery - and plates..
Then you have your regular sleeeeeeze balls. If one more guy comments on my lovely 'MUFFins..' one more time.. This red head is gonna blow.
I do enjoy my job, dont get me wrong. The many peoples in this part of the country adds variety - from the brentwood posh knobs to the pitsea elizabeth duke clad - two teethed crew their is good ofund in all.
anyways..
This is my summer :)
Ginge is over and out.
BUT
O yes...
I am working in the 'Tea Shoppe' in the alpha garden centre, in Essex.
'Tea Shoppe' - sounds traditional huh? Like the kind of place that sells toasted tea cakes and scones to posh people? That brings you tea in little blue cups and saucers with pretty little china tea pots? That brings you sandwiches cut into triangles faced up with garnish instead of two rectangles on a plate?
- well yes. It is!
Its all very nice. Its a lovely feminine job, with my little apron and my smile and my own little 'drinks and cakes' area - or 'station' as i like to call it. I am casually whipping cappacinos, creating lattés and milkshake art spectaculars!
It's all very lovely except - we forget - one minor set back
ESSEX.
Now i have grown up here, i have worked in chelmsford and wickford and been to school in billericay. I have dragged my friend out of a stoner council estate in pitsea, i have watched someones arm be sliced open with a bare bottle, i have gone to the deep pit of basildon's belly and walked past chavs in their 60's breeding little chavs!
This quaint little tea shoppe, wooden cabin - wooden tables, fountain in the grounds and its in Essex.
1) Builders. - It's morning, i've scrubbed the tables, put sugars in their little pots and by joe am i ready to be nice to some sweet little ladies and give them extra jam taking all credit for the cooking... in walks the builders. With their snotty, dirty, paint covered paws all over the menu - but o no, smutty behaviour i can handle. RUDENESS, as they pick at every single little thing that isnt quite right. To the thickness of toast to the smear on the tea spoon - which has probably emerged since he spat and wiped it on a greasy top.
... 'OIGHT LUV! GETTA's A TEA SPOON. BRING US KNIVES AND FORKS - PAIN IN THE F**king ARSSSS WE HAV TO GET EM OURSELVES!'
2) 'Hollerers'. - £1.00 for a POT of tea. Thats a good 2 cups of tea, they leave their table of chavlings and try pulling their t-shirts over thier bellies. Hobling over with earing hoops that could swing a pigeon.
'How Much is a tea luv???'
..'Its one pound for a pot, 80p for a mug'
'ITS A PAAAAAAND Bill.. A PAAAAAAAAAAAND.'
The high shrilled nasal bellow bounces off of the wooden ceiling and the poor customers - and continues in unison. 'WHAT YA WAAAANA EAAAAT?' 'BAYKAN?' 'NAAAAAAAAAAA They AINT GOT CHIPS ERE'
3) Travelling families of the irish kind - Travelling families of the irish kind come in ordering their fry ups whilst looking at your boobs. They then get you to go back and forth as much as they can to look at your booty - then concur and tell you what they think. They order one breakfast and pay for it. Then fifty fellow friends come and swoon the table ordering more breakfasts and drinks not at once but gathered so you lose track of who has paid and who hasnt.. then when you come back with receipt - the 'travellers' are long gone, skid marks and pitch forks in tow - so is the food and the cutlery - and plates..
Then you have your regular sleeeeeeze balls. If one more guy comments on my lovely 'MUFFins..' one more time.. This red head is gonna blow.
I do enjoy my job, dont get me wrong. The many peoples in this part of the country adds variety - from the brentwood posh knobs to the pitsea elizabeth duke clad - two teethed crew their is good ofund in all.
anyways..
This is my summer :)
Ginge is over and out.
Page:
Heh, your phonetic pronounciation of their accents reminds me of when I was on holiday once. There was a family from London (or thereabouts), and were sat a table away from where I was. The conversation they had was classic:
"Josh, go get us a packet a cheese 'n' onion!"
"'roight".
*Two minutes later*
"Mum, they ain't go no cheese 'n' onion"
"How many f***ing times Josh, it's not "ain't", it's "ain'T" (mass pronounciation on the "T").
How I laughed. And if that wasn't bad enough, this was followed later with:
"Oh yer, I went down Tonbridge the other day..." (dirty pikey town in Kent)..."yer, lovely little village."
A little piece of me died inside after that one.
"Josh, go get us a packet a cheese 'n' onion!"
"'roight".
*Two minutes later*
"Mum, they ain't go no cheese 'n' onion"
"How many f***ing times Josh, it's not "ain't", it's "ain'T" (mass pronounciation on the "T").
How I laughed. And if that wasn't bad enough, this was followed later with:
"Oh yer, I went down Tonbridge the other day..." (dirty pikey town in Kent)..."yer, lovely little village."
A little piece of me died inside after that one.
no, no it's fine... i need all the help i can get :)
to be honest i never really pictured builders going into a tea room. my loathing of all things scone means i avoid them too.
to be honest i never really pictured builders going into a tea room. my loathing of all things scone means i avoid them too.
..i knew when i put that
i really shouldnt have
i really shouldnt have
Lil Ginge wrote:
> If one more guy comments
> on my lovely 'MUFFins..' one more time.. This red head is gonna blow.
so flattery WILL get you everywhere :)
> If one more guy comments
> on my lovely 'MUFFins..' one more time.. This red head is gonna blow.
so flattery WILL get you everywhere :)
Where is this garden centre?
-
OK, I found it. I'm gonna be driving past a bit this summer, I'll pop in and look for the ginger girl with nice muffins.
-
OK, I found it. I'm gonna be driving past a bit this summer, I'll pop in and look for the ginger girl with nice muffins.
Nice going. Prefer Starbucks in the morn though.
The only noticeable downside for my job next year is also location - I'll be working in the Soho area. :S
The only noticeable downside for my job next year is also location - I'll be working in the Soho area. :S
Ok, so I could have worked in a bar... a pub - a burger van or indeed just sat on my jacksy and wait for money to appear on my lap all summer.
BUT
O yes...
I am working in the 'Tea Shoppe' in the alpha garden centre, in Essex.
'Tea Shoppe' - sounds traditional huh? Like the kind of place that sells toasted tea cakes and scones to posh people? That brings you tea in little blue cups and saucers with pretty little china tea pots? That brings you sandwiches cut into triangles faced up with garnish instead of two rectangles on a plate?
- well yes. It is!
Its all very nice. Its a lovely feminine job, with my little apron and my smile and my own little 'drinks and cakes' area - or 'station' as i like to call it. I am casually whipping cappacinos, creating lattés and milkshake art spectaculars!
It's all very lovely except - we forget - one minor set back
ESSEX.
Now i have grown up here, i have worked in chelmsford and wickford and been to school in billericay. I have dragged my friend out of a stoner council estate in pitsea, i have watched someones arm be sliced open with a bare bottle, i have gone to the deep pit of basildon's belly and walked past chavs in their 60's breeding little chavs!
This quaint little tea shoppe, wooden cabin - wooden tables, fountain in the grounds and its in Essex.
1) Builders. - It's morning, i've scrubbed the tables, put sugars in their little pots and by joe am i ready to be nice to some sweet little ladies and give them extra jam taking all credit for the cooking... in walks the builders. With their snotty, dirty, paint covered paws all over the menu - but o no, smutty behaviour i can handle. RUDENESS, as they pick at every single little thing that isnt quite right. To the thickness of toast to the smear on the tea spoon - which has probably emerged since he spat and wiped it on a greasy top.
... 'OIGHT LUV! GETTA's A TEA SPOON. BRING US KNIVES AND FORKS - PAIN IN THE F**king ARSSSS WE HAV TO GET EM OURSELVES!'
2) 'Hollerers'. - £1.00 for a POT of tea. Thats a good 2 cups of tea, they leave their table of chavlings and try pulling their t-shirts over thier bellies. Hobling over with earing hoops that could swing a pigeon.
'How Much is a tea luv???'
..'Its one pound for a pot, 80p for a mug'
'ITS A PAAAAAAND Bill.. A PAAAAAAAAAAAND.'
The high shrilled nasal bellow bounces off of the wooden ceiling and the poor customers - and continues in unison. 'WHAT YA WAAAANA EAAAAT?' 'BAYKAN?' 'NAAAAAAAAAAA They AINT GOT CHIPS ERE'
3) Travelling families of the irish kind - Travelling families of the irish kind come in ordering their fry ups whilst looking at your boobs. They then get you to go back and forth as much as they can to look at your booty - then concur and tell you what they think. They order one breakfast and pay for it. Then fifty fellow friends come and swoon the table ordering more breakfasts and drinks not at once but gathered so you lose track of who has paid and who hasnt.. then when you come back with receipt - the 'travellers' are long gone, skid marks and pitch forks in tow - so is the food and the cutlery - and plates..
Then you have your regular sleeeeeeze balls. If one more guy comments on my lovely 'MUFFins..' one more time.. This red head is gonna blow.
I do enjoy my job, dont get me wrong. The many peoples in this part of the country adds variety - from the brentwood posh knobs to the pitsea elizabeth duke clad - two teethed crew their is good ofund in all.
anyways..
This is my summer :)
Ginge is over and out.
BUT
O yes...
I am working in the 'Tea Shoppe' in the alpha garden centre, in Essex.
'Tea Shoppe' - sounds traditional huh? Like the kind of place that sells toasted tea cakes and scones to posh people? That brings you tea in little blue cups and saucers with pretty little china tea pots? That brings you sandwiches cut into triangles faced up with garnish instead of two rectangles on a plate?
- well yes. It is!
Its all very nice. Its a lovely feminine job, with my little apron and my smile and my own little 'drinks and cakes' area - or 'station' as i like to call it. I am casually whipping cappacinos, creating lattés and milkshake art spectaculars!
It's all very lovely except - we forget - one minor set back
ESSEX.
Now i have grown up here, i have worked in chelmsford and wickford and been to school in billericay. I have dragged my friend out of a stoner council estate in pitsea, i have watched someones arm be sliced open with a bare bottle, i have gone to the deep pit of basildon's belly and walked past chavs in their 60's breeding little chavs!
This quaint little tea shoppe, wooden cabin - wooden tables, fountain in the grounds and its in Essex.
1) Builders. - It's morning, i've scrubbed the tables, put sugars in their little pots and by joe am i ready to be nice to some sweet little ladies and give them extra jam taking all credit for the cooking... in walks the builders. With their snotty, dirty, paint covered paws all over the menu - but o no, smutty behaviour i can handle. RUDENESS, as they pick at every single little thing that isnt quite right. To the thickness of toast to the smear on the tea spoon - which has probably emerged since he spat and wiped it on a greasy top.
... 'OIGHT LUV! GETTA's A TEA SPOON. BRING US KNIVES AND FORKS - PAIN IN THE F**king ARSSSS WE HAV TO GET EM OURSELVES!'
2) 'Hollerers'. - £1.00 for a POT of tea. Thats a good 2 cups of tea, they leave their table of chavlings and try pulling their t-shirts over thier bellies. Hobling over with earing hoops that could swing a pigeon.
'How Much is a tea luv???'
..'Its one pound for a pot, 80p for a mug'
'ITS A PAAAAAAND Bill.. A PAAAAAAAAAAAND.'
The high shrilled nasal bellow bounces off of the wooden ceiling and the poor customers - and continues in unison. 'WHAT YA WAAAANA EAAAAT?' 'BAYKAN?' 'NAAAAAAAAAAA They AINT GOT CHIPS ERE'
3) Travelling families of the irish kind - Travelling families of the irish kind come in ordering their fry ups whilst looking at your boobs. They then get you to go back and forth as much as they can to look at your booty - then concur and tell you what they think. They order one breakfast and pay for it. Then fifty fellow friends come and swoon the table ordering more breakfasts and drinks not at once but gathered so you lose track of who has paid and who hasnt.. then when you come back with receipt - the 'travellers' are long gone, skid marks and pitch forks in tow - so is the food and the cutlery - and plates..
Then you have your regular sleeeeeeze balls. If one more guy comments on my lovely 'MUFFins..' one more time.. This red head is gonna blow.
I do enjoy my job, dont get me wrong. The many peoples in this part of the country adds variety - from the brentwood posh knobs to the pitsea elizabeth duke clad - two teethed crew their is good ofund in all.
anyways..
This is my summer :)
Ginge is over and out.
Page: