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"Hmmm, who would know...?"

My neighbour moved out recently, leaving an empty house next to us, with a nice garden, massive outhouse/shed thing, raised decking, pond and water fountain. The interior is nicer than ours too. What's to stop us moving our stuff in, swapping the door numbers, and taking up residence there?

I've had a good think, and we live in the perfect spot to do it. The houses aren't numbered sequentially here, so it wouldn't go 1, 3, 2. We live in a small square of 7 houses which leads onto more houses. The houses opposite are meant to have the inbetween numbers - our side is even - but it carries on round the corner a bit and gets slightly out of sync. So it wouldn't be odd for our house to have the neighbour's number.

I know someone who works as an Estate Agent, should I need to swap keys (I'd just get my neighbour to go with the company, he'd play along, he liked us!), and someone who works as a Postman (fancy delivering to my area for a week again, Goaty?). It's just the initial change where someone might notice a difference, but then again they might not. In any case, we can just say we bought it - who would know/care?

The only moral issue is that of money. But our houses are worth the same, and our neighbour wouldn't care as long as he made what he'd make selling his house. It wouldn't be like we were ripping anyone off.

I honestly can't think of anything that could stop me doing this. Can you?

(obviously I'm not going to, but it could happen, think about it douchebag)

What about an office where you're the only man, and all the women average 40 and are cranky?

Ah... I'll just stick with crappy job just now then.

Nothing can be worse than my last job. Cleaning expired dairy products at 6am on a Saturday morning with one hours sleep and you're hangover about to kick in as all the weirdo customers start to flood the store.

monkey_man wrote:
>What's the money like?
------

It's ok but you have to work damned hard for it.
You don't just take one bag and wander around whistling. Willowfield takes 3 bags, stuffed to bursting everyday, Woodcroft takes 2.
The walk that covers your area for instance, not only yours but The Dashes, Freshwaters, The Drive, Lavender Close, yours, that little bit at the bottom of yours & School Lane/Deseurmeaux Bungalows.
Start between 4am & 5am, you're in the depot for 4hrs prepping before you even get out on your walk.
Can be nice and sunny, but can also be raining/snowing/freezing/windy.
After the 1st couple of weeks your body gets used to it, but those first two weeks will hurt. You will get massive blisters, your back will hurt, you will chew your fingers up.
Shift pattern, so a rotating day off in the week and sunday. Which means no consecutive 2 days off for 6 week stretches.
So your day off is spent at home, not doing anything because that's the one day you can. Social life stops, if you're up at 3:30am you won't be down the pub on a Friday "larging it" because you'll suffer like nothing you can believe when it's 4am Saturday and you're at work.
It's not a job for pansies or fragile butterflies who don't like sweating for their £.

But the plus side is if you go fast you can be finished by 11, 11:30am and have the rest of the day to yourself. You're your own boss and, eventually, you might get your own area. It took me 2years before I landed my walk. Until then, you'll be covering for other people on areas you dont know every day with stuff left for you because the regular doesn't care - he's off.

What if the neighbours on the other side decide to do the same? Then you'll all end up in it and you could perform hilarious japes and make millions in daytime TV.

Some spoilsport vigilante neighbours may report you.

Goatboy wrote:
> Willowfield
> Woodcroft

World of Woodcroft? I'm surprised that game doesn't let you have a real-life job in it yet. What's the money like?

It all depends on the area you get.
My walk is actually quite nice now I know the people there.
Willowfield - not as cack as it appears, no real rough area although a couple of rows aren't the nicest in the world.
Woodcroft - Nice clean straightforward estate with a few angry dogs.

I've been on it long enough now that people know me to chat to and say hello when they're walking their kids to school/going to work/getting the papers. I've been given a bottle of wine for looking after somebody's doorkeys they left hanging in the lock, helped a guy push start his car and had the occasional cuppa on a cold morning when it's been raining from kindly old people.
The past few days I've wandered about in the sunshine getting brown whilst being paid to do so.

I should've done this years ago instead of wasting time sitting in an office using the internet all day to pass my time.

I was thinking of following in your footsteps oh Goatman.

Then I talked to a friend who does it in my town. He gets put to the other end of town and down Drumchapel... which is full of drug attacks(addicts obviously) and pushers walking about at 6am. Some streets don't even get mail delivered anymore because posties kept getting stabbed and robbed.

There goes my ideal vision of strolling around nice grassy areas in the sunshine waving at everyone.

monkey_man wrote:
and someone who works as a Postman (fancy
> delivering to my area for a week again, Goaty?).
-------

No, because I'd have to do The Dashes as well, and that place has too many flights of stairs to stinky maisonettes.

Hedfix wrote:
> Your neighbour might have secretly liked to be woken up in the middle
> of the night and raped at knifepoint by old friends who don't check
> up on him very often.

who doesn't?

> That might be a problem.

not a big enough one to quit that early though!