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So heres a story off the top of my head.
I run in; people on both sides shooting me madly, like a pack of wild wolves. I jump through the air and throw a grenade. Then I roll to the floor and escape to another room. I hear the explosion. I watch the people fly. The first person fly’s up into the air, spinning uncontrollably. All the people fly out like a load of pigeons flying off. Then they all smash to the floor. I come out of the room and have a look around but no-one, so empty that tumbleweed could fly by.
I run downstairs there’s so much silence you could even hear a pin drop. But then I hear a cracking concrete - the steps are breaking. I jump for it just as the stairs collapse. That could have been me falling to my death but it wasn't and that was good. But then I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s a bony hand, the fingers dig into me like knifes. I punch back and knock the person to the floor.
I look down on the floor, its a man he has a gun in his hand, a bruise on his face and a black top on with blue jeans, I’m gonna’ kill this sucker. I hold my gun to his head putting my finger on the smooth trigger. Then blowing this guys brains to the floor. I blast a hole in his head then turn round and put my black boots to the floor and walk away, with a grin on my face. My work here is done. Now I must move and find some more suckers to kill.
I run out the building with my hard shoes walking on the floor. I get in my car, my Nissan 350:Z. I speed off down the road to my next assignment. To Mr Johnson the meanest guy in town. He hadn't paid me for the drug I gave him and that was 3 weeks ago. I drive down to Mr Johnson’s and stop outside his house. He tries to show off with his house, trying to make it really flash by having guard dogs outside. Well I grab my shotgun and blow those mutts heads in. They tried to bark but them mutts didn't have time to I was too quick for them. I blow the lock on the gate and walked in. I throw a rock at Mr Johnson's window and he comes running out.
"Who the hell throw that at my window, come out now", He screams. He can't see me because I am hiding behind the bush like a rabbit hiding from a fox. But then I came out from behind the bush "Hello Mr Johnson" "Errrm Billy I swear I Promise I’m going to get the money" "You said that a week ago Mr Johnson now your dead".
I pump up my shotgun and splatter Mr Johnson's stomach in. I then go into his house and take loads of his stuff, like his big T.V, his wife, all of his money loads of things. Then I set that MONSTERS house on fire and watched it burn. That was all in a nice days work first I killed 20 men then I kill a drug stealing, no good, doesn’t give money back, creep. All a good days work for me the greatest Hitman in town. Now who's my next assignment? I wonder…
I run in; people on both sides shooting me madly, like a pack of wild wolves. I jump through the air and throw a grenade. Then I roll to the floor and escape to another room. I hear the explosion. I watch the people fly. The first person fly’s up into the air, spinning uncontrollably. All the people fly out like a load of pigeons flying off. Then they all smash to the floor. I come out of the room and have a look around but no-one, so empty that tumbleweed could fly by.
I run downstairs there’s so much silence you could even hear a pin drop. But then I hear a cracking concrete - the steps are breaking. I jump for it just as the stairs collapse. That could have been me falling to my death but it wasn't and that was good. But then I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s a bony hand, the fingers dig into me like knifes. I punch back and knock the person to the floor.
I look down on the floor, its a man he has a gun in his hand, a bruise on his face and a black top on with blue jeans, I’m gonna’ kill this sucker. I hold my gun to his head putting my finger on the smooth trigger. Then blowing this guys brains to the floor. I blast a hole in his head then turn round and put my black boots to the floor and walk away, with a grin on my face. My work here is done. Now I must move and find some more suckers to kill.
I run out the building with my hard shoes walking on the floor. I get in my car, my Nissan 350:Z. I speed off down the road to my next assignment. To Mr Johnson the meanest guy in town. He hadn't paid me for the drug I gave him and that was 3 weeks ago. I drive down to Mr Johnson’s and stop outside his house. He tries to show off with his house, trying to make it really flash by having guard dogs outside. Well I grab my shotgun and blow those mutts heads in. They tried to bark but them mutts didn't have time to I was too quick for them. I blow the lock on the gate and walked in. I throw a rock at Mr Johnson's window and he comes running out.
"Who the hell throw that at my window, come out now", He screams. He can't see me because I am hiding behind the bush like a rabbit hiding from a fox. But then I came out from behind the bush "Hello Mr Johnson" "Errrm Billy I swear I Promise I’m going to get the money" "You said that a week ago Mr Johnson now your dead".
I pump up my shotgun and splatter Mr Johnson's stomach in. I then go into his house and take loads of his stuff, like his big T.V, his wife, all of his money loads of things. Then I set that MONSTERS house on fire and watched it burn. That was all in a nice days work first I killed 20 men then I kill a drug stealing, no good, doesn’t give money back, creep. All a good days work for me the greatest Hitman in town. Now who's my next assignment? I wonder…
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Cross-should've-been-aborted-at-birth-bob wrote:
"I run in; people on both sides shooting me madly, like a pack of wild wolves."
Since when did wolves have guns?
"I jump through the air and throw a grenade. Then I roll to the floor and escape to another room. I hear the explosion. I watch the people fly. The first person fly’s up into the air, spinning uncontrollably. All the people fly out like a load of pigeons flying off. Then they all smash to the floor. I come out of the room and have a look around but no-one, so empty that tumbleweed could fly by."
Wow, I counted the word "fly" in it's different forms FIVE times there. You've only narrowly beaten the vocabulary of Coco the Monkey.
"I run downstairs there’s so much silence you could even hear a pin drop. But then I hear a cracking concrete - the steps are breaking."
Oh dear.
"I jump for it just as the stairs collapse. That could have been me falling to my death but it wasn't and that was good. "
I disagree.
"But then I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s a bony hand, the fingers dig into me like knifes. I punch back and knock the person to the floor."
OMG the tension. Is it your mum or a bad man???
"I look down on the floor, its a man he has a gun in his hand, a bruise on his face and a black top on with blue jeans,"
If he had a gun, why did he feel you up?
"I’m gonna’ kill this sucker. I hold my gun to his head putting my finger on the smooth trigger. Then blowing this guys brains to the floor. I blast a hole in his head then turn round and put my black boots to the floor and walk away, with a grin on my face. My work here is done. Now I must move and find some more suckers to kill."
How does it feel to kill a "sucker"?
"I run out the building with my hard shoes"
You just said you were wearing boots.
"walking on the floor. I get in my car, my Nissan 350:Z."
Advice - trade it in.
"I speed off down the road to my next assignment. To Mr Johnson the meanest guy in town. He hadn't paid me for the drug I gave him and that was 3 weeks ago."
What was it, viagra?
"I drive down to Mr Johnson’s and stop outside his house. He tries to show off with his house, trying to make it really flash by having guard dogs outside. Well I grab my shotgun and blow those mutts heads in. They tried to bark but them mutts didn't have time to I was too quick for them."
Ever seen a real dog?
"I blow the lock on the gate and walked in. I throw a rock at Mr Johnson's window"
Subtle
"and he comes running out. 'Who the hell throw that at my window, come out now', He screams."
I suppose he's deaf and that's why he didn't hear the multiple shotgun blasts?
"He can't see me because I am hiding behind the bush like a rabbit hiding from a fox. But then I came out from behind the bush "Hello Mr Johnson" "Errrm Billy I swear I Promise I’m going to get the money" "You said that a week ago Mr Johnson now your dead".
you're
"I pump up my shotgun and splatter Mr Johnson's stomach in. I then go into his house and take loads of his stuff, like his big T.V, his wife, all of his money loads of things. Then I set that MONSTERS house on fire and watched it burn."
[URL]http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=irony[/URL]
"That was all in a nice days work first I killed 20 men"
You never mentioned counting the bodies.
"then I kill a drug stealing, no good, doesn’t give money back, creep. All a good days work for me the greatest Hitman in town. Now who's my next assignment? I wonder… "
This is the worst thing I've read in a long time, nob boy.
"I run in; people on both sides shooting me madly, like a pack of wild wolves."
Since when did wolves have guns?
"I jump through the air and throw a grenade. Then I roll to the floor and escape to another room. I hear the explosion. I watch the people fly. The first person fly’s up into the air, spinning uncontrollably. All the people fly out like a load of pigeons flying off. Then they all smash to the floor. I come out of the room and have a look around but no-one, so empty that tumbleweed could fly by."
Wow, I counted the word "fly" in it's different forms FIVE times there. You've only narrowly beaten the vocabulary of Coco the Monkey.
"I run downstairs there’s so much silence you could even hear a pin drop. But then I hear a cracking concrete - the steps are breaking."
Oh dear.
"I jump for it just as the stairs collapse. That could have been me falling to my death but it wasn't and that was good. "
I disagree.
"But then I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s a bony hand, the fingers dig into me like knifes. I punch back and knock the person to the floor."
OMG the tension. Is it your mum or a bad man???
"I look down on the floor, its a man he has a gun in his hand, a bruise on his face and a black top on with blue jeans,"
If he had a gun, why did he feel you up?
"I’m gonna’ kill this sucker. I hold my gun to his head putting my finger on the smooth trigger. Then blowing this guys brains to the floor. I blast a hole in his head then turn round and put my black boots to the floor and walk away, with a grin on my face. My work here is done. Now I must move and find some more suckers to kill."
How does it feel to kill a "sucker"?
"I run out the building with my hard shoes"
You just said you were wearing boots.
"walking on the floor. I get in my car, my Nissan 350:Z."
Advice - trade it in.
"I speed off down the road to my next assignment. To Mr Johnson the meanest guy in town. He hadn't paid me for the drug I gave him and that was 3 weeks ago."
What was it, viagra?
"I drive down to Mr Johnson’s and stop outside his house. He tries to show off with his house, trying to make it really flash by having guard dogs outside. Well I grab my shotgun and blow those mutts heads in. They tried to bark but them mutts didn't have time to I was too quick for them."
Ever seen a real dog?
"I blow the lock on the gate and walked in. I throw a rock at Mr Johnson's window"
Subtle
"and he comes running out. 'Who the hell throw that at my window, come out now', He screams."
I suppose he's deaf and that's why he didn't hear the multiple shotgun blasts?
"He can't see me because I am hiding behind the bush like a rabbit hiding from a fox. But then I came out from behind the bush "Hello Mr Johnson" "Errrm Billy I swear I Promise I’m going to get the money" "You said that a week ago Mr Johnson now your dead".
you're
"I pump up my shotgun and splatter Mr Johnson's stomach in. I then go into his house and take loads of his stuff, like his big T.V, his wife, all of his money loads of things. Then I set that MONSTERS house on fire and watched it burn."
[URL]http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=irony[/URL]
"That was all in a nice days work first I killed 20 men"
You never mentioned counting the bodies.
"then I kill a drug stealing, no good, doesn’t give money back, creep. All a good days work for me the greatest Hitman in town. Now who's my next assignment? I wonder… "
This is the worst thing I've read in a long time, nob boy.
Good for comedy value, but still a shame you didn't adopt the idea of my character Jody Adams. Incorporate him into your next story!
I'm laughing at you, not with you.
Thank you very much.
That was hilarious.
"I took his Big TV his Sofa and his Wife"
"I took his Big TV his Sofa and his Wife"
So heres a story off the top of my head.
I run in; people on both sides shooting me madly, like a pack of wild wolves. I jump through the air and throw a grenade. Then I roll to the floor and escape to another room. I hear the explosion. I watch the people fly. The first person fly’s up into the air, spinning uncontrollably. All the people fly out like a load of pigeons flying off. Then they all smash to the floor. I come out of the room and have a look around but no-one, so empty that tumbleweed could fly by.
I run downstairs there’s so much silence you could even hear a pin drop. But then I hear a cracking concrete - the steps are breaking. I jump for it just as the stairs collapse. That could have been me falling to my death but it wasn't and that was good. But then I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s a bony hand, the fingers dig into me like knifes. I punch back and knock the person to the floor.
I look down on the floor, its a man he has a gun in his hand, a bruise on his face and a black top on with blue jeans, I’m gonna’ kill this sucker. I hold my gun to his head putting my finger on the smooth trigger. Then blowing this guys brains to the floor. I blast a hole in his head then turn round and put my black boots to the floor and walk away, with a grin on my face. My work here is done. Now I must move and find some more suckers to kill.
I run out the building with my hard shoes walking on the floor. I get in my car, my Nissan 350:Z. I speed off down the road to my next assignment. To Mr Johnson the meanest guy in town. He hadn't paid me for the drug I gave him and that was 3 weeks ago. I drive down to Mr Johnson’s and stop outside his house. He tries to show off with his house, trying to make it really flash by having guard dogs outside. Well I grab my shotgun and blow those mutts heads in. They tried to bark but them mutts didn't have time to I was too quick for them. I blow the lock on the gate and walked in. I throw a rock at Mr Johnson's window and he comes running out.
"Who the hell throw that at my window, come out now", He screams. He can't see me because I am hiding behind the bush like a rabbit hiding from a fox. But then I came out from behind the bush "Hello Mr Johnson" "Errrm Billy I swear I Promise I’m going to get the money" "You said that a week ago Mr Johnson now your dead".
I pump up my shotgun and splatter Mr Johnson's stomach in. I then go into his house and take loads of his stuff, like his big T.V, his wife, all of his money loads of things. Then I set that MONSTERS house on fire and watched it burn. That was all in a nice days work first I killed 20 men then I kill a drug stealing, no good, doesn’t give money back, creep. All a good days work for me the greatest Hitman in town. Now who's my next assignment? I wonder…
I run in; people on both sides shooting me madly, like a pack of wild wolves. I jump through the air and throw a grenade. Then I roll to the floor and escape to another room. I hear the explosion. I watch the people fly. The first person fly’s up into the air, spinning uncontrollably. All the people fly out like a load of pigeons flying off. Then they all smash to the floor. I come out of the room and have a look around but no-one, so empty that tumbleweed could fly by.
I run downstairs there’s so much silence you could even hear a pin drop. But then I hear a cracking concrete - the steps are breaking. I jump for it just as the stairs collapse. That could have been me falling to my death but it wasn't and that was good. But then I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s a bony hand, the fingers dig into me like knifes. I punch back and knock the person to the floor.
I look down on the floor, its a man he has a gun in his hand, a bruise on his face and a black top on with blue jeans, I’m gonna’ kill this sucker. I hold my gun to his head putting my finger on the smooth trigger. Then blowing this guys brains to the floor. I blast a hole in his head then turn round and put my black boots to the floor and walk away, with a grin on my face. My work here is done. Now I must move and find some more suckers to kill.
I run out the building with my hard shoes walking on the floor. I get in my car, my Nissan 350:Z. I speed off down the road to my next assignment. To Mr Johnson the meanest guy in town. He hadn't paid me for the drug I gave him and that was 3 weeks ago. I drive down to Mr Johnson’s and stop outside his house. He tries to show off with his house, trying to make it really flash by having guard dogs outside. Well I grab my shotgun and blow those mutts heads in. They tried to bark but them mutts didn't have time to I was too quick for them. I blow the lock on the gate and walked in. I throw a rock at Mr Johnson's window and he comes running out.
"Who the hell throw that at my window, come out now", He screams. He can't see me because I am hiding behind the bush like a rabbit hiding from a fox. But then I came out from behind the bush "Hello Mr Johnson" "Errrm Billy I swear I Promise I’m going to get the money" "You said that a week ago Mr Johnson now your dead".
I pump up my shotgun and splatter Mr Johnson's stomach in. I then go into his house and take loads of his stuff, like his big T.V, his wife, all of his money loads of things. Then I set that MONSTERS house on fire and watched it burn. That was all in a nice days work first I killed 20 men then I kill a drug stealing, no good, doesn’t give money back, creep. All a good days work for me the greatest Hitman in town. Now who's my next assignment? I wonder…
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