Viewing Thread:
"Bernard's Watch"

Oh. My. Sweetlordjesusgod.
What the hell have they done to you?

Change the best programme in the world? Yeah, good move morons.

I saw the 'amazing new' Bernard's Watch today .... terrible stuff.
I'd like to lay before you the painful facts of the crime against quality television. And then you can scream and make an official complaint to ITV on these corrupted issues!1 Or whatever ...

1) Opening credits - for a start, it's not even the proper fashion-icon Bernard any more. Buh. No more walking through a field, and finding the watch at the end of a rainbow ... oh no ... the watch flies down from heaven and onto the new gimp's pillow.

Yeah, there's no spiffy 'postman' this time - just some kid given a special time-stopping watch for no reason, with no moral contraints on its use. What kind of message is this sending to our children!?

And it's called, simpley, rubbishly, "Bernard"
Like the watch doesn't even matter any more.

2) First few mintues - Bernard (bah, imposter) saves a doggie from getting run over! Good work, son, good work.

Then we see what is apparently the headmaster of his school finishing a little circular school motif on the floor, with the school's name in it, in some wet concrete. No hired help, oh no, and no warning to the pupils of the wet concrete underfoot.

Then, surprise surprise, in strolls Bernard and his new geek friend, and right into the concrete. And then the doggie comes back too.

Only one thing to do ... stop time, there's a good lad.

Now what? Here's where it all goes rubbish:

He's established his hatred for the dog already, so in frozen time, surely just get rid of it somewhere? Oh no, put in ... er ... oh yes, in your bag. Smart move, genius.

And then ... he changes his shoes because of the concrete. Yeah, fair enough. But for some reason, idiot child leaves his shoes by the school bins. Er ... why?

And it gets worse ...

Despite geek friend being frozen before ... he suddenly seems in on the whole gig. And when neo-Bern stops time, he remains unfrozen ... I mean, wtf!1 That's not how it works.

Anyway ... oh, a few shocking school-related problems (I mean, look at this terrible example to out children):

1) There's two teachers in the whole place ... the headteacher-cum-handyman and neo-Bern's teacher (who, as obvious within 2 seconds, is the dog's owner) neither of which are in a classroom for more than 2 minutes at a time ... leaving the class completely unattended for the whole day!1 Education standards must be pitiful.

2) Then ... they completely fail to see any pupil's (5 in total) sudden time-frozen or otherwise dissapearance from the class. And, upon seeing them in the halls, simply walk past with no questions about their aimless wondering.

Excellent work, guys.

More of neo-Bern's moronities:

- Upon being chased by a group of spiteful girls ... he doesn't freeze time? No, he runs like some non-magic-watch aided normal person, the great idiot.

- Aforementioned failure to dispose of dog.

- Unfreezing time when he absense from classes / sudden dissaperances into nowhere would have been noticed right away by all those around. No like proper Bernard, who always got back to where he was before unfreezing time. Sensible lad.

- Not being proper Bernard, nor having his fashion sense, nor his intelligence and time-related morals.

- Gimp.

Sucky, sucky, sucky.
I hope you all complain, for the future of our children.

Bah.
I'm so sad ... in so many ways.

Oh. My. Sweetlordjesusgod.
What the hell have they done to you?

Change the best programme in the world? Yeah, good move morons.

I saw the 'amazing new' Bernard's Watch today .... terrible stuff.
I'd like to lay before you the painful facts of the crime against quality television. And then you can scream and make an official complaint to ITV on these corrupted issues!1 Or whatever ...

1) Opening credits - for a start, it's not even the proper fashion-icon Bernard any more. Buh. No more walking through a field, and finding the watch at the end of a rainbow ... oh no ... the watch flies down from heaven and onto the new gimp's pillow.

Yeah, there's no spiffy 'postman' this time - just some kid given a special time-stopping watch for no reason, with no moral contraints on its use. What kind of message is this sending to our children!?

And it's called, simpley, rubbishly, "Bernard"
Like the watch doesn't even matter any more.

2) First few mintues - Bernard (bah, imposter) saves a doggie from getting run over! Good work, son, good work.

Then we see what is apparently the headmaster of his school finishing a little circular school motif on the floor, with the school's name in it, in some wet concrete. No hired help, oh no, and no warning to the pupils of the wet concrete underfoot.

Then, surprise surprise, in strolls Bernard and his new geek friend, and right into the concrete. And then the doggie comes back too.

Only one thing to do ... stop time, there's a good lad.

Now what? Here's where it all goes rubbish:

He's established his hatred for the dog already, so in frozen time, surely just get rid of it somewhere? Oh no, put in ... er ... oh yes, in your bag. Smart move, genius.

And then ... he changes his shoes because of the concrete. Yeah, fair enough. But for some reason, idiot child leaves his shoes by the school bins. Er ... why?

And it gets worse ...

Despite geek friend being frozen before ... he suddenly seems in on the whole gig. And when neo-Bern stops time, he remains unfrozen ... I mean, wtf!1 That's not how it works.

Anyway ... oh, a few shocking school-related problems (I mean, look at this terrible example to out children):

1) There's two teachers in the whole place ... the headteacher-cum-handyman and neo-Bern's teacher (who, as obvious within 2 seconds, is the dog's owner) neither of which are in a classroom for more than 2 minutes at a time ... leaving the class completely unattended for the whole day!1 Education standards must be pitiful.

2) Then ... they completely fail to see any pupil's (5 in total) sudden time-frozen or otherwise dissapearance from the class. And, upon seeing them in the halls, simply walk past with no questions about their aimless wondering.

Excellent work, guys.

More of neo-Bern's moronities:

- Upon being chased by a group of spiteful girls ... he doesn't freeze time? No, he runs like some non-magic-watch aided normal person, the great idiot.

- Aforementioned failure to dispose of dog.

- Unfreezing time when he absense from classes / sudden dissaperances into nowhere would have been noticed right away by all those around. No like proper Bernard, who always got back to where he was before unfreezing time. Sensible lad.

- Not being proper Bernard, nor having his fashion sense, nor his intelligence and time-related morals.

- Gimp.

Sucky, sucky, sucky.
I hope you all complain, for the future of our children.

Bah.
I'm so sad ... in so many ways.

No postman? Then what happens if he breaks the watch or something? He'd be a bit screwed really.

Well ... there might be. But I didn't see one.
And his stupid breakings of the time rules would have surely provoked postman wrath and burning..

Oh lord, I'm glad I didn't see this.

I need to find my Bernard's Watch vs. Aquila thread, now.

This is even worse that the tube Smarties packets being replaced.

Did you see those fools that messed with Sooty a couple of years ago? Turned it into a programme about a hotel? It was awful.

Bodger and badger is sill class

They started showing it again, didn't they?
Top quality. Although I still don't believe that supposed to be mashed potato.

But they're showing the ones with "Mousey" in it. Who sucks ass nodes.
Bah.

Aquila sucked, by the by.

I wish I had benard's watch.

Mousey is annoying at times but i like her.

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....lurvely cheese!"

FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> Aquila sucked, by the by.

Aquila owns.

Is it a flying machine? Is it some old artefact? Is it an invisible thinger?

NOES! It's...umm...all three.

WOW!